Request for Ilona's guidance

[Lubo]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
Everything is just a happening, for no one. Everything is one existence and there is no one and nothing separate from it. A separate self is just a story, which veild the reality. It's seems that it is there, but does not exist.

What are you looking for at LU?
I saw through the illusion of a separate self in nonduality forum an year ago and now just follow the impulse to help other to see this for themselves. I've participated in couple of meetings with Ilona and feel involved in the LU comunity.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I expect from a guided conversation help and assistance during the guiding process from the mentor. I would love to be able to offer this guidance in my own language. Thank you very much for this opportunity :-)

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
After some strong obsticals in my so called daily life I started searching and this search brought me to the books of E. Tolle, Nisargadatta, Ramana, Bhagavat Gitta many videos, satsangs... and 4 years later I landed in nonduality forum. But crashing the gate didn't vanish the old habbits, patterns, emotional triggers, doubts etc.. so the last year looking and investigating are very intensive and very often painfull. Last few months everything becomes more clear and peacefull.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?'
11

[Ilona]

Hi Lubo!
Lovely to see you here on the forum.
Can you share more please about what happened in the non duality forum, what was seen and how that seeing impacted your normal everyday life? What changed and what hasn’t?

Looking forward to read about it!

Love.

[Lubo]

Hi Ilona,

thank you for writing!

Can you share more please about what happened in the non duality forum. What was seen and how that seeing impacted your normal everyday life?
[

Reading this question, a story is coming about a strong men who was fighting with the world, who was controlling what should be happen and what shouldn't be happen. This man somehow started investigating in a nondual forum and the story about this man finished there. The question which killed that man was “What is real - this me or this, which is actually here”. In this very moment sounds, colours, movements, the whole life became stronger, brighter and extremely amazing. There is no man and there never was…This honeymoon finished a month later with strong doubts accompanied with a fear. The body was like battlefield. Contractions in the chest was changed with freezing fear. This was followed by a relax and then everything was coming again. Almost an year this deconstruction took place in me. Slowly , slowly the dust settle down.
Immense gratitude to you Ilona for the gatherings. They helped a lot.

What changed and what hasn’t?

Hm, everything is the same. Things come and go, the stories also come and go. They just don't stick.
There is much more joy and sweetness.
There is more amazement of how this life happen, regardless what happens or what the story is.

There are sounds, slow wind, thoughts, feelings, a bright light from the sun and a knowing about this. Knowing is not separate from this, knowing is just what is. Its impossible something to exist without a knowing and there is no knowing without an existence. I can name this Every day life. The character Lubo seemingly appears, I don't know how this happened, because for whom or for what this happen. It's a great joke. :-)

Thank you again Ilona,

waiting for your reply.

Lubo

[Ilona]

Wonderful, thank you for sharing!

We have some final questions, as you know. I invite you to answer them, as you see it now.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it ufully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this now? Please report from the past few days.

4) Can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control? What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

5) Anything to add?

Please answer in full, when ready.

Love!

[Lubo]

Hi Ilona.

here trey are:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No, there isn't an entity or something else separate from what is here. There no seer, no watcher, no hearer :).

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it ufully as you see it now.

The illusion of a separate self is just an experience of separation. In reality there is no one or nothing which lives under illusion or separation.
The separation is somehow happening like this:
The thoughts come and describe what is happening. They create a Me in the center of the story and explain that all this happens to Me.
The Me is just a story. There is no start or beginning. The story is like a wrong subtitles :)
The strange and funny thing is that In reality all this continue to happen, but for no one.

3) How does it feel to see this now? Please report from the past few days.

There is an amazement of the intelligence which create all of this. The amazement much more big than the thoughts, which explain what is happening in the background. A compare is coming - It's like someone explains Mona Lisa masterpiece with these words: old fashioned dressed lady with a strange smile.

4) Can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control? What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

All these are just experiences. All these are here but don't exist in reality.Yes there is an experience of choosing what word to use, but this is what is happening.There is no one here to be responsible for anything.

5) Anything to add?

There is a deep openness and new revelations are coming.

Much love
Lubo