The truth doesn't need my belief to exist

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Jadzia
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Re: The truth doesn't need my belief to exist

Postby Jadzia » Sun Jan 12, 2020 5:13 pm

Doubts are when expectations are not met
Expectations about how I should feel & what I should think.
Expectations about what I should see & how that should be.
When these expectations are not fulfilled, there is a doubt - a thought.
Expectations can be about can be about a lot, like outcome of future events, how I or someone else is going to behave and so on.
Should be-s point to beliefs, dogma.
So there is something to look at.
There is resistance between how I feel & how I should feel. This resistance could be called doubt.
Isn't there a discrepancy between what is felt, and what is thought one should feel?
Explain what resistance is for you in this case.
My doubt is actually something to not resist. It’s a state of unknowing. I have started to allow this.
Very good.
The doubt is a springboard for the 'i'
What do 'i' know' for sure
How can 'i' see things clearly
The doubt is a thought of 'i'.
In the sentence "There is doubt about....." there is an I, because there seems to be a person doubting.
Is there someone doubting? What exactly is there?

Look at beliefs and dogma and share what you find.

Love,
Jadzia

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Sidstrate
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Re: The truth doesn't need my belief to exist

Postby Sidstrate » Mon Jan 13, 2020 1:02 pm

Thank you for these pointers
As a result, I've been taking a fresh look.

I'm going to take another day to continue.

Much love

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Jadzia
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Re: The truth doesn't need my belief to exist

Postby Jadzia » Mon Jan 13, 2020 1:57 pm

Take as much time as you need.
I am around. :-)

Love,
Jadzia

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Sidstrate
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Re: The truth doesn't need my belief to exist

Postby Sidstrate » Tue Jan 14, 2020 1:10 pm

There is resistance between how I feel & how I should feel. This resistance could be called doubt.
Isn't there a discrepancy between what is felt, and what is thought one should feel?
Explain what resistance is for you in this case.

In the sentence "There is doubt about....." there is an I, because there seems to be a person doubting.
Is there someone doubting? What exactly is there?

Look at beliefs and dogma and share what you find.
Why do I doubt?
Well it can’t be just this can it?!

I have seen that I have a desire/expectation to be something special. This whole LU (like many other spiritual endeavors of the last few years) is another opportunity for me to do something special & make ‘me’ more important or impressive.

The way I currently feel or think does not fit into these requirements (of being something special). I am left with a shallow/hollow feeling.
Uncovering this through investigation provides me with relief.
"There is doubt about..... there is an I, because there seems to be a person doubting.”
I have been spending significant time looking at the one who doubts. This is proving to be fertile ground. I feel like I am getting closer. I will continue over the next day or two.

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Jadzia
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Re: The truth doesn't need my belief to exist

Postby Jadzia » Tue Jan 14, 2020 4:53 pm

You are keeping up good work.
And as funny as it sounds, your doubts proof it. See, this knowing which your are seeking for can't be got through rational thinking, or intellectual - mind doesn't get it, it is not done for it. So it feels like running into a wall, no way getting through it, not with the tools one is used to.

Erm, and doubt happens like everything else.

I loved reading your response of the expectation of becoming a special person. What you are looking for is so simply so odinary, it is so not special, nor is any person who has "got" it. It is so simple that it is actually too easy to spot for our own good. LOL

Go on investigating the way you do and share what you find.

Love,
Jadzia

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Sidstrate
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Re: The truth doesn't need my belief to exist

Postby Sidstrate » Fri Jan 17, 2020 3:22 am

Go on investigating the way you do and share what you find.

I have spent the last couple of days continuing this investigation. I haven't felt like I had much to report back. I continued to catch myself & then observing.
This happened quite regularly.

Then I asked who is the I that is catching myself?
Very delicately looking.
Quite often it would fade into nothing. Sometimes it was very nice. A rising feeling of evaporation.
I kept returning to a ‘me’
So the cycle continued…
There is no result to aim for, Just the movement of now.

I am training myself to come out of old habits.
But what is the I who is doing the training?

It is like the ‘I’ is autopilot

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Jadzia
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Re: The truth doesn't need my belief to exist

Postby Jadzia » Fri Jan 17, 2020 8:37 am

Then I asked who is the I that is catching myself?
This is a good question.
If as an answer nothing or silence comes - there is the answer.
I kept returning to a ‘me’
Who is the I keeping on returning to a me?
I am training myself to come out of old habits.
But what is the I who is doing the training?
Another good question.

Sometimes it is good to keep in mind that the I, the me is made of descriptions. How is this I?
Getting that there is no seperate entity called I or self - how much power has the description?

