Is recognising that Consciousness is not personal the same as seeing through self-view?

[LoveMandala]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
In meditative enquiry, I recognise, that the experience of embodied Consciousness that we take to be a self, is not in fact the self that we take it to be. I believe however that the impersonal field of Consciousness - that which we erroneously take to be the source of a self - is a profound absolute reality, the most fundamental reality of all.

What are you looking for at LU?
I have a daily meditation practice - a form of 'just sitting' - and I recognise, during meditation, that there is no self. In daily life however, I do appear to have a self. The phenomena that I recognise in meditation to be 'empty' of self always seem to assemble themselves into the appearance of a self - and that self has a history and responsibilities, relationships, skills, deficits, obligations, and choices. All of these features of an apparent self, have however, become mutable. I now have a degree of freedom in all of them, which I did not previously have. Even my personal history has changed radically as I release and re-frame the stories by which I have thought about myself. Even something as concrete as the experience of being dyslexic and having ADD has changed fundamentally. Through my meditation practice I seem to shed the energetic momentum of the habit of living from an apparent self, so I find myself living very contentedly and finding it easy to be warmly present with the people in my life. I still notice the vestiges of old defences, and traumas and identifications, but they appear to be gradually releasing. I have been strongly encouraged to register by friends who have done the LU process. I am also very keen to experience being guided, so that I could perhaps become a facilitator of others in the same process.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
While I have read the dialogues, I do not have any particular expectations of how the process will go for me. I am happy to be guided, and to see where the process takes us. I am 61 years-old, and while that may be irrelevant, part of me is hoping that a guide may be available who is fairly close to me age.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I was very actively involved in the Friends of the Western Buddhist Order (which was renamed the Triratna Buddhist Order) for most my twenties - and was a keen student of Carl Jung. I was a Quaker for ten years in my thirties, and a keen student of Eugene Gendlin's 'Focusing' practice. I have studied with several Advaita teachers. While I have favorites (e.g. Rupert Spira, Paul Hedderman, 'Sailor' Bob Adamson, and Douglas Harding), I do follow a particular guru. I have recently returned to my passionate interest in Buddhist tradition after a thirty-year break - and have enjoyed connecting with some members of the Triratna Buddhist Order community (and ex-members of that Order). I love the spirit of Zen, and of Mahayana Buddhism, and I find that the imagery of the Five Buddha mandalas speaks to my experience. I would characterise the practice that I now do daily as 'Resting as Consciousness'. It draws on the early Buddhist framework of the brahmaviharas, and the Mahayana notion of the Five Wisdoms.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
10

[StaffordJR]

Hi LoveMandala my name is Stafford & I'll Be 52 in May & if That's close enough in age for You, Totally understandable by the way. I would Love to Guide You & is LoveMandala what You prefer to be called ???
I prefer too guide in Direct Experience what's Actually Happening !!! This isn't understood Intellectually or Conceptually !!! This can only be Seen so if You're ready & ok with me as a Guide we can start any time ?!?
I work weird hours so I like to post between 11:30Pm & 3am sometimes earlier every day if Possible, because life Happens & if We can't post that day or so We'll let each other know.
I live in Northern Oregon Pacific time if that helps ?!? Please feel free to post anytime every day unless something comes up of course !!! So if You're Ok with all this Please let me know & We'll get Started !?! Sending Peace Love Life & Laughter Yours Truly Stafford


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[LoveMandala]

Hi Stafford,

Thanks for your message. I would love to explore this process with you. I live on the east coast of Australia at Brunswick Heads, which is just north of Byron Bay. I am in the state of New South Wales, which is the Sydney time zone. So you are 6 hours ahead of us currently. That should work well. If you are often up late over on the west coast of the US, we may be able to do live chats in my evenings. It will also be alright if that is not possible, but I am guessing that that would be best.

Would you like to start us off?

Kind regards,

Will

(Yes. I would be happy to use Will.)

