Gone through the gate?

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Tiwana
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Gone through the gate?

Postby Tiwana » Sun Oct 22, 2017 10:38 am

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?*
To say no self implies self. No self can only exist if thier is self. black implies white good implies bad. i am That I AM
not the one the mind labeled creating duality.

What are you looking for at LU?
Read my experience iv questioned and questioned but dont see any further? I am sure i cant question further for it will lead to that one truth I AM/I DIE no self true self. but i don't know have i gone through i can answer every zen koan immediately but this cant be it right? Though i know it is.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
A guide through the end. Understand post enlightenment is their further something i'm missing. Because i made it. But thier was no BIG BANG or death awareness so im unsure. So im seeking the advice here.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practice, seeking and enquiry?
This might be long but it was something else.
Every step was a destruction this one was truly great.
To ask a question you need to know.
2+2= implies you know numbers exist. they can be added.
how do i get enlightenment?
implies "enlightenmnt" lets just start thier and zoom down and down
We eventually discover something intersting
Is good true?
implies good so what is good?
......not bad
Some words just point to each other
u need good for bad happy for sad they are two sides of a coin
But we can go further.
I believe i will die and everything will end and be useless.
I want to get enlightened b4 i die
2 contradictory beliefs.
Why struggle to become enlightened if you just die and its useless just like everything else?
Out of the two believes i believe one more than the other the belief i will die.
........now instead of digging down we work up
The mind labels everything chair. person hot, this, that
I know its just this. THAT I AM
Because its always here
The mind learns to label and the first thing it labels is itself the first lie the original sin it labels this awareness of self I
And the other side of I or self is Noself/death
Self arises, death arises, duality arises, Time arises, Space arises
The fear of death causes the mind to spin into duality causing belief on belief on belief all based on the first believe
All thoughts lead back to this first label.
I AM
I DIE
BUT I AM THAT I AM. not the label
Maya is created a world of dream labels leading to labels supported by the web of experiences and sensation.
None of it True though just a dream world of labels.
Ur just "awareness" that cant ever be known cuz thats in labels u just are here.
Can thier be further? But to imply further it will just lead back here through questions.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about self?
11

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Tiwana
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Re: Gone through the gate?

Postby Tiwana » Mon Oct 23, 2017 12:07 am

I was contemplating again today.
Thoughts are symbols they are not the actual physical object
Chair doesn't represent a CHAIR. It represents a SOUND
Were using sound to translate reality

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Tiwana
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Re: Gone through the gate?

Postby Tiwana » Mon Oct 23, 2017 2:22 am

But wait we can go further.
All right but what about good or bad
chair can represent CHAIR in the world
But where the hell is GOOD or EVIL representing?
They are abstractions symbolize whatever you want as good or evil its up to the society.
Some head hunting society praised killing we consider it evil.
the abstraction is NOT TRUE/REAL BUT THE CHAIR IN PHYSICAL or REALITY IS REAL.
Abstractions are dreams
We can make a broad stroke here now
buddha statue no its abstraction its a ROCK
Enlightenment no its abstraction its a THOUGHT
Good no its abstraction
Hero no its a abstraction
Anger no its a abstraction its a FEELING
love no its a abstractions its a FEELING
perhaps this is why in buddhism they have a "method to enlightenment called insight or noting"
youu note everything that arises as sight sound touch feeling thought.
.......But then what about i where is the I
i is an abstraction you take SIGHT SOUND FEELING THOUGHT. and then create i
But THE I IS THE SIGHT SOUND FEELING THOUGHT.
chair represents CHAIR
i represents all the SENSATION THAT ARISE OR YOU COULD SAY I
You are whatever is happening you are IT.

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Tiwana
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Re: Gone through the gate?

Postby Tiwana » Tue Oct 24, 2017 2:47 am

Nvm i dont know a damm thing. Its just a circle always end up at the same place where u started havnt moved a single step. all the insights useless araagrgargargargragra frustration.

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Tiwana
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Re: Gone through the gate?

