You ask some very good questions! I am sorry my answers (insights/understandings) are not so good. Feeling very inadequate when it comes to all of this.... In any case here is what I have.
I don't know for sure. It could be that turning my anger against myself instead of others somehow keeps me safe from those others. But it also has a quality of self punishment as well. I punish myself for being fearful and for being inadequate/incapable.What problem does self hate fix?
No.Is it useful?
No.Is it helping?
It is a compulsive activity, outside of my control, like binge eating. It just happens no matter what I tell myself about it.Is it necessary?
I assume parents.Who did you learn that from?
Childhood. I don't recall a particular age.When was the first time you felt self hatred?
Wanting to do something but being too scared to do it. Over and over again. Hating myself for being so fearful and incapable of overcoming that fear.What was the situation? Describe.
Other times the thought me refers to the being.
Sense of being and sense of self feel the same.Right, that’s the illusion we are looking at. A being. There is no actual entity as a separate from the whole being. If you take word being and see it as a verb. It is here, always, being, knowing, aware space in which all the content shows up and is experienced.
Can you feel that sense of being?
Yes. Being is happening on its own but then the "happening-on-its-own" being has to do other things in life. Like work, play, interact, all of the social survival stuff. Relationships, communication, make choices, decisions, go to school, make money, pay bills, on and on. Being created the individual being but then there are endless demands on the individual being.Is that a being doing being?
No matter what I do I continue to be. Unless I do something to end this individual being.What do you do in order to be?
To exist I need to do very little. Eat, sleep. Stay safe. Need to provide for physical needs to continue being.What do you need to do in order to be?
Yes being just goes on and on until the individual being dies.Or being is on by default, unstoppable and without a pause?