emptyfu;

[xiaolongnu]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
There is a realization recently that there is no separate 'me' who is managing life. All there is is life flowing effortlessly. life is what is happening, but to nobody, the 'self'. This 'self' is just a mental structure, a collection of thoughts and images. experiensing no self is like experienceless experience.

What are you looking for at LU?
I seem to have some kind of break through recently. and I would like to be 'checked'. since I understand that you ask people questions to see if the realization is completed. somehow I see that there is no way of knowing when the illusion of me collapse. Because there is no 'I' to see it. and I want to learn the methods you are guiding people, they are indeed amazingly simple and so direct!!!

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
like I said above, i want to be asked questions to have a kind of 'check'. And to clarify things further. and i do want to learn the methods though i have no idea how you train people. But I'm very much impressed and inspired. If the realization is not yet fully completed, i wish to be guided into it.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
in the last 4 years, I've been searching, trying to reach the enlightment. I went to Satsangs, reading books, listening to different teachers, such as Mooji, Tony Parsons, Jeff Foster, etc. they all have helped me to get deeper insights. I'm not a meditative type. But I do have done a lot of inquiries, turning into the body sensations, emotions... and discovering this kind of investigation works best. In my work (I'm a therapist) sometimes I'm guiding people to look inside. and it works. Since this break through, I'm not so obsessed any more with searching.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 10

[Artst]

Hi, xiaolongnu,

Welcome to Liberation Unleashed :). Glad you made it here. 

My name is Robyn, and I can be your guide if that's okay with you. 

I will do my best to guide you with questions as you requested. I will point the direction and you will be doing the work. 

A couple of things before proceeding: 

-Here's a link that shows how to use the quote function: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fAToDNh9hQ[/

-Please try to keep up posting every day if you can for the sake of momentum; However things come up of course and that's okay, just let me know when you're unable to respond and I will do the same for you. 

-Think of this as writing in a journal, feel free to be 100% honest and just write what's true for you. It's generally helpful to put aside teachings, books, and videos for the time being so you can be more available to focus on your own experience. That's where we'll look. 

If you're okay with everything so far, we can start. 

Warmly,
Robyn

[xiaolongnu]

Hi Robyn,
thank you so much for your reply.
At this moment i'm in a challenging situation. After years of illness, my husband is coming to the end of his life. However there is such a fearlessness, calmness and stillness in myself that i realize that when this illusion of me disappears, true love just flows so beautifully! Of course there are moments that attachment arises, and i feel difficult to let go, and then i found myself kind of falling into the stories. But then, yesterday evening i suddenly realized that even identification happened, it was not a mistake! because nobody is doing it! Only this 'Me' believes that it fails again. What a freedom!

It seems that in this process of my husband's dying, my own spiritual journey gets intensified and some how sped up. It is like his physical death matches another death--- the dying of the illusive me.

warmly,
Mei

[Artst]

Dear Mei,

Thank you deeply for sharing all this with me. I'm so glad that you are experiencing a freedom in the face of the challenges at hand.

It seems that in this process of my husband's dying, my own spiritual journey gets intensified and some how sped up. It is like his physical death matches another death--- the dying of the illusive me.

Yes, I can see how that would be.

Mei, what would serve you best? Would you like for me to give you some time for all this to sink in and then reconnect or would you like to proceed with questions to make sure you have seen through all the aspects of the illusion?

Sending love,

Robyn

[xiaolongnu]

Dear Robyn,
thank you so much! I can feel your love.

what would serve you best?

Yes i just want to continue with this process. Yesterday I was in hospital with my husband talking to our doctor. Together we decided to stop the treatment and he wished to come home. It was a very emotional moment of course. Tears just pouring out. And then when the nurse came to withdraw the intravenous supply, there was suddenly a strong sense of anxiety and fear in me. Then i quickly said to myself: go to this sensation, don't run away, feel it, you are holding it. and then, there was calmness again. Later when i was alone with my husband, that peace, that stillness, even some kind of mysterious joy were there again. This sounds like some kind of state. But i realize it is the nature, effortless, untouchable state of being, this is how it always is, so familiar. Ant it is out this fearlessness, I feel tremendous love for my husband.

Today my husband probably will come home, if all those things get arranged. At this moment i'm sitting here alone, looking into myself. There are some anxiety, i can feel it in my chest. By looking at it deeply, i see it is the fear for the unknown, fear for a dead body. And the fear seems to stay there. can you guide me on this?

In spite of this very intense time of my life, I realize how miraculous life is. That totally by coincidence, this guidance is coming to me in such a way. I'm so so grateful!
love
Mei

[xiaolongnu]

p.s. people always say to me: ' oh how difficult, how terrible, how sad is all what is happening.' somehow i find it difficult or bit weird to hear. because they all talking to that ' me' , almost like pulling me into the story of 'me' .
love
Mei

[Artst]

Dear Mei,

Thank you for what you wrote.

Not much time now but wanted to write back, albeit briefly. We really don't counsel, just guide people to see completely through the illusion.

Here's my suggestion: look into the fear as it's happening. See if you can distinguish among body sensations, emotions and thoughts. There's life experience happening and that's all. Can these things be controlled? Is there a controller?

Sending love,

Robyn

[xiaolongnu]

Thank you Robyn for your pointing.