[StaffordJR]

Hi Will,


It's Very nice to meet You Will & it's an Honor & Pleasure to Be Here with You on This Mysterious Journey !!! I would Love to Video chat, however my Lovely Wife barely puts up with me with This at all !?! She witnessed my Initial awakening before LU & it Terrified Her !!! She tries to understand i'm helping others so I try & keep as uneventful as Possible !!! Hope This is ok for You & if not I'm sure something can be Worked out !!!

Ok to start out with & Please don't underestimate The Simplicity ! ¡ !
What Effort does IT take Too Be,
Good Bad or Indifferent ??? Ok my Friend while contemplating This Look & See how The Senses Sound Sight Touch Breathing & even Thinking Run Effortless !?!
I'm going to leave You with This my Friend & Please Whatever comes up don't hesitate to ask for Clarification no problems !!!
Sending Peace Love Life & Laughter Yours Truly Stafford

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[LoveMandala]

Hi Stafford,

Please don't underestimate The Simplicity ! ¡ !
What Effort does IT take Too Be,
Good Bad or Indifferent ??? Ok my Friend while contemplating This Look & See how The Senses Sound Sight Touch Breathing & even Thinking Run Effortless !?!

Yes. This being, this resting, this effortless experiencing of what is here right now is wonderfully simple - but very profound. To allow 'what is' to be - just as it is. It is great to be reminded. I am aware that I have been taught to do the opposite all my life, and the habit runs deep - the habit of complicating things with unnecessary thinking. Defending against some fear, I guess - or is it just habit?

Yes. Just being. Returning to mental quiet. Noticing the habit of evaluation releasing. Returning to stillness, and being warmly present with sensations, with experience - good, bad or indifferent. Noticing the effortlessness of the experiencing. Sight, sound, touch, breath, thinking - all running effortlessly. It is indeed simple. It is precious to be reminded of that which we overlook - but which is actually the foundation of everything.

This is very helpful. I will try to stay with it till I hear from you again. I would love to video chat also. I am familiar with Zoom. I am a Mac user, so could also do FaceTime if that suits. I am also trying not to take too much time away from my home life though. My partner needs a lot of support at particular times of the day. We look after her mum who is 92 and has Parkinsons.

Much love,

Will

[StaffordJR]

Hi Stafford,

Please don't underestimate The Simplicity ! ¡ !
What Effort does IT take Too Be,
Good Bad or Indifferent ??? Ok my Friend while contemplating This Look & See how The Senses Sound Sight Touch Breathing & even Thinking Run Effortless !?!

Yes. This being, this resting, this effortless experiencing of what is here right now is wonderfully simple - but very profound. To allow 'what is' to be - just as it is. It is great to be reminded. I am aware that I have been taught to do the opposite all my life, and the habit runs deep - the habit of complicating things with unnecessary thinking. Defending against some fear, I guess - or is it just habit?

Yes. Just being. Returning to mental quiet. Noticing the habit of evaluation releasing. Returning to stillness, and being warmly present with sensations, with experience - good, bad or indifferent. Noticing the effortlessness of the experiencing. Sight, sound, touch, breath, thinking - all running effortlessly. It is indeed simple. It is precious to be reminded of that which we overlook - but which is actually the foundation of everything.

This is very helpful. I will try to stay with it till I hear from you again. I would love to video chat also. I am familiar with Zoom. I am a Mac user, so could also do FaceTime if that suits. I am also trying not to take too much time away from my home life though. My partner needs a lot of support at particular times of the day. We look after her mum who is 92 and has Parkinsons.

