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domostroy
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Re: ja

Postby domostroy » Wed Jun 10, 2020 4:03 pm

Hi :)

Sorry for not replying earlier, I needed more time with these questions, to sort things out. Well, I tried to, anyway.


Are center and me different?

They were always the same before, now they are sometimes. As I previously described, nothing says it is me. It's not me when looking, but that takes a bit of time and effort. Without them, the default assumption is that it's me. I think it's a sensations that always will be there, liberation or not. Awareness. I'm not saying "I'm awareness", I don't know about that. It seems that default assumption is that the sensation of being alive/aware/awake is "me". I think I've been going in circles with this from start. "Me" is here, "me" is there. It never ends. I know it's not anywhere, yet I keep describing where it is, like a crazy person.


Please tell what kind of sensation it is, and how different it is from other sensations.

As above. A sensation of being alive/aware/awake. It's always there.


Do you wish that it will disappear completely?

No. Nor will it as long as I live, I suppose.


Ok, so here you are referring to your belief that you are not flowers, right?

Yes.


When you are sure you are not flowers, what are you sure about you being?

Not flowers :)


What, or who are you?

I don't know. I really don't. There is the body taking care of everything and I seem to be the extra thoughts that are not useful for anything, just confusing things.


J.

Bananafish
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Re: ja

Postby Bananafish » Thu Jun 11, 2020 7:36 am

Hi Jaro. :)

A sensation of being alive/aware/awake. It's always there.


When you are absorbed in a horror movie (or whatever kind of activity) are you
really aware that you are alive, aware, awake? Are these really something
permanent, i.e. something that is there all the time?

I know that some Nonduality people verify the importance of "awareness"
saying that it's always there; but in your own direct experience, is this true?
Please verify it.


Not flowers :)


BIngo. :) You wouldn't be able to say you are something else instead.
Now, again, what are you, right here and now?

Who are you when you don't think about who you are?



Please stay with the question; don't hurry. And see the thoughts that comes along with
this staying.


Warm wishes,

Bananafish
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
the date.
Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
Website: https://en.modernkoanproject.com

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domostroy
Posts: 215
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Re: ja

Postby domostroy » Sun Jun 14, 2020 10:40 pm

Hi Bananafish, thank you.

When you are absorbed in a horror movie (or whatever kind of activity) are you
really aware that you are alive, aware, awake? Are these really something
permanent, i.e. something that is there all the time?

No, of course not. Focus inward is needed to experience that something. It seems to be always available though.


Now, again, what are you, right here and now?

Who are you when you don't think about who you are?

I don't know who or what I am. When not thinking about it, a stream of experiences is happening. There is nobody, really, until thoughts about it are back.



All the best,

J.

Bananafish
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Joined: Mon Dec 08, 2014 3:29 pm
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Re: ja

Postby Bananafish » Mon Jun 15, 2020 12:15 am

Focus inward is needed to experience that something. It seems to be always available though.


Ok, that depends on something called "focus inward." And that is an experience.
Is there an experience that is "always there?"


And is it something fancy that is "available" on your own will?
What is it for, first of all?


There is nobody, really, until thoughts about it are back.


Is "thoughts about it" somebody?


Warm wishes,

Bananafish
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
the date.
Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
Website: https://en.modernkoanproject.com

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domostroy
Posts: 215
Joined: Mon Sep 16, 2019 11:26 am

Re: ja

Postby domostroy » Mon Jun 15, 2020 9:30 pm

Hi Bananafish, thank you.


Is there an experience that is "always there?"

No.


And is it something fancy that is "available" on your own will?

I don't know about fancy, but it seems to be always available.


What is it for, first of all?

Well, it's "laboratory" space. It's not awareness itself, actually. I don't think I have ever experienced something like awareness by itself. This space is where everything seems to be happening. It is also possible to experience the space itself, I called it quite wrongly "awareness". It can't be awareness since I'm aware of the space. Observing/being in that space was my practice for some years, it still is very easy for me to slide in there.
There is also quite strong resistance to Non-duality being challanged. It's only resistance in the form of thoughts though, it seems.


Is "thoughts about it" somebody?

No.




All the best,

J.

Bananafish
Posts: 3636
Joined: Mon Dec 08, 2014 3:29 pm
Location: Japan
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Re: ja

Postby Bananafish » Tue Jun 16, 2020 6:34 am

Hi Jaro. :)


I don't know about fancy, but it seems to be always available.


Would you tell what "available" means in this context?


This space is where everything seems to be happening.


Do things need a "space" to happen?



Warm wishes,

Bananafish


p.s.

