Thank you for your response. Sorry only coming back after a few months... Hope you have a little bit more time nowadays...
Ok so what you mean by that is that we can, we have the possibility to shift our perception such that what we are getting upset by can be suddenly changed when seen from another angle, like as if we would see how ridiculous that whole show can be ? How to do it in practice though (especially in the heat of the action) ?It all comes down to perception. That's it. Like any skill, we can develop it, and in so doing, see more widely and deeply. Many of the things we think we need to do, such as dissolve anger, is based on a particular perception of anger. So, the first thing is to appreciate that everything you see to be the case, your landscape, is a product of your current state of perception.
So yes I could only be hurt if somehow the words or actions of the person are put down say right on my level rather than being above or to the side, and hence these would "miss" me rather than reach me ?This is the same with hurt, irritation etc - we are hurt because of what is perceived to be happening, what it means etc.
So in a kind of mental pirouette we would shift our direction such that the impact would be lessened.
Maybe this is also what happen with "time" aka how we look from NOW an even that happened in the PAST and we are seing it from a slightly different angle hence the pain is lessened because we can see how the whole situation unfolded from there, and that what looked like a catastophe back then turned out to be really really good from where we're standing now.
So maybe the question would be : why wait until we're older to shift that perception ? Why not shifting it right here right now ?
So we could say that anything that show up is only seem from a very limited narrow view, by swapping from different views we could see that this "thing" isn't as solid and real as we imagined it to be in the first place. That the meaning of these gestures or these words or these action weren't as bad (and especially as personal) as we took it to be ?This is the basic notion to grasp: do not take anything at face value.
What's your technique, what's your approach to deal with these "live" ?
Thanks a lot John !!