Cosmic Consciousness

[Gregoryblade]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
That which is constructed by thought, the me, the story, often called the ego, is simply an idea of self and has no Truth in it. What I am is upstream of thought and cannot be grasp. The True I is unbounded choice-less awareness with no center. It is no nor I than You.

What are you looking for at LU?
I have been a student of enlightenment since the age of seventeen. I am now 58 years of age. I was drawn out of the supposed self in a near death experience at the age of seventeen. I began doing volunteer counseling and enlightenment support for eight years. I am interested in your approach as a continuing student and I offer my wisdom to help others.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
A simple recognition of each other as one and the same. I discovered life outside the ego at a very young age and felt very alone with no one to share the remarkable new awareness with. In the end, I became the one I needed to talk to. I would like to connect with a guide for the purpose mutual recognition.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
After my awakening at the age of seventeen I began reading books to understand my centerless being. My favorite teachers are Da Free John, J. Krishnamurti, Dr David R Hawkins, Ramana Maharshi, Ken Wilber, Alan Watts, and more. I have studied nearly all of the works of these individuals. I continuously sought conversations with others who shared in this awareness. Such contact sparked strong blissful experiences of the here and now. I often simply inquired, who is thinking? Who is seeing? Who is frightened? Who? Who? Who? Pointing back to True Self outside of the theatre of objects.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
11

[Seamist]

Hi
I can be your guide here, if that is what you are looking for? I'm not sure after reading your initial post - so perhaps we'd best begin by discussing that?
Let me know!

[Gregoryblade]

Thank you for offering your selfless service. I wish to take a close look at consciousness as it appears in my case using the methods of LU. I am not without experience of no self. It many ways it is simply the Truth. The next step in the evolution of thought. To negate it! I do have some questions but would first like to examine my consciousness as authentic. Again, thank you for your time.

[Seamist]

So ... Are your wanting to folklore the usual KY process and see what you find?
Or do you feel you're "done" already?

[Gregoryblade]

So ... Are your wanting to folklore the usual KY process and see what you find?

I don’t know what that means. As for done? No. There appears to be a continuing unfolding and then appearances of being lost in the game.

[Seamist]

It means I made an auto-correct error and didn't spot it! Apologies.
I meant to say..
Do you want to follow the usual LU process ? Or?

[Gregoryblade]

Hmmmmmmm. I must admit I like to explore by by hearing myself answer questions. I like offscript as well. Follow your instincts. Confront me. Test me. Let’s see where this goes.

[Seamist]

I'm happy with " let's see where it goes'
Ok, some initial stuff..

Have you read the initial blurbs about LU?
I'd now a good time for you to do this work?
And are you able and willing to part at least once a day?

[Seamist]

Doh, post not part.
Sorry, I'm using my mobile at the moment ( usually I guide using my laptop which has less of a tendency to errors

[Gregoryblade]

Yes this is a good time. I have read the intro material.

[Seamist]

Great, let's get going then.
Say this aloud to yourself three times:
There is no separate self at all in reality. No agent that is in charge, no manager, no watcher, no owner of life; all there is is life flowing freely as one movement.
Watch, wait, notice - what comes up? Is there fear? Is there a doubt? Resistance? Frustration? Something that wants to scream and make a turn away, something that says this is not working? Or maybe there is a feeling of wow, joy, relief?
Notice all that is going on inside and let me know what you find


What should I call you?
My name is Sioned

[Gregoryblade]

“Say this aloud to yourself three times:
There is no separate self at all in reality. No agent that is in charge, no manager, no watcher, no owner of life; all there is is life flowing freely as one movement.
Watch, wait, notice - what comes up? Is there fear? Is there a doubt? Resistance? Frustration? Something that wants to scream and make a turn away, something that says this is not working? Or maybe there is a feeling of wow, joy, relief?
Notice all that is going on inside and let me know what you find”


What should I call you?
My name is Sioned

Hello Sioned,

My name is Gregory. Thank you again for starting this inquiry.
“What arises while saying this?”
There is a huge feeling of relief, peace and a feeling that nothing needs to be done or changed. Stillness.
There is an openness and a realization that one need not act or think from the past. There is freedom. I have been here before. My ex wife used to say, “I have a new husband every day!”
There is some fear though lurking. Fear of having to produce some type of congealed personality to those I am in relationship with like my sister, with whom I live, and a newer girlfriend. The editing function of the mind gets turned off and all there is is spontaneous speaking and acting. This is fine in solitude which I enjoy often. But those around me that hold up a template of expectations and recognizeability, can actually be frightened. This is why I go on retreat at least once a month. To be where there is no recording or watching mind.
I like identifying potential problems and taking action so all goes smoothly. I have very little drama or issues in my life. In this sense I could be called a controller. My house is clean, the dishes are done and the grass is mowed.
I do have some resistance because I have an “open consciousness”. In other words, without borders or boundaries, I can sometimes feel people from the inside out or even duplicate their consciousness in my body. There are many other things that can happen spontaneously. I am like an open system. I have learned to be relaxed and welcome the new and strange. Basically, anything can happen at anytime. I am no longer surprised. Fear arises sometimes and I don’t wish to cause fear in those around me. That fear can impact me.

Gregory

[Seamist]

Hi Gregory,
Can I introduce you to the quote function? In the little box above. If you're quoting what I said in your reply, it'll make it easier to read. I aim to do the same (but will forget sometimes).

Like this:

“What arises while saying this?”
There is a huge feeling of relief, peace and a feeling that nothing needs to be done or changed. Stillness.
There is an openness and a realization that one need not act or think from the past. There is freedom

This is lovely to read!

There is some fear though lurking.

And this is a common thing (I had it myself). I'd like you to explore this further..
Notice, that fear is a protection mechanism. The fear itself is like a door, it holds you from looking behind the door. But it's just fear. It’s ok for it to be here, it is only doing its job. Just let it be there, acknowledge its presence with respect and gratitude, check where it feels physically in the body. Notice sensation.
What is fear itself?
What is it protecting?
What needs to be protected?
What is that feels threatened?

(when I put something in bold, that means hat this is something I'm suggesting you do)
x Sioned

[Gregoryblade]

What is fear itself?
What is it protecting?
What needs to be protected?
What is that feels threatened?

Fear is hesitation to just live in the flow. Hesitating to let go of control from the separate self position. It is a gut feeling of anxiousness. It is imagining a negative outcome.

Fear believes it protects the body from potentially larger negative feelings. It is a warning shot saying, “Don’t go there.”
So it is trying to protect the body but it also wants to protect the inner mental world of security. To protect the known world and keep it intact.

I feel anxious just answering these questions. I want to know what is going to happen next. I want security and to feel safe.

I think the whole body feels threatened. It’s almost that the survival instinct is kicking in. Can I trust the Universe without being a doer, a planner, a worrier?

[Seamist]

Hi Gregory,

I think the whole body feels threatened

Are you able to identify this anywhere in particular in the body? Are there any particular physical sensations ?
x Sioned