Much love,

Will

Hi Will & Wonderful Work my Friend & Yes just Habit DNA Genetics & Environment & Not Even that !!! ¿¿¿
No Words can Ever Touch This !!!
Not in Concepts.
Brake Down a Word & find out is The Word Ever the Thing We're talking About & See,
IT'S Always About or Like This or That Never the Actual Event Experience or so called Things or Thoughts ?!?
Ok the reason i'm taking You this wrought is too bring You Too The Event Horizon or The Here Now What's Actually Happening The Gate whatever name We put on IT Lol !!! We can say Everything & Anything about Trying to Stay with This, However Too See IT Happening on IT'S Own & Creating a You in Each Moment is Beyond Words !!!
So my Friend when Everything That makes us Who We are, Breath Sight Sound Touch & Thinking IS Happening in its own Accord/ Agency. Who would Be Home Too Do What ??? Please Look & See When Your Doing & Trying or is it a after thought after the Event or can it Even be Located in Time, if that makes sense ???
Ok Will i'm stopping here & let You Contemplate This !!! I Totally understand about Your Family Time & Your Partners needs & Mum !!! Totally Sending Love & Prayers for You & Your Loved Ones

I might have some time for a video chat, Facetime probably would Be fine. I only use a smartphone but it has everything so on Saturday or Sunday, not sure though i definitely got find out what my Wife has Planned Lol I'll let You know Tomorrow if I can Video chat this Weekend ?!?
I do Hope This is Helpful & You Do Seem Too See what I'm pointing out !?! Thanks for You Patience Kindness & Sending Peace Love Life & Laughter Yours Truly Stafford


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[LoveMandala]

Hi Stafford,

We can say Everything & Anything about Trying to Stay with This, However Too See IT Happening on IT'S Own & Creating a You in Each Moment is Beyond Words !!!
So my Friend when Everything That makes us Who We are, Breath Sight Sound Touch & Thinking IS Happening in its own Accord/ Agency. Who would Be Home Too Do What ??? Please Look & See When Your Doing & Trying or is it a after thought after the Event or can it Even be Located in Time, if that makes sense ???
Ok Will i'm stopping here & let You Contemplate This !!!

Thank you. Yes. Everything is happening on its own. That is such a helpful pointer. Please excuse my conceptualisation - or attempts at conceptualising what cannot ever, ultimately be described. That impulse to 'know' and describe is very strong in me. It makes me bounce back out of the spaciousness of the 'not knowing' place.

I recognise that the apparent agent; the apparent will; the apparent 'doing', is indeed only one of the data-streams that come together to create an illusion of self - but do I know it deeply, in every moment? To truly know that 'Everything is happening on its own' would be to flow along in life, trusting the benevolent forces that work through us - the non-personal compassionate responding that manages the challenges of our lives.

As I sit and type, there are various needs, motivations, reactive or creative impulses, volitional energies, (sanskaras as the Buddhist tradition would say). I can see that none of them are personal, but I can also see the momentum of my habit of assuming that there is a single doer - a person acting, an agent. To fully know the Egoic Will to be an illusion, is to break the habit of a lifetime - the un-thought-through conviction that personal effort is the key to happiness and absolutely necessary at all times. But as you point out: 'Everything is happening on its own'.

The thought comes "My life has been such a struggle. It has required so much effort." By which I suppose I mean that I have participated in an enormous amount of stress and strain within myself as I have wrestled with fears, difficulties, and conflicting needs. Currents of volitional energy in me have been in conflict, and I have identified with different energies at different times. I did not know to dis-identify and allow everything - to recognise that 'Everything is happening on its own'.

My Buddhist spiritual teachers reinforced that belief in the Egoic Will very strongly - it was incorrect teaching. It compounded an already existing habit of mind. It was 'heroic', but it was an unconscious ego-building process. It set me up for decades of struggle - a cycle of egoic effort and egoic failure. A drama in which there was always an isolated, separate 'me' in the centre - the illusion of self 'trying', 'succeeding', and 'failing'. There is grief that comes - a necessary grief, I think. This is very big for me. The fear and need to 'know' and to protect myself from danger by being the agent 'in control' is very strong. That part has learned to be distrustful - has experienced the world as a battle of wills, and a very harsh place.

Thankfully the worst manifestations of that way of being are releasing. But a vestige remains - a pattern of contraction in the heart; an habitual lack of trust; a residual fear; the not-wanting energy of old traumas seemingly held in the field of the body. If I could trust and allow the reality that 'Everything is happening on its own', I could allow all conflicts to resolve - to find their own reconciliation. How wonderful it would be to release the idea that an 'I' is necessary, because 'I' have to do everything. How wonderful to just 'be in the flow', just noticing the non-personal impulses arising and finding expression.

