Awareness

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Bananafish
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Re: Awareness

Postby Bananafish » Tue Jun 16, 2020 6:26 am

I know acceptance is key here.


Is this an idea? Do you really know what acceptance is?


But who is here to do the accepting? Who is acknowledging that acceptance needs to be made? And then I become still. And sometimes in that stillness, there are uncomfortable feelings and uncertainties, but the "me" part is getting more acquainted with passing through these feelings. Because I'm not taking them as personally anymore? Does that make sense?


It may; and aren't these all mere ideas?
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
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Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
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Caylirae
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Re: Awareness

Postby Caylirae » Tue Jun 16, 2020 1:16 pm

Yeah, all ideas. Just words.

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Bananafish
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Re: Awareness

Postby Bananafish » Tue Jun 16, 2020 10:57 pm

Ok, thanks. Let's focus on the "sense of self."
How is it felt? Anything new that is felt?
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
the date.
Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
Modern Koan Project: https://www.facebook.com/groups/628553401153461

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Caylirae
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Re: Awareness

Postby Caylirae » Wed Jun 17, 2020 2:01 am

Well, lately I've come to understand that I don't understand the self. I also know there is nothing or no one to understand. So, I get confused and a bit frustrated at times, during inquiry. Sometimes I do breakdown. Other times I feel expansive and empty.

When I inquire, I do feel and sense something in my heart area and sometimes my gut. These come with the questions of inquiring. It may be fear or anxiety. The sense of self is felt to be there, and I look and I look. Not really expecting anything to happen but to just be in the experience of looking.

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Caylirae
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Re: Awareness

Postby Caylirae » Wed Jun 17, 2020 2:10 am

It's not really felt to be there, it's more of a thought or a belief that it is there.

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Bananafish
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Re: Awareness

Postby Bananafish » Wed Jun 17, 2020 2:23 am

It's not really felt to be there, it's more of a thought or a belief that it is there.

Are you really sure about this, or are you thinking that it should be a belief? (which is another
belief going on)
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
the date.
Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
Modern Koan Project: https://www.facebook.com/groups/628553401153461

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Caylirae
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Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 4:39 am

Re: Awareness

Postby Caylirae » Wed Jun 17, 2020 2:40 am


It's not really felt to be there, it's more of a thought or a belief that it is there.

Are you really sure about this, or are you thinking that it should be a belief? (which is another
belief going on)
I'm thinking that it should be there, and no I am not really sure about this. And now I'm laughing.

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Bananafish
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Re: Awareness

Postby Bananafish » Thu Jun 18, 2020 7:09 am

It's always good to laugh, isn't it? :)

Please go on with inquiring the "sense of self." What is noticed?
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
the date.
Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
Modern Koan Project: https://www.facebook.com/groups/628553401153461

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Caylirae
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Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 4:39 am

Re: Awareness

Postby Caylirae » Fri Jun 19, 2020 3:51 am

When I inquire, I notice a stillness. I feel calm and present. I look for a "me." I don't find anything or anyone there. Other times, I feel like it's just all in my head, this "me." Like it is some concrete physical thing, like my whole brain is what I identify to be me. Brain=me. But I'm just a culmination of ideas and beliefs and a body. It is so crazy to me, but in a good way.

I have been questioning all of my thoughts. I have been questioning all of my beliefs. It is starting to get to a point where almost everything I think ends in a question mark. Then, I notice sensations in my heart and gut. It feels like some resistance in the mind and body.

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Bananafish
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Re: Awareness

Postby Bananafish » Sun Jun 21, 2020 3:16 am

Then, I notice sensations in my heart and gut. It feels like some resistance in the mind and body.

What kind of sensations are they?
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
the date.
Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
Modern Koan Project: https://www.facebook.com/groups/628553401153461

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Caylirae
Posts: 70
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 4:39 am

Re: Awareness

Postby Caylirae » Sun Jun 21, 2020 4:19 am

Then, I notice sensations in my heart and gut. It feels like some resistance in the mind and body.

What kind of sensations are they?
They are like a tightening or a little fluttering.

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Bananafish
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Re: Awareness

Postby Bananafish » Sun Jun 21, 2020 1:27 pm

Please notice that sensation; notice it without trying to notice;
but don't try not to notice it.

And when it is noticed, just let the noticing be there; without
trying to sustain or trying to notice the noticing.
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
the date.
Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
Modern Koan Project: https://www.facebook.com/groups/628553401153461

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Caylirae
Posts: 70
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 4:39 am

Re: Awareness

Postby Caylirae » Mon Jun 22, 2020 4:13 pm

Please notice that sensation; notice it without trying to notice;
but don't try not to notice it.

And when it is noticed, just let the noticing be there; without
trying to sustain or trying to notice the noticing.
Ok. What's felt is just the sensations moving through me like small waves.

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Bananafish
Posts: 3617
Joined: Mon Dec 08, 2014 3:29 pm
Location: Japan
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Re: Awareness

Postby Bananafish » Tue Jun 23, 2020 6:43 am

Thanks. :) Please keep on doing it, and please report what is
noticed.
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
the date.
Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
Modern Koan Project: https://www.facebook.com/groups/628553401153461

User avatar
Caylirae
Posts: 70
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 4:39 am

Re: Awareness

Postby Caylirae » Wed Jun 24, 2020 5:52 am

Thanks. :) Please keep on doing it, and please report what is
noticed.
Ok. Sometimes I notice the rapid disappearance of sensations once I move my attention to my body.

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