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Re: Pay Attention

Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2020 2:42 pm
by s-p-a-c-e
My heart says “Yes”, to what is. It couldn’t say anything else it belongs to what is.

Ok.

Could anything observable be you?

Love,
John

Re: Pay Attention

Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2020 2:44 pm
by s-p-a-c-e
Keith,

Try and find something observable, that is you.
Just one thing.

Give it your best shot.

Love,
john

Re: Pay Attention

Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2020 10:14 am
by Purpleturtle
Hi John, I’ve been looking for something observable that could be me. I’ve found thoughts, feelings, liking and disliking, intentions, consciousness i.e. something deliberate in thought, sensations, seeing, hearing - all of which come and go. There is observing happening that also comes and goes.

Love Keith

Re: Pay Attention

Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2020 12:29 pm
by s-p-a-c-e
Hiya,

Hi John, I’ve been looking for something observable that could be me. I’ve found thoughts, feelings, liking and disliking, intentions, consciousness i.e. something deliberate in thought, sensations, seeing, hearing - all of which come and go. There is observing happening that also comes and goes.

Ok, good. These things COULD be you, but are they, or are they not?

Observe a voice in the head playing out.
Can you observe it and it be you?

Observe a familiar feeling in the chest - one you know so well.
Can you observe it and it be you?

Love,
John

Re: Pay Attention

Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2020 3:08 pm
by Purpleturtle
Hi John,
Observe a voice in the head playing out.
Can you observe it and it be you?
No, when I am observing it, it cannot be me.
Observe a familiar feeling in the chest - one you know so well.
Can you observe it and it be you?


No, same thing.

Love Keith

Re: Pay Attention

Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2020 3:16 pm
by s-p-a-c-e
Is there anything else observable sticking around
that could be you?

Take some time, have a look within.

Maybe there is something that has a certain stamp of you?

Maybe not.

Have a mooch around.

:)

Re: Pay Attention

Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2020 2:47 pm
by Purpleturtle
Hi John,
Is there anything else observable sticking around
that could be you?

Take some time, have a look within.

Maybe there is something that has a certain stamp of you?
I’ve been mooching, there is a flavour, or sense of me-ness. I notice it most around emotions of guilt, or pride, accompanied by thoughts of what “I” have or haven’t done. And there is the sense of being a one who is looking. When I look for this one I get caught in a sort of tautology.

Keith xx

Re: Pay Attention

Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2020 6:01 pm
by s-p-a-c-e
I’ve been mooching, there is a flavour, or sense of me-ness. I notice it most around emotions of guilt, or pride, accompanied by thoughts of what “I” have or haven’t done. And there is the sense of being a one who is looking. When I look for this one I get caught in a sort of tautology.

Love a mooch. :)

Nice work Keith. Yes, the whole 'look for the one/me looking...' is a waste of space - so you're right, it ends up eating it's own tail.

"And there is the sense of being a one who is looking. When I look for this one I get caught in a sort of tautology."

^ This is a good point of departure. The sense of being a one who is looking.

Imagine for a moment that this particular sense, was felt only as the feeling it is.

So, the whole shebang of this sense/feeling 'being a one who' etc is set firmly aside.
We are only imagining this as a possibility.

What is this like - to have this sense, this feeling, and for it to remain what it is, a feeling.

best wishes,
John

Re: Pay Attention

Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:34 am
by Purpleturtle
Hi John,
What is this like - to have this sense, this feeling, and for it to remain what it is, a feeling.
It’s a relief. The sense is a pressure in my head, and it’s good to be out of it. There’s not so much projecting out, and more letting things in.

Keith xx

Re: Pay Attention

Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2020 12:28 pm
by s-p-a-c-e
What is this like - to have this sense, this feeling, and for it to remain what it is, a feeling.
It’s a relief. The sense is a pressure in my head, and it’s good to be out of it. There’s not so much projecting out, and more letting things in.