Postby Tiwana » Tue Oct 24, 2017 4:58 am

Is it true English exists?
If i made a language out of tapping noises would those tapping all of a sudden mean something more? NO
Then what is English does it exists in reality? No
Then what the hell are you thinking in? what the hell are you typing?
I don't know these words make sense i can talk to you
who are you?
i ask i question myself
how do i make sense of this noise?
u dont
who the hell are you how can i ask a question and answer it?
who's answering who's questioning?
Me
Who question
me
Who answers
me
That doesn't make sense how can you ask a question and answer it yourself that mean you already knew the answer.
Is it true theirs a me?
What are you scared of?
i dont wanna die i dont wanna die its all meaninglessness where am i what am i im scared who are youj what am i its all meangingless im gunna disappear forever nothing matter nothing makes sense who why hwo whyo whyn why nwhyy who hwo hjwyn why?
Why do you want to live?
Is it true you want to live?
im scared of not being but i know its the truth its all gunna end and it can end at any time
Thiers no escape
Ahh the fear the terror im on half a tab of LSD so its magnified this terror across me my own meaninglessness
Good yes i embrace this fear whats behind it come come whats behind you my fear
Ill help you
you are going to die
Everything you do is meaningless
It will be like you never even existed
success power fame woman all will disappear
ALL WILL DISAPPEAR
YOU WILL DIE
Dont run you arnt gunna change your life. you arnt gunna get enlighteneed and become buddha
YOU COULD DIE IN YOUR SLEEP TONIGHT NOW WHAT WILL YOU DO? YOU DIE YOU MIGHT DIE TONIGHT WHAT NOW?
WHAT WOULD YOU DO RIGHT NOW IF YOU DIED TONIGHT?
ahhh the fear its gone nothing to it its just fear is it tho?
This state im in imma take some more LSD and contemplate my own death the entire time and try to get that fear to enter every pore of my body.
im going to really get to the bottom of this fear what is it. is it true? what is it hiding?
ill post tom.

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Tiwana
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Re: Gone through the gate?

Postby Tiwana » Tue Oct 24, 2017 7:07 am

Iv seen maya damm.
i was doing my heroic i face death thing
it flipped then i had profound insights
-me an enviroment are one
-everything arising is me
you know the typical but then for some reason since it was such a habit i questioned is it true theirs an environment?
and it all collapsed i was in the framework of me vs fear of death then i jumped to the turtle or framework of
the environment is one everything is one its all push pull
but i never left the framework i was just dancing along even now
is it me vs frameworks or conceptions
but that just makes another framework
everywhere i turn its maya theres no escape all conception is maya maya is god
now i understand what ug meant by i dont know if im alive or dead or even enlightened
All his framework conceptions had dropped.
The same happened to u 2 right?
wait a minute iv just realized something as im typing this
for us to talk it has to be in maya world of conception and framework
even i can only exist in the framework ohhhhh shit ohhhh shit i see.
ahahahhaha if i framework drops i drop. SHIT. SHIT.
u guys wernt jokin i will diseapper with the framework
enlightenment is in the framework
thas y i cant be enlightenment shit it all makes sense now.
Thiers no going back now is their iv seen the framework built ill never be able to fully believe it again
im disillusioned and now im gunna believe less and less till it drops but what then i cant even imagine since its beyond conception HELP.

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Tiwana
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Re: Gone through the gate?

Postby Tiwana » Tue Oct 24, 2017 7:37 pm

HOOOLY SHIT no way. its all god. Holy shit its all god everythigs it its just all god. How could i have missed this no self the trues self is god true self is reality. This is it .Im typing its not me typing its god itll always be god the answer
WHAT IS TRUTH
Ltteraly anything i say or do could be the answer to thats koan. all god hoooly shit its all god all reality all the time this is it its always this never not.

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Tiwana
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Re: Gone through the gate?

Postby Tiwana » Thu Oct 26, 2017 2:51 am

Kill the buddah. everything is god happening from god byt who is this witness. My self has no jut hidden as a witness duality is still thier. iv noticed tho thier is a space between thoughts. Iv been going into that space more and more and its getting bigger and bigger. Every time a thought arises i just ask a question like who is thinking it or is it true and that poins me directly to that space letting me rest thier.

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Ilona
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Re: Gone through the gate?

Postby Ilona » Fri Oct 27, 2017 5:15 pm

Hi Tiwana :)
Welcome to the forum.
How is it going today?
Are you still looking for something or all is becoming obvious and clear?

Sending love

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Tiwana
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Re: Gone through the gate?

