Stillness

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Faithy
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Re: Stillness

Postby Faithy » Sun Jan 12, 2020 2:44 pm

What is it within ‘you’ that is always peaceful and unattached to outcomes?
There is something that we could call by many names but perhaps I'll call it a Presence for now. Sometimes it's easy to find and other times more obscured.

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Faithy
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Re: Stillness

Postby Faithy » Sun Jan 12, 2020 2:46 pm

What is there to change?
Well this is a good question. The experience of life perhaps?

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Faithy
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Re: Stillness

Postby Faithy » Sun Jan 12, 2020 2:50 pm

Is there anxiety around how the realization will be?
A definite yes here. Anxiety around whether the roles to which I currently feel responsible will be fulfilled appropriately from current standards and also perhaps some willingness to let go in trust that more love and wisdom can flow through these relationships with the dawning of a different perspective.

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Faithy
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Re: Stillness

Postby Faithy » Sun Jan 12, 2020 2:54 pm

Sometimes we hope or imagine there might be big change when self is seen through but it was never there in the first place so life goes on just as it always has. How does that feel?
That feels OK. I am fairly surrendered to just seeing how it unfolds. I have a constant 'prayer' you could call it that whatever unfolds be for the highest good of all and trust that it will be so.

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Faithy
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Re: Stillness

Postby Faithy » Sun Jan 12, 2020 2:57 pm

I just wanted to say thank you Colette for taking the time and energy to guide me. I really appreciate it.

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Colette01
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Re: Stillness

Postby Colette01 » Mon Jan 13, 2020 11:24 pm

Is there anxiety around how the realization will be?
A definite yes here. Anxiety around whether the roles to which I currently feel responsible will be fulfilled appropriately from current standards....

There is no self, never has been, and yet roles and responsibilities have been fulfilled so far?

Here's an exercise to explore any fear/anxiety (sometimes it shows up, sometimes not)

You can write this down if it helps (you dont have to share everything here - just explore and let me know how it goes).

There is no separate self at all in reality. No agent that is in charge, no manager, no watcher, no owner of life; all there is is life flowing freely as one movement.

Watch, wait, notice, write- what comes up? Is there fear? Is there a doubt? Resistance? Frustration? Something that wants to scream and make a turn away, something that says this is not working? Or maybe there is a feeling of wow, joy, relief?
Notice all that is going on inside and just put it down in writing.
................
Done? Ok. Bring all closer. If there is fear, focus on fear.
Notice, that it's protection mechanism. The fear itself is like a door, it holds you from looking behind the door. But it's just fear. It’s ok for it to be here, it is only doing its job. Just let it be there, acknowledge its presence with respect and gratitude, check where it feels physically in the body. Notice sensation.

What is fear itself?
What is it protecting?
What needs to be protected?
What is that feels threatened?

Ask it to reveal why it’s here, what it is trying to tell you, ask the fear to share its wisdom.
If there is no self, then there is nothing that needs to be protected, right?
Honor the feeling. Bow to it, thank it for doing its job. Notice, it is here to protect, it's a friend. Fer is really love in disguise. It is only showing you where to look, the dark areas.

Now, look behind it.
Is there anything behind the fear?
if so, what? And what is behind that?

( note that the silence is not the absence of an answer, it is the answer)

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Faithy
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Re: Stillness

Postby Faithy » Tue Jan 14, 2020 6:29 am

There is no self, never has been, and yet roles and responsibilities have been fulfilled so far?
My response-a smile, some relief and some curiosity. Is this really true? Don't know yet.

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Faithy
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Re: Stillness

Postby Faithy » Tue Jan 14, 2020 6:40 am

There is no separate self at all in reality. No agent that is in charge, no manager, no watcher, no owner of life; all there is is life flowing freely as one movement.
There is some resistance to the statement "life flowing freely as one movement". A bit of disbelief that the interactions between humans are one movement. Maybe like a dance??? Some disappointment perhaps. What on earth have I been doing for 61 years??? Then a shift to if it's true, it's true whether I've seen it or not. Looking to see won't change the truth, won't change reality just my awareness of it.
There is not a lot of fear left now. There was a few weeks ago when I first arrived at the gate but I did the looking at fear exercise that you just gave me back then and I recognised that fear was just trying to block change, protect the old way of being.Then I saw peacefulness and light behind the fear and I've been less fearful about doing this since.

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Colette01
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Re: Stillness

Postby Colette01 » Tue Jan 14, 2020 12:35 pm

My response-a smile, some relief and some curiosity. Is this really true? Don't know yet.
I know that smile :-) and send of relief. Curiosity is going to be really useful! You’re also noticing thoughts i.e. ’Is that really true? Your honesty, ‘dont know yet’ is going to be just as useful. Disappointment can be held just like fear, where is it, come closer, allow, is there anything behind it, anything to whom it belongs', what happens if you stay with what's presenting?

