Noticing lots of things now. Nothing much has changed yet my perspective has changed on them. I can see reactions forming in my brain-thoughts to different things and have a sense of distance from it.Lovely! Yes, it’s quite strange- nothing changed, but everything looks different :)
Looking back to before we started this conversation, what are the biggest noticeable differences?
What has changed, what hasn’t?
Are your expectations met?
What else do you notice?
Hugs and love!
All of the stories are spinning just as strongly, yet I see it's not me. Just happenings, like a little windup toy, winding down. Not like I'm watching from afar...kind of hard to explain. The feelings from the first couple of days or looking deeply into people and things seem to have faded a bit too.
When I close my eyes and sit quietly there is a different quality of spaciousness. Like it is, and was, always there. Also, anxiety, doubt, self made suffering, seems like I am seeing that differently too. Anything having to do with conceptualizing and labeling seems to have receded a bit.
At the same time, I have no expectations that this "State" will last, nor do I really want it to. Doesn't seem to matter what happens anymore, all is as it is.
It kind of reminds me of a childhood dream where I caught a beautiful chicken and put it under my arm. When I woke up I was so disappointed that the chicken wasn't still there. I wake up every day somewhat forgetful, then remember that I'm not what I thought I was anymore. Not quite sure what I am though, either, probably nothing, emptiness, taking shape in this vessel of a body-mind, for the time being. Even when and if I forget this, it will still be the case, so I do see that bit too.
As to what's not different, I think I expected waves of bliss, angels with trumpets, hopefully some kind of psychic powers. Not really, but I expected more different things to happen. Over the last week I had rainbows and waterfalls...so that was quite sufficient. Just what is, is enough.
I also expected that I could get out of meditating, but I am finding it helpful in grounding myself, as usual.
So I can't really say that I went through some kind of gateless gate, or that anything has really changed. I will see if this perspective shift is lasting.
Much love to you and thank you for your continued efforts to help others, and me, see!