It is indeed extremely remarkable that all of our actions, in this complex human world, do in reality, arise without the agency of any person. All of it is driven by compassionate impulses - attempts to meet needs distorted by self-view. Despite appearances, there is, in reality 'Nobody Home' - the Consciousness is not personal but universal. It would seem that self-view itself is a coping strategy - perhaps the foundational coping strategy - a dysfunctional way of making sense of, and attempting to manage, life's challenges. This so big. I will continue to be with this, or not, until you get back to me. I will try not to try - but I notice the intention is there is this moment, and trust that this non-personal impulse to enquire will be there in the midst of my activities.

A FaceTime would be great, but only if it is easy for you. I get it that there are beautiful impersonal forces at work in our relationships that need to honoured, responded to, and given priority, especially at the weekend. Let's see how we go. I am not that familiar with FaceTime, but have it on my phone and computer. My phone number is +61411583374. I am also on WhatsApp at that number, and find that very good for international messages to schedule appointments - and for any brief check-ins, and last minute changes to arrangements that may arise. Could also be good for messaging if a window of time was to arise for you that you had not anticipated.

Much love,

Will

[StaffordJR]

Hi Stafford,

We can say Everything & Anything about Trying to Stay with This, However Too See IT Happening on IT'S Own & Creating a You in Each Moment is Beyond Words !!!
So my Friend when Everything That makes us Who We are, Breath Sight Sound Touch & Thinking IS Happening in its own Accord/ Agency. Who would Be Home Too Do What ??? Please Look & See When Your Doing & Trying or is it a after thought after the Event or can it Even be Located in Time, if that makes sense ???
Ok Will i'm stopping here & let You Contemplate This !!!

Thank you. Yes. Everything is happening on its own. That is such a helpful pointer. Please excuse my conceptualisation - or attempts at conceptualising what cannot ever, ultimately be described. That impulse to 'know' and describe is very strong in me. It makes me bounce back out of the spaciousness of the 'not knowing' place.

I recognise that the apparent agent; the apparent will; the apparent 'doing', is indeed only one of the data-streams that come together to create an illusion of self - but do I know it deeply, in every moment? To truly know that 'Everything is happening on its own' would be to flow along in life, trusting the benevolent forces that work through us - the non-personal compassionate responding that manages the challenges of our lives.

As I sit and type, there are various needs, motivations, reactive or creative impulses, volitional energies, (sanskaras as the Buddhist tradition would say). I can see that none of them are personal, but I can also see the momentum of my habit of assuming that there is a single doer - a person acting, an agent. To fully know the Egoic Will to be an illusion, is to break the habit of a lifetime - the un-thought-through conviction that personal effort is the key to happiness and absolutely necessary at all times. But as you point out: 'Everything is happening on its own'.

The thought comes "My life has been such a struggle. It has required so much effort." By which I suppose I mean that I have participated in an enormous amount of stress and strain within myself as I have wrestled with fears, difficulties, and conflicting needs. Currents of volitional energy in me have been in conflict, and I have identified with different energies at different times. I did not know to dis-identify and allow everything - to recognise that 'Everything is happening on its own'.

My Buddhist spiritual teachers reinforced that belief in the Egoic Will very strongly - it was incorrect teaching. It compounded an already existing habit of mind. It was 'heroic', but it was an unconscious ego-building process. It set me up for decades of struggle - a cycle of egoic effort and egoic failure. A drama in which there was always an isolated, separate 'me' in the centre - the illusion of self 'trying', 'succeeding', and 'failing'. There is grief that comes - a necessary grief, I think. This is very big for me. The fear and need to 'know' and to protect myself from danger by being the agent 'in control' is very strong. That part has learned to be distrustful - has experienced the world as a battle of wills, and a very harsh place.