See if you can distinguish among body sensations, emotions and thoughts. There's life experience happening and that's all. Can these things be controlled? Is there a controller

?
yes, i can distinguish body sensations, emotions and thoughts. Sometimes body sensations are caused by emotions, but not always. No, they can't be controlled just like hiccups coming up. They just arise or appear. There is no controller. The controller is just a thought being believed by another thought. Thank you for asking this, helping me to see a subtle attempt of trying to control things, in this case, the fear.
love
Mei

[Artst]

Hi, Mei,

I'm glad that the suggestions of what to look into were helpful.

To take this line a step further...

Sometimes body sensations are caused by emotions, but not always.

Look some more. Are body sensations caused by emotions or is this a thought?

Mei, because of your unusual situation, I invite continued sharing about how you are. Also feel free to ask any specific assistance you see would be helpful.

Sending love,

Robyn

[xiaolongnu]

Hallo Robyn,
thanks for the question.

Are body sensations caused by emotions or is this a thought?

Certain emotions, like fear, or anger or sadness can bring about certain physical reactions/body sensations.
This statement of '' body sensation can be caused by emotions'' is indeed a thought. The sensation itself is not a thought, but it comes and goes just like thought. But I'm kind of stuck here, even i see it, what then??

I think these are the very final days of my husband, all kinds of things are happening. Each day new challenges. There are experiences of calmness, peace also sadness... there are moments i find all too much and difficult to cope with--- then i realized that it is just a thought, but at the same there is a sensation of heaviness--- and I realized again that this is just life happening. But, it seems i need to remind myself of this. And I wonder have i turned this ' all is just life happening' into a thought?
In another reply of yours, you mentioned that you don't do any counselling, just guiding people to see through. I'm bit confused. did what i wrote implied asking for counselling? perhaps you can explain a bit more? I definitely very much appreciate your guidance--- asking the good questions.

I might not be able to write every day because of the situation at home. But I will try.
Love
Mei

[Artst]

Dear Mei,

This statement of '' body sensation can be caused by emotions'' is indeed a thought. The sensation itself is not a thought, but it comes and goes just like thought.

Yes.

But I'm kind of stuck here, even i see it, what then??

This question, how does it relate to direct experience? Is it thought?

I think these are the very final days of my husband, all kinds of things are happening. Each day new challenges. There are experiences of calmness, peace also sadness...

It's so much...

and I realized again that this is just life happening.

yes - so helpful.

And I wonder have i turned this ' all is just life happening' into a thought?

It is a thought, right? Some thoughts are useful. Where and what is this "I" that's wondering?

did what i wrote implied asking for counselling?

Mei, in one message, "And the fear seems to stay there. can you guide me on this?" That's the reason for the message about counseling. Fear may arise and arise, even when the illusion "I" is completely seen through.

I definitely very much appreciate your guidance--- asking the good questions.

Pleasure, Mei. It's a two-way street.

Sending love,

Robyn

p.s. It's fine to answer when possible, Mei. No rush.

[xiaolongnu]

Dear Robyn,

So I'm back again. My beloved husband and the father of our sons passed away on 25 of April. I have had such profound, magic and sacred experiences before,during and even after his death. The last evening I was sitting besides his bed, he was dying but clear in his mind. I was just in bliss, no fear, no attachment, no sadness or whatsoever. There was only pure joy and love, nothing in between. So i knew exactly how to be with him. It felt like stepping right into the heart of the flower of death. I was totally fascinated by its stunning beauty.

The very next day after his death, I was looking at him intensively. Suddenly there was a 'shocking' realization that that body was not my husband! ...all was not real, even the death, which was an ultimate evidence to show us that body/mind was just an illusion! Death is like a gateless gate through which we are set free, forever. There is a much deeper understanding of death.

Of course there are moments of intense sadness, grieving and missing. But there is no fear for any emotions or thoughts which may be arising. All is just life happening. It is so liberating just to realize this.

The questions you asked me in your last reply was great! I got it! it was such a thrill to be caught! and thank you so much.
I believe (the language) that it is done. so now there is no question. just like i told you before that the physical death of my husband seems indeed match the death of an illusive me. It is so wonderful to live life directly, without the filtering of the mind.

much love
Mei

[Artst]

Dear Mei,

What an amazing experience! It must have made it so easy for your husband to make the transition.

There is a much deeper understanding of death.

Lovely!

Of course there are moments of intense sadness, grieving and missing.

Yes. My deepest condolences for the loss of your beloved.

The questions you asked me in your last reply was great! I got it! it was such a thrill to be caught! and thank you so much.

I'm glad they were helpful.

I believe (the language) that it is done. so now there is no question. just like i told you before that the physical death of my husband seems indeed match the death of an illusive me. It is so wonderful to live life directly, without the filtering of the mind.

If you would like to 'tie up the package,' Mei, I can send you the final questions for you to answer. They would allow you to make sure that all of it is clear for you. Also, I would share your answers with other guides to see if they have any questions for me to check on with you. Then, you would be invited to join the private online groups for those who have crossed the gateless gate via Liberation Unleashed. Do you want me to sent them to you?

Also, should you ever want to become a guide, this would be part of the process.

Mei, sending great love and light, <3

Robyn

[xiaolongnu]

Dear Robyn

of the mind.
If you would like to 'tie up the package,' Mei, I can send you the final questions for you to answer.

.
Oh please do send me!!

those who have crossed the gateless gate via Liberation Unleashed. Do you want me to sent them to you?

oh this would be too great!!

I'm very much looking forward to getting those final questions.

much love and many thanks
mei

[Artst]

Dear Mei,

Here are the questions. I hope you enjoy them.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.  

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.  What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Much love and gratitude for sharing your journey with me,

Robyn