looking for the i 1

Welcome to the main forum. When you are ready to start a conversation, register and once your application is processed a guide will come to talk to you.
This is one-on-one style forum, one thread per green member.
User avatar
james1234
Posts: 28
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2020 7:50 am

looking for the i 1

Postby james1234 » Sat Feb 08, 2020 7:54 am

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
That the I that I think I am doesn't exist.

There is no separate me inside the body.

What are you looking for at LU?
To really know that there is no separate I looking for liberation or anything else.
That I am experiencing the truth by living and experiencing life as it happens.
To know that I'm not a separate I.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
Guidance in discovering what I truly am. To know that I need not suffer as a separate individual on a search to find my true self.

To help me know my true condition and to live as that in my daily life.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I have been meditating on and off since about 1977 and have traveled to India several times.
I have followed Sathya Sai Baba and enjoy the teachings of several masters.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
10

User avatar
Ilona
Site Admin
Posts: 7937
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 1:57 pm
Location: Lithuania
Contact:

Re: looking for the i 1

Postby Ilona » Sat Feb 22, 2020 9:06 am

hi James,

Welcome to the forum! Thank you for patience waiting for a guide. Here i am and we can chat.

In your intro you say that you want to really know that there is no separate self. That’s great.
Tell me, what is not clear yet, what doubts come?
How do you know that there is no separate self? What confirms that in your own experience?

Sending love.

User avatar
james1234
Posts: 28
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2020 7:50 am

Re: looking for the i 1

Postby james1234 » Sat Feb 22, 2020 5:35 pm

Thank you for guiding me.

I often forget to remember that there is no separate self especially when busy at work. My emotions , memories

and projection of the future keep me in my imagined ego state.

Living without referencing my imagined self is my goal. I intellectually realize that my imagined I is the doing the

searching .

The only experience that I have is a subtle feeling at times of being clear, empty or hollow but it doesn't last long.

User avatar
Ilona
Site Admin
Posts: 7937
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 1:57 pm
Location: Lithuania
Contact:

Re: looking for the i 1

Postby Ilona » Sun Feb 23, 2020 10:55 am

Right, thank you for reply. See, you expect that self referencing thought need to end. But they are not going to end. Let them be. It’s about seeing that these thoughts are empty. Thought I is empty, it’s a label, it’s not an entity. Same way like thought cup is a thought and it’s not possible to drink coffee from it. You need an actual thing that word cup points to to drink coffee. What this word I points to in actuality?
Can you see, touch, hear, smell, taste the i? What is the i? In your own words, as you see it, what does the word I point to?

Let’s explore this.
Love.

User avatar
james1234
Posts: 28
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2020 7:50 am

Re: looking for the i 1

Postby james1234 » Sun Feb 23, 2020 5:28 pm

Hi and thank you for your reply,

The I thought is my memories, thoughts, emotions , likes and dislikes . All of those things have created a me

character in my mind. In my mind or brain there is a picture of myself as a collection of all those things.

Thinking about it though I know there is no me inside , the feeling is that I'm still looking out at the world through

or with all those attachments.

Thank you for helping and guiding me with this and I feel lighter writing about it.

Reflecting on the cup analogy and the emptiness has helped.

User avatar
Ilona
Site Admin
Posts: 7937
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 1:57 pm
Location: Lithuania
Contact:

Re: looking for the i 1

Postby Ilona » Mon Feb 24, 2020 8:40 am

Ok, yes, there is an image in the mind, in imagination. Is that image you? Are you an image?
When you look at the image of you, what do you see? What comes up? Do you see a body, a memory, a container of thoughts? Is an one image or a collection of images? Can you explore and describe in detail, what shows up when you look at the image.
What is the worst that can happen to an image?

Sending love.

User avatar
james1234
Posts: 28
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2020 7:50 am

Re: looking for the i 1

Postby james1234 » Mon Feb 24, 2020 10:20 am

As I sit here I'm aware that it feels as if I'm based in my head looking out. If I think about the image then thoughts about
the future and past come and go according to my plans for the day.

Also, feelings about the different activities that I plan to do come to mind. Whether or not they will go well, what to
plan for , things to take with me.

If I look closer the image basically seems to be a center with different thoughts and feelings attached to it fleetingly.

When I sit for meditation the thoughts are less active and there seems to be more of a conscious presence .