Thankfully the worst manifestations of that way of being are releasing. But a vestige remains - a pattern of contraction in the heart; an habitual lack of trust; a residual fear; the not-wanting energy of old traumas seemingly held in the field of the body. If I could trust and allow the reality that 'Everything is happening on its own', I could allow all conflicts to resolve - to find their own reconciliation. How wonderful it would be to release the idea that an 'I' is necessary, because 'I' have to do everything. How wonderful to just 'be in the flow', just noticing the non-personal impulses arising and finding expression.

It is indeed extremely remarkable that all of our actions, in this complex human world, do in reality, arise without the agency of any person. All of it is driven by compassionate impulses - attempts to meet needs distorted by self-view. Despite appearances, there is, in reality 'Nobody Home' - the Consciousness is not personal but universal. It would seem that self-view itself is a coping strategy - perhaps the foundational coping strategy - a dysfunctional way of making sense of, and attempting to manage, life's challenges. This so big. I will continue to be with this, or not, until you get back to me. I will try not to try - but I notice the intention is there is this moment, and trust that this non-personal impulse to enquire will be there in the midst of my activities.

A FaceTime would be great, but only if it is easy for you. I get it that there are beautiful impersonal forces at work in our relationships that need to honoured, responded to, and given priority, especially at the weekend. Let's see how we go. I am not that familiar with FaceTime, but have it on my phone and computer. My phone number is +61411583374. I am also on WhatsApp at that number, and find that very good for international messages to schedule appointments - and for any brief check-ins, and last minute changes to arrangements that may arise. Could also be good for messaging if a window of time was to arise for you that you had not anticipated.

Much love,

Will

Beautiful my Dear Brother in This Illusion !!! Now notice This IS ALL included & Not Separated from Clarity !!!
Will my Dear Friend I Totally get what You've Been Through & Well I'm putting it Like This even Though This isn't even True...??? (Truth IS Blind & Deaf ) Lol a Little Tired tonight forgive me but here goes!!!

We The Intelligent Void Projects a Mysterious Happening through an Image ( i ) which imagines itself in a Life full of Lies Identity Stress Misery & Things to Do, which is Imaginary - image only Not True, Intelligence Sees through the Images into The Void Itself Right Where =( We/Here - W.here ) IT Started ;~} =_= {~;
Ok my Friend I'm a Little tired so I'm going to leave You with my Little Story. Hope it has a silent ring for You !!!
I download WhatsApp & I'm going too message You Now & make sure We're connected & maybe some time Later We can Chat. Sending much Love Stafford

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[StaffordJR]

(""""That impulse to 'know' and describe is very strong in me. It makes me bounce back out of the spaciousness of the 'not knowing' place."""")

Hi Will,
I just wanted to add, know matter if We're Clear or Bouncing out of Spaciousness of Knowing & Not Knowing, There's Never Any Separation From T.H.IS ( To Here IS ) We're Always & Forever The I.nfinite I.nspirational I.ntelligent Mysterious i Before All Experiences !!!
Have to go for Now talk again tonight

Much Love Stafford



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[LoveMandala]

Hi Stafford,

Now notice This IS ALL included & Not Separated from Clarity !!!

Thank you again. That is a wonderful pointer.

For years I was taught to think in terms of a developmental journey where clarity is a long way off. In a future life perhaps. But the clarity of Consciousness is actually right here. How could it be otherwise - if this clarity exists anywhere or at any time then it has to exist right here right now. And when we look, it is never not there.

Once again this is big for me - it seems like a stretch. The habit of splitting clarity off, projecting it on to others, or onto a future time, is deep rooted. I know at some level, that there is mysterious field of intelligence that pervades the universe, be I have been taught to exclude myself from that - how crazy is that. Part of me is saying 'How could clarity be found in that 'empty', not knowing, spaciousness' - but it is. Indeed that is precisely where clarity is to be found - in that recognition that Consciousness is beyond all conditions - and has always been here and always will be here. Indeed it is a ever present inspirational intelligence - a clarity. And presumably, if we rest as that, we begin to embody that, express that - that inspiration and intelligence.