Postby Tiwana » Sat Oct 28, 2017 2:51 am

Hi Tiwana :)
Welcome to the forum.
How is it going today?
Are you still looking for something or all is becoming obvious and clear?

Sending love
Its going. And im still looking but i know theirs no answer so i just try resting in that silent space between thoughts. And if any thought arises i ask it a question that point back on itself. Always in that empty space i try to remain.

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Ilona
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Re: Gone through the gate?

Postby Ilona » Sat Oct 28, 2017 2:11 pm

Beautiful.. yes, that silent space between the thoughts opens up and that's where just being is felt.
Are you still looking for an answer if there is a separate self/I?
What is a self? How does it work?

Sending love

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Tiwana
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Re: Gone through the gate?

Postby Tiwana » Sun Oct 29, 2017 3:01 am

Beautiful.. yes, that silent space between the thoughts opens up and that's where just being is felt.
Are you still looking for an answer if there is a separate self/I?
What is a self? How does it work?

Sending love
Thoughts, Experiences, insights arise from nowhere then disappear back into nowhere.
self is the mind hallucinating. It takes thoughts to be "mine" separating it artificially from the totality.
Then because its separate their has to be a being their
thus creating the self.
But its not separate you cant differentiate yourself from whats happening unless a thought comes.
Now heres the tricky part how do we get the flashlight to shine on itself?
Everything arises in awareness so how could you?
It cant be an experience, thought, feeling, insight because those are just the light coming from awareness.

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Ilona
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Re: Gone through the gate?

Postby Ilona » Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:34 pm

Ok, is awareness something separate from its content?
You say all comes from awareness.. is that so?

Look around, see colours. Now is seeing colour separate from awareness of colour? Can you see how words: colour, seeing, awareness of colour, knowing of colour, knowing of seeing are different ways to describe the same thing. So where is that awareness outside of colour? Is awareness like a bucket from which sounds, colours, smells arise, or it's just a way to describe?

Investigate this and wrtie what is true.

Sending love

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Tiwana
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Re: Gone through the gate?

Postby Tiwana » Sun Oct 29, 2017 11:46 pm

Ok, is awareness something separate from its content?
You say all comes from awareness.. is that so?

Look around, see colours. Now is seeing colour separate from awareness of colour? Can you see how words: colour, seeing, awareness of colour, knowing of colour, knowing of seeing are different ways to describe the same thing. So where is that awareness outside of colour? Is awareness like a bucket from which sounds, colours, smells arise, or it's just a way to describe?

Investigate this and wrtie what is true.

Sending love
A soccer game is going on a guy in a black shirt runs by.
I saw a black shirt guy run thorugh
i was aware of black shirt guy.
He might have ran across your sight and you might not even have noticed because you were focused on the ball. Your eyes "saw" him yet you didn't
Sight= awareness sound= awareness sensation=awareness
Their the same thing
Even thoughts are awareness awareness is thought.
I am= awareness therefore I am= Everything
i am the sight i am the sound i am the thought i am the color i am everything.
Is awareness like a bucket from which sounds, colours, smells arise?
Asking this something flashed in my mind.
Awareness is
A flower undergoing a thousand blossoms each blossom is sound color smell and then it closes
Exactly like 0:00-0:05 and then 3:25-3:30 in this video watch 0:00-0:05 and then right after 3:25-3:30 thas exactly how it showed in my mind.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8W4LyIXINE

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Tiwana
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Re: Gone through the gate?

Postby Tiwana » Mon Oct 30, 2017 12:15 am

tbh something doesn't feel right about that reply i feel like im overlooking something.
Honestly i dont know anything anymore. Nothing makes sense all this talk just doesnt make sense
Where are we? Just woke up one day nobody know anything all its ridiculous.
A glowing star that can feed us vitamin D
If it wasn't reality that sounds like science fiction
Not just the sun everything about life is just as ridiculous if you really think about it.
I dont know thats my honest answer i dont know a damm thing about anything.
If you were here id just stare at you in the eyes that would be the only reply i could give.
The reply i gave makes me feel ungenuine i dont even know what i said
i dont even know if i believe it
You ask i answered but it doesnt seem real.
Who answered how did i answer i know not it just happned
Just like now ill hit send not even believing in this
what am i saying why am i saying it?
Who knows?
Im gonna go make some tea would you like some?


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