Tell me what is that wants things to be different?
The story, the part of the personality construct that still believes it can control life, is the only thing that wants it to be different...I don't claim it as me anymore, but I still give attention to it as though it is me...trying to let go of that feeling, that this construct of ideas, beliefs, automatic reactions, is the only me.
What is that wants to control how life should go?
Not me, just some automated programmed responses from past conditioning, wants to control everything.
Is this something you do or it happens on its own?
I'm not really "doing" anything anymore, just playing out the story...distraction and identifying with the personality, feelings of separation, all are happening, but I don't really believe in the story anymore...just like Santa Claus!
At the same time, nothing has changed or shifted, that may be part of the story, that something should or could shift.
Does wanting things to be different help? Does wanting grant the outcome?
If anything, the wanting is keeping me in the story...I know I'm not out of the present, that awareness of everything is happening all the time, yet it still feels like the story, labeling, words, reactiveness, is running things.
Trying to let it all go....I am practicing the exercise of thanking all of the emotions, fear, stubbornness...for their help and inviting them to retire.
How does it feel to want something and not see it happening?
Feels sad and frustrating...like the whole exercise is just another thought experiment, or belief system. On a larger scale in my life, all the disappointments, suffering and fears seem to be so heavy that there will never be any cessation...just brief moments of happiness constantly shifting and dependent on time and moods.
What would life be like without wanting things to be different?
Seems like it would be perfect, to live without anticipating the future or living in imagination...also without idealizing or regretting the past...just living in the present.
Describe with whole honesty how you see now.
May you be happy! Love to you too.