I am not sure exactly how to, unless it comes again in the way it did yesterday, but I am open to it. Do you suggest any questions?
When there is sadness, fear or resistance, then there is a belief, a story somewhere about pain or negative consequences to seeing the illusion of the self. Or in case of sadness, a story about something being lost. And the fear/sadness tries to protect you from these supposed negative consequences.
If this sadness comes up again, you can investigate it, just as you would do with fear (what I posted before). You can examine it closely. Feeling it. Not try to fix it or solve it, just sitting with it.
You can as the sadness as if it were a some kind of entity:
What do you want to protect me from?
What is the ‘negative’ story, what would happen if the illusion of the self is seen through?
What would be lost?
And it seems that you’ve already answered some of those questions:
I recognized how the questions that have been in me, actually have to meaning or truth in them when I follow them; such as "if I give up a self, then how do i live?" --
So the belief here is that now you have a self, and this self can be given up, it can be eradicated, and you will live on without a self. But this is cannot be further from the truth.
There is ALREADY no self and has never been.
But the illusion of the self has been played out all along.
So when the self is seen through, it doesn’t mean that the self-illusion will stop. It won’t.
The self illusion will still arise, but it can be seen for what it is, just an illusion and not an actual reality.
The self is already not there. Seeing through the self is just the experiential RECOGNITION that there is no self.
Since no self being removed, kill, annihilated, transformed, etc. therefore NOTHING changes IN EXPERIENCE.
The only thing that changes is RECOGNINTION of no-self. This is the shift.
The recognition that there has never been a self there is the shift.
It’s the seeing that there is nothing moving the body, nothing making decisions, nothing thinking thoughts, nothing making sounds coming out of the body in form of speech. Rather there is just the body functioning by itself, thoughts about decision arise, sounds coming out of the body as words. And there is no self in other bodies either.
But this ALREADY IS. This has never been any other way. When this is recognized nothing changes, only the knowing of it. Only just the belief in self is changed. Since this belief is seen untrue. That’s all.
So you might have been expecting something much more than what it is, and thus created a sense of loss, to live without a self. But that’s not possible. Since the one who would live without the self, IS the illusionary self. There is nothing living with or without a self.
The one that is concerned what life would be without the self, is the imaginary self itself. :)
Please read my above comments a few times, to see if there is any resistance to any of it.
Do you feel ready to continue with this investigation?