Freedom to be!

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Ilona
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Re: Freedom to be!

Postby Ilona » Wed May 20, 2020 8:51 am

Hi Eric,
How is it going? Are you still here?

Sending love.

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Eric001
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Re: Freedom to be!

Postby Eric001 » Wed May 20, 2020 3:49 pm

Dear Ilona,

sorry for disappearing from this inquiry for some time. And thank you so much for being so caring and checking-in with me. I was somewhat lost for a while, but now I feel better and more stable again. Less dissociated now.Before it was getting quite bad in the sense that I was so overwhelmed by the negative emotional loop that I subconsciously used the approach in this inquiry to disassociated from reality/"what is" both emotionally and mentally which was not healthy, and only led to deeper delusion and sense of separation.

The last 9 days I've been attending an excellent Chi Gong training held by my Shaolin master, practicing deep sessions for 4-6 hours per day. This has been most helpful in stabilising my mind and body.

Love form Thailand!
<3 /e

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Ilona
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Re: Freedom to be!

Postby Ilona » Thu May 21, 2020 7:35 am

Wow, that’s amazing! Isn’t that wonderful that you got this teacher right when you needed him and you have a perfect tool to stabilise.

Is there anything else you want to explore here? Have your questions been answered?
We can continue, when you are willing to do that.

Love.

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Eric001
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Re: Freedom to be!

Postby Eric001 » Fri May 22, 2020 5:53 am

Dear Ilona,

thank you for being willing to continue supporting. <3

As I still can not see any deep recognition having taken place (at least not one that that leaves me without any doubt about the selfless nature of reality), I suppose there is more to be explored. However, I'm not sure I'm willing to accept such a one-sided Truth. In my experience this reality is vastly much more complex and beautiful to just allow for a single ultimate Truth. Personally I'm strongly aligned with the linages of the Extatics which recognise the ultimate Truth of the "divine" Loving glory of the Source of Reality, and the potential to melt into that loving embrace and have all personal aspects melt away.

Personally I feel a strong need to be very careful and loving towards the character Eric (fictional or not) since I'm stuck with that personality (and psychological structures which seems easily destabilised to unhealthy degrees) for now and still more or less fully identified with that sense of self. I feel it would be unhealthy to pretend that I realise the truth that there is no self, since that simply is not my foundational experience of everyday life. It just seems delusional to live from a mental recognition that is not embodied at all on any other level than temporarily in the conscious mind. Please correct me if I'm mistaken.

LOVE!
<3 /e

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Ilona
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Re: Freedom to be!

Postby Ilona » Fri May 22, 2020 6:44 am

I completely agree with you, that pretending is not helpful at all. This investigation requires full honesty and seeing what is as it is, not pretending and lying to yourself about what is seen.

This seeing does not deny or erase Eric. It does not deny character, or makes illusions disappear. Nothing disappears. We are looking at the nature of what is, at the nature of Eric and yes, love, acceptance, kindness Is the only way.

It seems that you are misunderstanding what no self is pointing to.
No self in other words is that everything that shows up is a happening, not a doing. No self means there is no separate self as it was thought to be. It points to the ultimate reality, as you say divine source of reality behind all the appearances.

Putting it in a metaphor: if you identify yourself with a wave in the ocean and are looking for water it takes a realisation, a noticing, that you are already that, all is water. That does not mean that the wave disappears. The wave is water and always been water. Seeing that, you can see both the form (wave) and the essence (water). You can see both Eric and beingness.

The mind is creating complexity and is trying to understand what is. This investigation goes beyond mind, as mind is an object too, arising in the ocean of beingness. And it is beingness just like a wave is water.

So this inquiry is looking at what is real (being) and realising that there is nothing separate from that. It’s one life appearing as many forms. Including Eric, including thoughts, feelings, sensations, colours, sounds etc. I. Not sure what you mean by selflessness, what I mean is that there is no self that is separate from the whole.

Hope this makes it a little bit clearer for you.
And you don’t have to continue this conversation now. Trust your inner guidance it will lead you home.

Love.


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