As strange as it may seem, this seemingly simple distinction is at the heart of the matter. It is so seemingly simple that it is constantly over-looked. Or devalued for not being complicated enough, surely something so simple couldn't be that important.

What's the phrase: hidden in plain sight.

So continue to work softly with this Keith as you go about your day.

Noticing and recognising the feeling as a feeling.

If the thoughts do come in about 'oh, no, this feeling is my sense of self' etc etc. That's ok, it's recognised, acknowledged, and we go back to our practise of the feeling as a feeling, no more, no less.

With much love,
John

Re: Pay Attention

Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2020 10:07 am
by Purpleturtle
Hi John,
If the thoughts do come in about 'oh, no, this feeling is my sense of self' etc etc. That's ok, it's recognised, acknowledged, and we go back to our practise of the feeling as a feeling, no more, no less.
Just checking in to say I am continuing with this practice. Noticing the ‘sense of a self’ as just another sensation among other sensations. It’s a more spacious, less grasping place.
Keith xx

Re: Pay Attention

Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2020 11:20 pm
by s-p-a-c-e
Just checking in to say I am continuing with this practice. Noticing the ‘sense of a self’ as just another sensation among other sensations. It’s a more spacious, less grasping place.
Keith xx

Thanks Keith. We've to stay alert in this, as we're not slipping into the notion that sensations are JUST sensations, as if they were of little value compared THE GRAND OLD SENSE OF SELF.

Sensations can easily become a kind of amorphous category.

If you had a rose in the garden and visited it every day - which perception is the rose? Tuesday's rose? Wednesday's rose? Where is the rose? Can we box the rose in and say THIS is the rose? Same with you.

Each perception of sensation is unique to you in this particular slice of life.

So crack on, and notice the feeling sensation as it shifts and moves.

There is calling a sensation a sense of self, and deeming it to be so.
But look at the sensation - is it anything but a sensation?
Does it talk? Think? Act?
Can a familiar sensation BE who you are?

And if not, what are the implications of that?

That for years you'd seen a familiar sensation as an indicator of a sense of self, and now you're considering the possibility that it isn't, has never been anything other than a familiar sensation.

Bring this implication in as far as you're willing to.

With much love,
John

Re: Pay Attention

Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2020 4:55 pm
by s-p-a-c-e
Hi Keith,

Just checking in with you. Share when you're ready.

Love,
John

Re: Pay Attention

Posted: Wed Jun 24, 2020 8:55 am
by Purpleturtle
Hi John,

Thanks for checking-in with me.
There is calling a sensation a sense of self, and deeming it to be so.
But look at the sensation - is it anything but a sensation?
Does it talk? Think? Act?
Can a familiar sensation BE who you are?
I have been looking at this sense of self, or looking for it. It does seem to move about and attach to whatever I happen to be noticing, a pressure in the head, a thought of something done or to be done, a tightness in the chest or stomach. No, the sense of being a self cannot talk, or act, or even think, although it may be attached to these things.

Can that familiar sensation be who I am? That’s the nub of it. I would like to be able to say “No, absolutely not. Don’t be ridiculous.” However, I still somehow believe it to be so, and a frightened little voice says “And, if it isn’t then what is?” Which brings me on to the implications.

I have been sitting with the implication of this sense of self being a sensation, and nothing more, which is that the whole idea I have of myself is just that, an idea, a fantasy, an illusion. I can let it some of the way in, maybe up to the threshold with the door at least partly opened, maybe half open. I need to be quite quiet to do this, when I get more busy with things I tend to forget.

Keith xx

Re: Pay Attention

Posted: Wed Jun 24, 2020 9:52 am
by s-p-a-c-e
Keith,

Thank you for that.

Each of us have our own distinct impression, understanding, of what a 'self' is, may be, with respect to ourselves.

So, when you consider self Keith in ordinary fashion, what immediately comes up for you - whether thoughts, feelings or anything else.

Best wishes,
John