'Dont know yet', that right and we’ll never ‘know’ the truth by thinking about it so we’ll shift gear in the next question explore looking instead of thinking, but first.…just to dust the corners…

In direct experience - when it arises, what ‘exactly’ is it that you're labelling fear? Keep it to one or two words.

Where is that which you’re labelling fear?

Can you ‘see’ peacefulness and light behind fear in direct experience?



When you experience 'fear', staying close, looking, is there something else? Some thing to which fear belongs?


When you dont ‘do’ anything about ‘fear’ what happens?


Let me know if there's anything to report on that - it's a pleasure to work with you :-)

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Faithy
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Re: Stillness

Postby Faithy » Wed Jan 15, 2020 6:05 am

Disappointment can be held just like fear, where is it, come closer, allow, is there anything behind it, anything to whom it belongs', what happens if you stay with what's presenting?
I can't find the disappointment today. It was fleeting It arose then left.

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Faithy
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Re: Stillness

Postby Faithy » Wed Jan 15, 2020 6:11 am

In direct experience - when it arises, what ‘exactly’ is it that you're labelling fear? Keep it to one or two words.
I'm labelling fear a tightness in the gut and some thoughts cycling around a bit. Yes. Peacefulness and light can be seen in direct experience and sometimes something I haven't really seen before which could be described as emptiness or perhaps spaciousness. A darker experience but not in a frightening way. A void perhaps?

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Faithy
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Re: Stillness

Postby Faithy » Wed Jan 15, 2020 6:13 am

When you dont ‘do’ anything about ‘fear’ what happens?

Either it passes or I get hooked into stories which perpetuate it.

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Colette01
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Re: Stillness

Postby Colette01 » Wed Jan 15, 2020 3:54 pm

OK. Thank you Faithy. Lets explore reality, illusion and the kind of looking we'll be doing.

Real is that which does not disappear when you stop believing in it.

Take 3 words:

Table - a material thing
University - a label that is used for communication but can not be found as a thing
Santa Clause - an imaginary character, a fiction - a word that points to something that isnt real.

1. Take your index finger, where does it point to when you say "I" "me"?
2. Can you look and see what is ACTUALLY there, the place where the finger points?

How did that go?


Looking for Socks

There is a big difference between knowing that there is nothing to give up and seeing that there is nothing to give up.

Here is an example to illustrate the difference:

If I ask you what colour socks you are wearing right now you have two ways to come up with an answer:
• You can have a think about it, you can think back to this morning and try to remember putting your socks on, and you can probably tell me what colour you think they are.
• Alternatively, you can take a quick look at your socks and tell me what colour they actually are!
Hopefully you would agree that you can only be 100% certain by looking.
For the purpose of our dialogue together, it is going to be very important that you are clear about this difference.

Knowing is about knowledge which is all in the mind and we are not interested in that. We are only interested in looking at and seeing what is actually going on in your present moment to moment experience. We are only interested in your direct experience in the moment.Please let me know if you are clear about this or if you would like any further clarification.

The term ‘actual experience or direct experience is used to refer to experience ‘right now,’ and noticing the thought stories about them... so ‘looking’ is just plain looking at what is here right now. It is the raw experience of direct experiences colour, sound, smell, sensation, taste and the simple knowing of thought at face value, not the content of thought.

The key to this exploration is the careful LOOKING because it’s the act of actually LOOKING and not finding an “I” that brings about the realisation of there being no separate self.

We can't see through the illusion of self via logical understanding. If you could, you would be there already.

How's that landing?

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Faithy
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Re: Stillness

Postby Faithy » Thu Jan 16, 2020 2:46 am

1. Take your index finger, where does it point to when you say "I" "me"?
2. Can you look and see what is ACTUALLY there, the place where the finger points?
So at first I thought the index finger was pointing to the body so I've been looking there and seeing a body doing actions, experiencing thoughts and sensations. It all seemed to be happening in the body without a central self engaging with it but there is something outside through which " I " am watching.
Then I read your guidance again and I realised that the finger was pointing to the heart centre.
I've been watching this heart area this morning and it's very quiet.
Silent in fact. I'll keep watching

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Colette01
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Re: Stillness

Postby Colette01 » Thu Jan 16, 2020 3:48 pm

That's right thoughts, sensations unfold, life happens without a controller. No self there then?
....but there is something outside through which " I " am watching
Is the 'thing' outside of experience, that which is separate, the witnesser, is that the separate self? Can you really look, not think, but look, what generates 'outside'?


Introductory Body Exercise

Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes.
Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:
Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or volume?
In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?
Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing? Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?
Is there an inside or an outside?
If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly?
If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?
What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to? What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?
Look very carefully, especially with the last question. Take your time, don’t rush. You can look several times during the day while doing other things (like washing hands, showering, having a short break from work, walking, etc) before replying.


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