Would you be available for one on one online chat? I might be able to give
some advice that is difficult convey appropriately in written form.

Please drop me a private message if you feel like trying that.
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
the date.
Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
Website: https://en.modernkoanproject.com

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domostroy
Posts: 215
Joined: Mon Sep 16, 2019 11:26 am

Re: ja

Postby domostroy » Tue Jun 16, 2020 10:24 am

Hi Bananafish, thank you.


Would you tell what "available" means in this context?

Accessible. Like car in a garage. It's there whenever I need it. Do I really need it? I don't know, I have gotten used to checking in. I also probably use it as a tranquilizer, as you suggested before.



Do things need a "space" to happen?

No.



All the best,

J.

Bananafish
Posts: 3636
Joined: Mon Dec 08, 2014 3:29 pm
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Re: ja

Postby Bananafish » Wed Jun 17, 2020 2:21 am

Hi Jaro. :) I'll be sending you a private message very soon.
In the meantime, let's look at this:


Accessible. Like car in a garage. It's there whenever I need it. Do I really need it? I don't know, I have gotten used to checking in. I also probably use it as a tranquilizer, as you suggested before.


Have you made it a habit to use something that you are not sure about its needs?
This sounds like a kind of addiction. What makes you feel not tranquil?


Warm wishes,

Bananafish
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
the date.
Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
Website: https://en.modernkoanproject.com

User avatar
domostroy
Posts: 215
Joined: Mon Sep 16, 2019 11:26 am

Re: ja

Postby domostroy » Wed Jun 17, 2020 9:04 pm

Hi :)


Have you made it a habit to use something that you are not sure about its needs?
This sounds like a kind of addiction. What makes you feel not tranquil?

I called it "laboratory space" before, bacause it's useful in many circumstances. Like looking, in this process. Or picking apart things when too much "life" happens, seeing sensations or feelings for what they are etc. In such cases, that looking/picking things apart works like a tranquilizer. Otherwise, I don't think I'm in any particular need for tranquilizing myself.


So the model is that it's a space in which everything happens because it seems like it does, especially with eyes closed, but that's just a model. Actually, only with eyes closed. Sight is very dominant here. Can't do much with eyes open, except for taking in what's being seen.



All the best,

J.

Bananafish
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Joined: Mon Dec 08, 2014 3:29 pm
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Re: ja

Postby Bananafish » Thu Jun 18, 2020 6:57 am

Hi Jaro. :)

Please tell how self is felt to be now.


Warm wishes,

Bananafish
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
the date.
Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
Website: https://en.modernkoanproject.com

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domostroy
Posts: 215
Joined: Mon Sep 16, 2019 11:26 am

Re: ja

Postby domostroy » Fri Jun 19, 2020 1:20 am

Hi Bananafish, thank you.


Please tell how self is felt to be now.

Unchanged. There was a period of it not being very obvious lately, but right now I'd say it's as it has always been. I am writing this. I am wondering what is wrong with me. I am thinking that the self "should" no longer be here. It doesn't help to know that these are just thoughts. Besides, obviously the self must be more than just only thoughts.



All the best,

J.

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domostroy
Posts: 215
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Re: ja

Postby domostroy » Fri Jun 19, 2020 1:22 am

Hi Bananafish, thank you.


Please tell how self is felt to be now.

Unchanged. There was a period of it not being very obvious lately, but right now I'd say it's as it has always been. I am writing this. I am wondering what is wrong with me. I am thinking that the self "should" no longer be here. It doesn't help to know that these are just thoughts. Besides, obviously the self must be more than just only thoughts. A belief perhaps, unchanged despite all the evidence to the contrary.



All the best,

J.

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domostroy
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Re: ja

Postby domostroy » Fri Jun 19, 2020 1:24 am

Sorry for the double post, I don't know how it happened.

Bananafish
Posts: 3636
Joined: Mon Dec 08, 2014 3:29 pm
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Re: ja

Postby Bananafish » Fri Jun 19, 2020 4:22 am

Hi Jaro. :)

No problem at all.

I'm thinking about suggesting to you a completely different approach.

I can see that people have different tendencies and the method we use here in LU
is not for all the people around the world; so please don't accuse yourself for not feeling any change.
There's nothing wrong with you, ok?

I'd like to talk to you about that privately.
Please wait for the private message I'll be sending.

Warm wishes,

Bananafish
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
the date.
Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
Website: https://en.modernkoanproject.com

User avatar
domostroy
Posts: 215
Joined: Mon Sep 16, 2019 11:26 am

Re: ja

Postby domostroy » Fri Jun 19, 2020 11:50 am

Hi,

I am looking forward to it.
I am truly very grateful.

J.


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