I had a funny old day. There is a lot in this for me. I will keep on enquiring, and write some more tomorrow.

Much love,

Will

[LoveMandala]

Hi Stafford,

know matter if We're Clear or Bouncing out of Spaciousness of Knowing & Not Knowing, There's Never Any Separation From T.H.IS ( To Here IS ) We're Always & Forever The I.nfinite I.nspirational I.ntelligent Mysterious i Before All Experiences !!!

That is such a comforting thought, and feels so true. As soon as I look the place of peace and clarity is there - it was always there. And the 'I' that was 'distracted', is not separate from the impersonal self-knowing space of the peace and clarity.

I have been trying to notice what makes me 'bounce out' though. There is an old residue of vulnerability that for me has got associated with the spaciousness and not knowing, but when I try to sense it clearly, it self-releases - so there is actually nothing to fear in the mystery. Where previously there was fear, it seems that both the vulnerability and that which was feared are no longer to be found.

Much love,

Will

[StaffordJR]

Hi Stafford,

know matter if We're Clear or Bouncing out of Spaciousness of Knowing & Not Knowing, There's Never Any Separation From T.H.IS ( To Here IS ) We're Always & Forever The I.nfinite I.nspirational I.ntelligent Mysterious i Before All Experiences !!!

That is such a comforting thought, and feels so true. As soon as I look the place of peace and clarity is there - it was always there. And the 'I' that was 'distracted', is not separate from the impersonal self-knowing space of the peace and clarity.

I have been trying to notice what makes me 'bounce out' though. There is an old residue of vulnerability that for me has got associated with the spaciousness and not knowing, but when I try to sense it clearly, it self-releases - so there is actually nothing to fear in the mystery. Where previously there was fear, it seems that both the vulnerability and that which was feared are no longer to be found.

Much love,

Will

Yes Yes Yes Will Exactly & Beautiful !!! Everything Always self releases Morphs changes in This Mysterious Reality, never the same. However never separate from I, Intelligence, Clarity, Awareness, Consciousness, Omnipresent. Whatever name We put on IT !!!/??? Great Work !!! Now could there Be a Separate I Doing anything ??? Take Your time & notice all the Spontaneous Experiences Happening All Around & Drop Any & All Opinions & or Concepts ;~} =_= {~;
Ok my Friend Let me know how This Feels & We'll talk soon !!! /???
Always Sending Peace Love Life & Laughter Yours Truly Stafford


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[LoveMandala]

Thanks Stafford,

Everything Always self releases Morphs changes in This Mysterious Reality, never the same. However never separate from I, Intelligence, Clarity, Awareness, Consciousness, Omnipresent. Whatever name We put on IT !!!/??? Great Work !!! How could there Be a Separate I Doing anything ??? Take Your time & notice all the Spontaneous Experiences Happening All Around & Drop Any & All Opinions & or Concepts ;~} =_= {~;

Yes. I used to experience a frustrating and pervasive sense of stuckness. There was a sense that I have a 'personalty' - a self with fixed characteristics. By starting to recognise that self-view is an illusion, I appear to be being released into a way of being in which nothing is fixed any more. What was previously perceived as stuck, is now perceived as an open-ended, indefinable and impersonal phenomena - which shifts, adapts, changes, and evolves, and is creatively responding to needs. It has been wonderfully freeing to recognise that 'my' motivations, and all the other forces that shape my world, are not in fact personal, but universal.

What I took to be a self is just the phenomena of experiencing. It is now becoming clear that this complex multidimensional and multisensory experiencing leads to the presumption of a self - where no such self actually exists. The experiencing does not actually require a self. Indeed the self-construct appears to be a major obstacle to a fully comprehensive flow of experiencing; to a sense of wholeness; and to the recognition that the process of experiencing is animated by benevolent transpersonal forces.

This sense of the benevolent, compassionate, and beneficial nature of the forces that animate my life, and animate the people in my life, has been emerging strongly for me today. This sense that all the life energies are in some way beneficial, seems very important. Deeper enquiry reveals that there are no good 'motivations' and 'bad' motivations within myself - that all are in fact beneficial. This together with a release of the reactive habits of identification and personalisation, seems to be a key - a key to new creative tendency, in which patterns that were perceived as 'conflicts' seem to spontaneously reconcile and self-release.