For the image I would think that the worse that could happen would be for it to disappear although in my thought
I am thinking that it would be a relief to have the piece of mind without the self image.

User avatar
Ilona
Site Admin
Posts: 7937
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 1:57 pm
Location: Lithuania
Contact:

Re: looking for the i 1

Postby Ilona » Mon Feb 24, 2020 11:27 am

Thank you for sharing.
I invite you to investigate this image close up. Here is a video https://youtu.be/_w0wnR72604 that may help.
Tell me, are you here with and without the image of self?
Where is the owner of the image?

Write what you discover.
Love.

User avatar
james1234
Posts: 28
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2020 7:50 am

Re: looking for the i 1

Postby james1234 » Mon Feb 24, 2020 9:23 pm

Thank you for directing me to the video and I really felt something from it.

I could feel a disconnect from the image that was a feeling in my head and also a more consciousness feeling

when I asked what was going on .

The mind movies is a very helpful way of looking at all I'm seeing and is a help in not being too involved with the stories.

I'm sure I could feel something new and thanks again.

I will watch the video again and some of the others as well.

User avatar
Ilona
Site Admin
Posts: 7937
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 1:57 pm
Location: Lithuania
Contact:

Re: looking for the i 1

Postby Ilona » Tue Feb 25, 2020 7:35 am

Thank you for watching :)
So is it clear that you are not an image?
That an image shows up, like colours, sounds, sensations show up?
Do you own the image of james?
Is that something you create or something that is being created?
Can you tell me, how the mood and situation affect what kind of image of james you see? Is that image the same if you are feeling sad or if you are feeling joyful?

And does this character james decide what happens to him in the story?

Write what feels true to you.

Love.

User avatar
james1234
Posts: 28
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2020 7:50 am

Re: looking for the i 1

Postby james1234 » Tue Feb 25, 2020 11:25 am

Yes I can see that the image arises with the other sensations. I do find that I struggle to remember not to be taken in
by the changes that seem to take place.

I see now that I don't own the image or have control over the different situations that cause either happiness or

sadness as they affect the image.
I am beginning to feel that I am something that is observing the situations and feelings that arise in the character
that is more of a feeling now.
Happy or good feelings seem to be easy and natural whereas the uncomfortable feelings seem to be harder to take.
If I can truly see that I'm not the image, am not in control and don't resist what seems to be happening then I can
identify with the calm and peaceful aspect.

User avatar
Ilona
Site Admin
Posts: 7937
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 1:57 pm
Location: Lithuania
Contact:

Re: looking for the i 1

Postby Ilona » Wed Feb 26, 2020 7:25 am

Yes, it is easier when all is well and smooth. But let’s take a closer look at resistance and see, are reactions happening by themselves or are you doing reacting?
Is it wrong to react?
Is resistance unwanted?
Can it be seen as a friend, as a protection mechanism. It says something here is unconscious and shows the way where to look.

Yes, mind movies happen and story is very compelling. But it is too part of experience. Should it stop happening?

What do you notice?

Love.

User avatar
james1234
Posts: 28
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2020 7:50 am

Re: looking for the i 1

Postby james1234 » Wed Feb 26, 2020 5:48 pm

Thank you so much for pointing out that it's not me that's reacting but reacting and resistance happening.
By helping me to see that it can be a useful thing to react and resist it has lessened the impact of some of the thoughts
that I've found difficult.
When I look and see that they are just happening and perhaps unearthing some subconscious story then their purpose
will be fulfilled.

Noticing that it is part of experience and not personal is helpful.

User avatar
Ilona
Site Admin
Posts: 7937
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 1:57 pm
Location: Lithuania
Contact:

Re: looking for the i 1

Postby Ilona » Thu Feb 27, 2020 6:33 am

Wonderful.
Let’s find out what is happening not on automatic. What is not happening by itself and needs you to do it.
write what you find.

Love.

User avatar
james1234
Posts: 28
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2020 7:50 am

Re: looking for the i 1

Postby james1234 » Thu Feb 27, 2020 11:01 am

Thank you and I'm finding this very helpful.

On automatic is my body as far as all the biological processes .

My mind is becoming aware of thoughts and my body and mind are acting on the thoughts but my problem is the taking credit or blame for actions that are happening or not happening .

Ultimately all the actions are automatic but my mind identifies with the brain and takes credit or blame for the actions.

Thank you for your guidance.


Return to “THE GATE”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 2 guests