Wake the f**k up

[smashme]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
From reading books by Jed, De Mello and listening to 100s of youtube videos, I "understand" it to mean that the person I call "I" or "Ashley" does not exist. That it is a fictional character that I take to be real. everything I see, hear or touch is self referential.. EVERYTHING.

What are you looking for at LU?
Truth. For the story lines to be over. to see life as it is actually happening in real time. I have had experiences but have felt stuck for some time and have also had doubt that it (whatever it is) will not happen. Till I was sent the "gate-less gate".

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
for someone to see between my BS and to share their knowledge on "walking through the gate". I have read some of the book, so I don't know that I have expectations. Just would like someone to help....

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I have had a friend, who is awakened, we have been chatting for a year or two. Have read Jed, Tolle, Richard Rohr and De Mello books. Have had a regular meditation practice for several years (serious in the last 6 months) and have done self inquiry.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 10

[Artst]

Hi, Smashme,

Welcome to Liberation Unleashed. :-) Glad you made it here.

My name is Robyn, and I can be your guide if that's okay with you. Like you, I came to Liberation Unleashed in search of truth.

I will do my best to guide you to see that "I” doesn't exist, is just an illusion.

A couple of things before proceeding:

-Here's a link that shows how to use the quote function: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fAToDNh9hQ[/

-Please try to keep up posting every day if you can for the sake of momentum; however things come up of course and that's okay, just let me know when you're unable to respond and I will do the same for you.

-Think of this as writing in a journal. Feel free to be 100% honest and just write what's true for you. It's generally helpful
to put aside teachings, books, and videos for the time being so you can be more available to focus on your own experience. That's where we'll look.

If you're okay with everything so far, we can start.

Warmly,

Robyn

[smashme]

Good morning Robyn,

Thank you for responding quickly. I appreciate your time.

I would like very much to work with you. I’m ashley, btw. Headed to work this morning, so I am out of pocket till tonight. Will check in again later.

Thank you,

Ashley

[smashme]

Good evening Robyn,

I have watched the video on how to use the "Quote" tool. I do understand the suggestion to set aside teachings, books and videos. Will do my best.

I look forward to working with you, please let me know what is next.

Ashley

[Artst]

Hi, Ashley,

Great! We're all set.

I'll begin asking you questions and your answers will guide my guiding. ;-)

The first topic is your expectations -- both the ones you are already aware of and the ones you discover as a result of being asked.

So... outside of finding out what's really true, what do you expect to happen as a result of this?
What do you want to not happen?
What are you hoping for?
Please make a list of all the things that 'should' be different when you realize there’s no separate self.

I look forward to your reply.

Sending love,

Robyn

[smashme]

Hello Robyn,

An expectation that I have as a result of this, is that my mind will have peace. That it will not be so self-referential, judgmental and arrogant. Being able to enjoy moments (even in chaos). To come to know Love.

I do not want to become detached from the man I am dating.

I am hoping to awaken, for bliss and to be ok. To come to know the power underlying all.

Things that should be different:
Relationships become more loving
Thoughts will be based in reality and not in my storyline or perception
Insights will occur
Less dualistic thinking
Laughter
Deep affection and care for others well-being that is not motivated by selfishness or the need to get
To see this body and who I am – for REAL
Less separateness between “me” and the world.
To truly be helpful to other people in getting free

Ashley

[Artst]

Dear Ashley,

Those all sound so wonderful! It is good to express the hopes and expectations in order to take them out of the “background” and bring them to the “foreground.” Now, I ask you to set aside your expectations and be open to however it goes.

The point here is to get at the truth and do it experientially, so that it is undeniable. If and when that happens, you will know the truth of “no self” and it will be obvious that it is reality. Seeing no I is similar to the discovery that there's no Santa Claus. Just as you may see a man in a red Santa suit yet know that he's not Santa Claus.

From this point forward, I ask that you answer by looking newly from just your experience, not from anything you have learned from others and not from any kind of reasoning or theorizing. This is your process and I'm here to support you through the work you will be doing.

If you look for the I, what is there? Can you describe what you find?

I look forward to your reply.

With love,

Robyn

p.s. Please let me know if you feel unable or unwilling to put aside your expectations, ok?

[smashme]

Good morning Robyn,

Another expectation I have had is sensations, Vibes or “energy” if you will. I am willing to set aside that and the others wrote about yesterday.

When I look for the I, I see my body or figure. Like when I am thinking about certain situations or memories, that is what I see. Or thoughts in the background – I guess you can say. Like there is a voice in the foreground and a smaller voice in the background.

Ashley

[Artst]

Hi, Ashley,

Thanks for your reply.

I see my body or figure

Ok. Is the body "I?" Is there some entity you can locate that owns the body ("my body")?

Like there is a voice in the foreground and a smaller voice in the background.

When you say voice, do you mean thoughts? Can you describe more about there being two? We are looking for what is observably there.

Looking forward to your reply, Ashley.

Sending love,

Robyn

[smashme]

Hi there,

Ok. Is the body "I?" Is there some entity you can locate that owns the body ("my body")?

I logically can see that there is no entity that can own the body. I just relate this body to being Ashley through my thoughts.

When you say voice, do you mean thoughts? Can you describe more about there being two? We are looking for what is observably there.

Yes, the voices are thoughts. I have become aware of a running stream of thoughts in the background and another stream of thoughts in the foreground. The thoughts are self-referential to “me or I”

The thoughts in the background are made up of fear, self-delusion, desire and control. The foreground thoughts seem to be that of reason, logic and being in the now.

BTW - I am in Texas, so Central Time Zone. Where might you be?

Ashley

[Artst]

Hi, Ashley,

I logically can see that there is no entity that can own the body.

Ok. Take a look and see if there is a separate entity anywhere that thoughts refer to as "I." (The word "cup" for example, refers to a physical object.) Do you find an I anywhere that the thought/label "I" refers to?

my thoughts

Is there an I to whom the thoughts belong?

Yes, the voices are thoughts.

Good!

The thoughts in the background are made up of fear, self-delusion, desire and control. The foreground thoughts seem to be that of reason, logic and being in the now.

Is there really a foreground and a background, as in physically? If so, please describe their locations.

I'm in Austin, Texas! Where are you?

Sending love,

Robyn

[smashme]

Good morning Robyn,

There is no separate entity that can be seen that refers as I. There is no “I”

To me there is a foreground and a background . The foreground seems to be behind my eyes and forehead and the background is in the back of my head.

Cool. I am in Dallas! Have a lovely winter Day. I am headed to work..

Ashley

[smashme]

Hey lady,

So on the subject of “i” - I don’t see that there is no “I”

And I am frustrated about that. 🙁

I look foward to hearing from you

Ash

[Artst]

Dear Ashley,

Not to worry. No rush. You're doing great.

Early this morning, you wrote:

There is no separate entity that can be seen that refers as I. There is no “I”

A little while ago:

I don’t see that there is no “I”

Can you explain what happened? Did thoughts kick in that insist on the existence of I? Or if not, what?

Love,

Robyn

p.s. Cool that we live so close!

[smashme]

Hi Robyn,

Out of trying to understand and agreeing with you I said there was no "I" but I can't honestly say that I know that. I don't get it.

I have read a lot about this but have not seen past it.

Take a look and see if there is a separate entity anywhere that thoughts refer to as "I." (The word "cup" for example, refers to a physical object.) Do you find an I anywhere that the thought/label "I" refers to?

When you say take a look and see, what do you mean? I also, was unsure if I could ask questions, so I agreed.