In the midst of the practical tasks of my home life with my partner and her mum, I repeatedly find myself appreciating and savouring the sense that our activities are not arising from any personal will, but out of the mysterious 'play' of benevolent forces that appear to be conspiring the bring fulfilment into our lives, and supporting us to be creative and effective. There is more lightness coming in - a quality of ease that runs counter to our previous habit of tending to struggle and stress in the face of challenges.

Thanks again, mate. Have a great day. And thanks for the sending that bright, free, colourful design. It makes a really great icon/avatar image. And I think it is teaching me something about letting go into the creative flow of life. Learning to recognise presence and connection in midst of the non-rational and chaotic even. Learning to trust the not-knowing, and allowing things to happen on their own.

Much love,

Will

[LoveMandala]

Hi Stafford,

I am noticing that a defaulting back into separation and self-view happens in relation to reflections on the past. My stories and habitual narratives are feeling so profoundly untrue. They just do not describe reality. They are not even just a superficial description of reality - rather they are a fundamental distortion; they turn everything completely upside down. The distortion that the mind creates when it gets involved in historical narratives is so profound as to be deeply unhelpful and best avoided where possible, I suppose.

About a week ago I connected via FaceBook with a friend that I have not seen since the late 80s - more than 30 years. We were both involved in a community within the Friends of the Western Buddhist Order together. I was keen to reconnect, and wrote a bit of a catch-up email, but ended up feeling the seeming impossibility of talking about my life - or at least the difficulty of talking about my life without tending to affirm a limiting self-view.

I wonder if you have found this? It is something we have to hold lightly, I guess. Perhaps we will always have to live with two perspectives running concurrently. The absolute perspective of resting as the unconditioned "Intelligence, Clarity, Awareness, Consciousness, Omnipresent" etc.; and the relative perspective in which we talk about "I", "me", and "mine" etc. Sometimes, the avoidance those words can be such an ego-trip in itself - so I guess we just carry on using them, but with an awareness of their limitations; and awareness, in fact, that what they refer to is illusory. The conditioned life is always with us. Perhaps we just have to hold the incongruity and remember that that all words and concepts are inherently unable to describe reality.

All this is really helpful for me. I am over identified with the intellect and it often leads me astray. I use my thinking mind to 'hold it together', and maintain control - I 'go into my head'. That's why I especially value the way you challenge me to let go of that - and allow the not-knowing, the spontaneous, the flow of life, the mystery.

Much love,

Will

[StaffordJR]

Wonderful Work Will & Yes i Totally Go back & forth Personal /Non personal !!! ¿¿¿ This IS Always Seen, Knowing Not Knowing, Mystery/Mystory ?!? /!?! Daulality still appears, Nothing Changes, (Before Enlightenment Fetch Water build Fire, after enlightenment fetch water build fire) however Never can Be
a my life & Never Truly Known Conceptualy Just Seen. !!! /???
My Friend You're Right in The Event Horizon, The Gate less Gate !!! Where All Phenomenon Appears in & out of, where You appear as a Person trying too control & hold Things Together ?!? However there's no way too do & not do Anything !?! Try this out go through out the Day/Night & Claim & Control Every Little & Big Thing in so called Your Life !!!/??? Do You find that there's a self & no self ??? What is Seen for You & can This make Any Kind of Sense Conceptually ??? /!!!
My Friend after Seeing This for M.E. (Mystical Entity) my personality gotten a little bigger & other habits just stopped,Nothing Changed because No One Home in The First Place & everything Seen Through because, can't UN See Being Happening without Any Help from a me !!! Ok Stopping Here & Really Appreciate Your Sincere & Honest Work Great Job & Pleasure too Guide You !!! Talk soon & Let me know how You Feel !!!/??? Sending Peace Love Life & Laughter Yours Truly Stafford



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