Our approach is to accept the possibility that we bring forth a mood because it has something of value for us.
So were we to wish it away, we'd would miss the value, the gift. Whilst the wrapping is often unpleasant :) there is always a gift in there, when we approach it in a willing-to-discover something about myself kinda way.
I've been thinking about the whole LU guiding process & reading more of the LU book. I feel like I'm in unfamiliar territory with LU which surprises me cos I've been a dedicated spiritual seeker for about 40 years & thought nothing spiritual would feel unfamiliar or strange. I thought I'd seen or done or read about almost all of it. And yet LU seems quite unlike anything spiritual I've ever explored.
It's not that this disturbs me or worries me. It's more like I'm unsure which direction to go & what say in our dialogue. It feels like I need an instruction manual on how to do this process. It's similar to going to a counsellor or therapist where it's assumed the therapist will direct & control the session, by asking relevant questions etc. However, this guiding in LU is somehow different, perhaps because it's done via email.
So, I often feel like I don't clearly know what to write to you about. And when I write I often wonder if I've gone "off track" & am just waffling on.
I'm slowly reading the LU book, partly to give me more clarity about how to do this process. There's a lot of transcripts in the book from various persons who've completed the process. I feel reluctant to read these as I'm pretty sure each person has a uniquely different experience of being guided. And I'm pretty sure that reading the book is not a prerequisite for the guiding process or even recommended. In the same way, I know anyone can undertake the LU process without any previous spiritual knowledge or experience at all. Perhaps it's even an advantage to have no previous knowledge as that reduces all those wrong expectations. How strange!
There doesn't seem to be a map of how to navigate the process, other than relying on the guide to lead the way. It feels like I'm blindfolded & relying on you to lead me along. I suppose I'm used to always being self-reliant.
I've noticed that some of the lucky ones complete the process in just a few days while others take months. Of course, I want to get through it as quickly as I can, yet I know I cannot control how long it will take. Then I sometimes wonder if I will fail to get through the gateless gate & whether this happens to many people. This does create some fear.
I know very well that I've done a great many spiritual workshops, meditation retreats, seminars & read probably over 1000 spiritual books over the last 40 years. And for each one of these, it's always with the hope that my life will be transformed or at least vastly improved afterwards. But I also know that after these workshops, books etc there's often a sense of disappointment because something is still missing. And so the search continues, - wearily.
So, there is some fear that eventually (in weeks or months) I might look back on the LU experience with that same disappointment, & quietly admit to some people that the experience was a failure & not something I recommend. On the other hand, I'm willing to risk that.
On a more positive note, I have been feeling happier than usual - partly due to being inspired by the LU book. On the other hand, I know that every author of spiritual books presents their ideas & methods as being enormously promising & revolutionary, since both they & their publisher want to maximise the book's sales & success.
I suppose some people complete the LU process quickly because they put a lot of time & effort each day into the process & emailing their guide. So far, I haven't put a lot of time into it, but not because I'm too busy. It's more because I approach it with some caution, in case it proves at a later date to be disappointing.
One final rather bizarre thought: I sometimes wonder if I've already been through the gateless gate in the distant past - through fleeting awakening experiences such as occurred over 30 years ago. Perhaps I didn't really understand & appreciate those glimpses of awakening , or know how to allow them to bear fruit in a deeper & transformative way. But anyway, maybe I need to pass through the gate a few more times.
I apologise if I've waffled on too much today & gotten off track.