I don’t seem to be able to get to real absolute direct experience. Subtle proliferation is still noticed that is causing this feeling of center or I. E.g sound is heard in here (direct), but immediately the mind is aware of it’s direction (non direct judgement) relative to this body out there.Really? I know this is what we are brought up to believe but.....Is it what you find in DE?
There doesn’t seem to be any space or time between the two to interrupt it. What is the solution, more practice? Or am I missing something obvious?
In absolute pure experience, no. In absolute pure experience, which I can’t seem to get into except for extremely rare moments, everything happens inside, therefore no other exists and and no I is possible.But can you find the 'I' that is doing it?
When the attention is directed inward as described, silence is experienced, a vibration there is no self, but also no experience apart from this knowing of nothingness. However as a soon as attention is directed at anything else, an I comes into being.If I close my eyes, just be, and direct attention within the head (where you believe your self is) all that is experienced is a sense of vibrancy and knowingness. There doesn't seem to be an entity that could be called a self.
Take your time, relax into your direct experience. What is present?