Ready & Willing to see thru the Illusion of Self

[creative]

Unsure as to how to jump in here ....
TY for the help .....

[Ingen]

Hi creative!

You jumped at the right place (there is no other).

Would you tell me a little bit about you, how you came here and what your expectations are?

[creative]

I found mention of this site thru
http://theawakeneddreamer.com/ ...and cannot remember how I found that site .

I feel this journey to be relavent to a purpose but it eludes me ....
and yet ... the purpose seems to be only in the moment & no where else....
A certain insanity envelopes me as I wander thru my day ...knowing & believing that no-thing really matters....
Yet ...a certain look around the corner catches me to see where I',m going ....
TY for receiving me ....

[creative]

I found mention of this site thru
http://theawakeneddreamer.com/ ...and cannot remember how I found that site .

I feel this journey to be relavent to a purpose but it eludes me ....
and yet ... the purpose seems to be only in the moment & no where else....
A certain insanity envelopes me as I wander thru my day ...knowing & believing that no-thing really matters....
Yet ...a certain look around the corner catches me to see where I',m going ....
TY for receiving me ....

[Ingen]

Do you know what this forum is about?

I can help you to see through the illusion of self. Not more and not less. It requires from your side to be 100%honest. It also requires that you write in a manner that I can understand. I don't understand much of what you are saying in your last post...

The procedure is that I give you questions, and you post your answers , at least once a day.

Could you make a list of what your expectations are?

[creative]

I am seeking the freedom of seeing thru the illusion of self ...EGO ...
I am aware of many forms of study & beliefs....
I come HERE.. now to release my beliefs ....
I am ready to live in this life with the purpose I was born to live .... as a guide .
I am understanding now that I carry suffering around .... I want to release this ..
I want to release the restrictions that prevent me from living fully as ONE with all of existence.
TY for your kind guidance.

[Ingen]

Thank you, creative, for getting this on the table. We'll take a look at this later.

Ok, let's start.

What comes up if I say:

There is no self. There is no YOU. Nothing, zero.

[creative]

I can grasp this momentarily ...
It means nothing to me ...
Perhaps ... this nothing of me is what pulls me to think & fell that my life is over here...
I am no loinger interested in most things anymore... especially the things I use to love or look forward to .
I know nothing is permanent .... there for I also have begun to see that the impermanence is an illusion of the existence in the 1st place..... so ... if there is no self.... how utterly boring ...

[Ingen]

Are you saying you are seeing that the self is an illusion, and that everything is impermanent, and you find this state of affairs boring?

[creative]

Yes ... I believe i am ... I am very bored & chllenged with this thinkning....
I am an ectrraordinary artist ...most hapopoy when creating fromt he purness of the moment ...
Amused @ what I am capable of doing ... and bored if the process gets too taking too long...
So .. if the Self if non existent ... then talents or cretive intuition doesn't matter...

I'm hearing from those who transend the mind SELF ...hear a calm release ... no more chatter...
If this is the ulimate ... I look forward to it ...
I'm no longer charmed by this physical existence....
Please ... offer what you may ....
TY

[Ingen]

It sounds though as you are "charmed by this physical existence":

I am an ectrraordinary artist ...most hapopoy when creating fromt he purness of the moment ...
Amused @ what I am capable of doing ... and bored if the process gets too taking too long...

so, what's the problem? The process of creating takes too long, sometimes?

[creative]

aaaahhhh....I think I'm colliding with the NEED TO make a life
and the desire to let "IT" just happen ..... as my art ...just happens...IF I show up with the tools to create it ..
..hmmmm

[Ingen]

Is there a "you" which is "making life happen" ?

[creative]

outside the box of what I've been taught ... NO ...there is no ME ...
But... inside the references in my brain & looking around.... "I" is the only thing that's constant .
The thought...the response...or just the observation....
I am feeliing more & more aware of just letting the voice say or be & not respond to it...

Is there a ME which is making life happen ..... somehow I come back to the ultimate ...What I think ~ "I AM"
Or "I Think " therefore "I Am" ....or Energy follows thought.... or "Where thought goes Energy follows .....
So ..am I making Life Happen ???? ... SOMETHING IS !!!!

[Ingen]

SOMETHING IS !!!!

yes

So ..am I making Life Happen ???? ...

No.

"Where thought goes Energy follows .....

How do you make your thoughts go someplace?