Yes. Thank you for the acknowledgement.Thank you for sitting down and writing all this out. You can see the mechanisms and how they function to protect from trauma. Yes there is holding on to the idea of being a chooser to feel more secure.
While reading this the chooser is in the background. Reading is taking place but previous to reading there was a choice made to begin reading. And then there will be a choice of what to do after the reading is over.Let’s look right there. You are here right this moment. Reading these words. Aware of the letters on the screen. You don’t need to do anything about it, it’s simply happening. You don’t need to choose or decide anything, this moment is already here as it is and it’s not possible to change it. Is there a chooser right here right now?
What comes up when you ask this?
What is here now is here now. Can not choose a different here/now.If so what is it choosing right now? And can he choose differently than what is already here?
What do you notice?
Yet choices occur that will influence the unfolding of future events. Right now I am going through a major life transition and need to decide where to live, what type of work to do, who I will be in relationship with. Lots and lots of stressful mental activity trying to decide which path to take. Do I live in this place or this place? Do I take this job or that job? Do I pursue this potential relationship partner or that one?
And the worst part is that I often make choices that result in a lot of unhappiness, as a form of self punishment :( In the moment it seems that I am making the "best" choice but then later I see that I am actually denying myself the happiness and satisfaction that I am longing for. I am a master at making self defeating decisions!
Ok I will take your word on this one. I'm just very tired of the Santa metaphor!As for separate selves in real people, well, once it’s clear that there is no separate self this question gets answered.
No one is outside of life, that is clear. I am inside of life, yet within my own private bubble, so to speak. Yes the mind creates division, how to stop that particular mental activity?It seems that thinking about division creates division. But the concept of division is only in the mind, The actually is undivided.
Is there anyone outside of life, separate from life?
One thing I have noticed is that when I tune into it, "sense of self" is pretty much exactly like the "sense of being separate".
Ok that's it for now.