Love,
Jadzia

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Sidstrate
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Re: The truth doesn't need my belief to exist

Postby Sidstrate » Mon Jan 20, 2020 3:12 am

Then I asked who is the I that is catching myself?
This is a good question.
If as an answer nothing or silence comes - there is the answer.
I encounter labels, sensations/vibrations then nothing.
The investigation keeps returning to silence.
I kept returning to a ‘me’
Who is the I keeping on returning to a me?
I go round in circles. Returning to silence.
I am training myself to come out of old habits.
But what is the I who is doing the training?
Another good question.
I will continue with this.
Sometimes it is good to keep in mind that the I, the me is made of descriptions. How is this I?
Getting that there is no separate entity called I or self - how much power has the description?
I continue to watch.
In one way the description is everything but on closer inspection, the label has not, & cannot have any bearing on what is occurring. It’s arbitrary & in many ways unnecessary.

Everything appears from 'my perspective. I am 'me' centric. Today I will look out for the label of ‘me’ & see what happens when I remove the label.

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Sidstrate
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Re: The truth doesn't need my belief to exist

Postby Sidstrate » Mon Jan 20, 2020 3:12 am

Then I asked who is the I that is catching myself?
This is a good question.
If as an answer nothing or silence comes - there is the answer.
I encounter labels, sensations/vibrations then nothing.
The investigation keeps returning to silence.
I kept returning to a ‘me’
Who is the I keeping on returning to a me?
I go round in circles. Returning to silence.
I am training myself to come out of old habits.
But what is the I who is doing the training?
Another good question.
I will continue with this.
Sometimes it is good to keep in mind that the I, the me is made of descriptions. How is this I?
Getting that there is no separate entity called I or self - how much power has the description?
I continue to watch.
In one way the description is everything but on closer inspection, the label has not, & cannot have any bearing on what is occurring. It’s arbitrary & in many ways unnecessary.

Everything appears from 'my perspective. I am 'me' centric. Today I will look out for the label of ‘me’ & see what happens when I remove the label.

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Jadzia
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Re: The truth doesn't need my belief to exist

Postby Jadzia » Mon Jan 20, 2020 8:31 am

This returning to silence or silence as answer occurs when thoughts run dry, meaning no one is getting caught in them, no one buys the story - and silence it is.
In one way the description is everything but on closer inspection, the label has not, & cannot have any bearing on what is occurring. It’s arbitrary & in many ways unnecessary.
All the labels, they are a set of descriptions about you and what the you believes the world and everything in it is.
As descriptions, they have no power at all.
The only power is the power of believing in all the labels, descriptions as something real and true.
You've found for yourself that there is no self the way you imagined, no thinker, no you that is the doer, no controler, no decider and so on.
Everything appears from 'my perspective. I am 'me' centric. Today I will look out for the label of ‘me’ & see what happens when I remove the label.
Me is just a two lettered word like 'no' or 'at'. These words have only the power one gives them.

Give yourself a bit of time to do this:
Sit with a few of these descriptions about you.
Feel some of the pain that making the descriptions true brings.
See that you are identifying with the 'you' in the descriptions.

Now, take a nice comfortable breath and take a pause.

You have already had an insight that 'Sidstrate' is a story.
Take one of these descriptions. Feel into it.
Then bring the insight into play, pierce into the fact that you are not 'Sidstrate'.
Never was, never will be.
Can this description ever be about you?
Has any description ever be about you?

Love,
Jadzia

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Sidstrate
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Re: The truth doesn't need my belief to exist

Postby Sidstrate » Wed Jan 22, 2020 2:15 am

Your last post is proving to be very helpful. I will continue with this line of inquiry.

Much Love

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Jadzia
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Re: The truth doesn't need my belief to exist

Postby Jadzia » Wed Jan 22, 2020 8:06 am

Thanks for saying Hi - and take all the time you need.

Love,
Jadzia

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Jadzia
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Re: The truth doesn't need my belief to exist

Postby Jadzia » Mon Jan 27, 2020 11:32 am

How are you doing?

Love,
Jadzia

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Sidstrate
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Re: The truth doesn't need my belief to exist

Postby Sidstrate » Tue Jan 28, 2020 1:39 am

The separation exercise you gave me was very useful. I was able to observe what was going on with Sidstrate separated. Once this is done, it is obvious to see that sidstrate doesn’t exist. (As you said, I have known this for a while.)

For a few days I’ve known that I am now done, meaning I know from experience that there is no self. I have been holding back on a response to make sure. But there is nothing to make sure. There is simply nothing there. Just awareness.
Life is exactly the same. I imagine certain things will unravel in time.

Thank you for all your help, it has been wonderful to go through this experience with you.
Much Love

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Jadzia
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Re: The truth doesn't need my belief to exist

Postby Jadzia » Tue Jan 28, 2020 9:03 am

Beautiful.

Just for checking. :-)
There is simply nothing there. Just awareness.
Can awareness be found in DE?
I imagine certain things will unravel in time.
Yes, happening by itself and when it happens, remember: Never resist - always embrace what is there.

You are welcome!

Jadzia


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