Thank you for sharing this with me. We can work with this.In the mornings, within a minute or two of waking up, thought is seen/observed to start up and intense suffering appears. These are thick, and sticky thoughts with 'uncomfortable' feelings/sensation. This is best described as 'dread'. Each and every day, these are watched and felt as fully as possible without trying to label them. What is not there is also looked for and the reality of the experience is questioned. The feelings are identified in the background as 'bad' and happening to 'me'. It's an exhausting process which can go on for a couple of hours or more.
It can address this from two angles.
Let’s investigate the me that this experience is happening TO.
I would like to ask you to start investigating the ‘me’, as soon as you wake up. If it helps, please write down these questions to a piece of paper and keep close to your bed, so you can look at them as soon as you wake up. Also it can help to re-read them when it seems that you are ‘swallowed up’ by this emotion.
As soon as the feeling is there, you can investigate it from two angles:The feelings are identified in the background as 'bad' and happening to 'me'.
1. What does this sensation/feeling happening TO?
WHERE is the ‘me’ EXACTLY that is feeling is sensation/emotion?
Find its exact location.
2. The sensation itself can be investigated too.The trend of certainty (for want of better words) can increase throughout the day with the intense, 'dread' sensations appearing periodically.
Put the attention onto the sensation.
Does the sensation itself suggest in any way that it is the ‘feeling of dread’?
Does the sensation contains the information that it is suffering?
Does the sensation communicate at any way that this sensation is bad?
What makes this sensation into the ‘feeling of dread’?
How do you know that this sensation is ‘bad’, ‘dread’ or ‘suffering’?
Please spend lots of time investigating these questions. Let me know what you find.