Stop the search

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ElPortal
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Location: France

Re: Stop the search

Postby ElPortal » Fri Jun 03, 2016 6:04 am

HI Claudia

Many thanks for explaining. So it looks as though some sense of separation is coming out of comparing the past 'blissful' experience with THIS experience right now, and finding a difference, is that right? Wanting to get that experience back? Feeling that THIS experience is lacking in comparison to THAT experience. Is that right?

Right now is that experience anywhere except in memory (T)?
Can THAT experience (T) be let go of in favour of THIS experience (E)? Please spend some time considering this and let me know what sensations come up, as well as answering the question.
This thought of expectation is also there because in a way, maybe because of the senses objecting everything, it is hard to see myself as part of this moment. I don't know how to explain this but, as I type this email, it is like I am here typing this email, and there is the sound over there from the other room. You have said before and I could see that it all happens in me, so it can't be separate from me. So maybe I need to analyse more close this sense perceptions. And what THIS moment really is. Does it happen in time? Is there time apart from me?

There is move to be friends with this moment, yes there is. But as long as I see this moment as separate from me, there will always be effort. I think the problem may lie there. I don't know what IS this moment? Actually is there a moment? In my mind there is. It makes IT into something. But I am starting to question this.
You have raised some really good questions here, Claudia. Would you like to look more deeply into thsese, once you have answered my questions above?

Cheers

Mark
"I": a simple case of mistaken identity.

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Nunes
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Location: United Kingdom

Re: Stop the search

Postby Nunes » Fri Jun 03, 2016 10:19 pm

Hi Mark,

I don't if I can say exactly that I am comparing moments. THIS moment and THAT experience. The only comparison is that at that time there was peace but that was a CONSEQUENCE of that seeing.

Is not that I want the experience. It's more that at that time it was clear that there was no one. I was in the moment, AS the moment.

In This moment I feel separate. Sounds are heard away from me E, sights objectify objects away from me E.

I can let go of that experience, which now is only T, BUT something I cannot let go.. What I saw! How can I forget that? It was the more intense, and real experience of my life. I know there is a way out of this little life of me.

There are no sensations coming up.

Yes I will contemplate the rest of the email also.

Love
Claudia

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ElPortal
Posts: 1148
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Location: France

Re: Stop the search

Postby ElPortal » Sat Jun 04, 2016 5:09 am

Ok let me know when you have contemplated the rest, and what comes up.
There are no sensations coming up.
So you have died then? How do you know you are alive?

Cheers

Mark
"I": a simple case of mistaken identity.

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Nunes
Posts: 130
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Location: United Kingdom

Re: Stop the search

Postby Nunes » Sat Jun 04, 2016 7:16 pm

Hi Mark,
So you have died then? How do you know you are alive?
ahah..=)
what i meant is that, there is no "special" sensations I could report as I investigated. Nothing apart from the normal, sounds at the distance E, feeling of the weigh of the body E, sights of the room E.

What I find is that there is a continuum of sensations.. nothing comes up apart from that, as for example, if these investigations made me nervous then probably I could report to you "beating faster of the heart" E, but there is nothing coming up AS I investigate. If it will I will let you know.
This thought of expectation is also there because in a way, maybe because of the senses objecting everything, it is hard to see myself as part of this moment. I don't know how to explain this but, as I type this email, it is like I am here typing this email, and there is the sound over there from the other room. You have said before and I could see that it all happens in me, so it can't be separate from me. So maybe I need to analyse more close this sense perceptions. And what THIS moment really is. Does it happen in time? Is there time apart from me?

There is move to be friends with this moment, yes there is. But as long as I see this moment as separate from me, there will always be effort. I think the problem may lie there. I don't know what IS this moment? Actually is there a moment? In my mind there is. It makes IT into something. But I am starting to question this.
What I find that is that no sound, sights, taste exists apart from me. This is all known because I am the substance that gives these life. Nothing in this world validates me. I validate everything.

One point that is still not clear is that. For instance, I hear a sound: the senses objectify the sound "out there", but the sound is heard "here" in my awareness. BUT, as I hear the sound there is a sense of a "me" hearing the sound. This me can only be a T, because my direct experience of the sound is "SOUND". My mind adds " I am hearing the sound".

My mind adds to everything: I am this... I am that.. I am doing this, I am hearing that.. as IF there is something else to my experience than WHAT IS HAPPENING!!
I think this is why it tricks me every time.

What is THIS moment:
maybe I could say "whatever" is happening is this moment. This seems logical.

I dont know how to go from here... My mind wants to help. But maybe the mind is the problem!

How do I know I exist without the mind, without me? Maybe you can ask me some questions for me to see the obvious?? I am stuck.

Love
Claudia

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ElPortal
Posts: 1148
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Location: France

Re: Stop the search

Postby ElPortal » Sun Jun 05, 2016 6:23 am

HI Claudia

In my very first response to you I wrote (which I have already quoted recently):-
In this investigation we are not looking into getting into any new state, nor getting anything new; we are simply looking into what already is, always has ben , and can only ever be the case. If you are up for this, then I may be able to accompany you.
I said 'I may be able to accompany you'. If there is not a readiness to see what has always been the case, then I cannot guide you. We will just to round in circles. Of course, you can try with another guide if you like.
I dont know how to go from here... My mind wants to help. But maybe the mind is the problem!
Yes, totally. As long as you are trying to get something with the mind, this is not it. This is not something to understand.

Rub your fingers gently together for a moment, and notice the sensation (E). THIS is as close as this sensation, but how can the mind (thought system) ever get that?
Slowly breathe in, noticing any subtle aroma on the breath (E). THIS is as close as this sensation, but how can the mind ever get that?

Claudia, maybe this is TOO simple for your mind? Maybe something more complicated and sophisticated is sought?
My mind adds to everything: I am this... I am that.. I am doing this, I am hearing that.. as IF there is something else to my experience than WHAT IS HAPPENING!!
I think this is why it tricks me every time.
So what? Do those thought DEMAND to be believed? Is there any NEED to believe them? And if they ARE being believed, is that such a disaster?

Cheers

Mark
"I": a simple case of mistaken identity.

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Nunes
Posts: 130
Joined: Wed May 04, 2016 1:45 am
Location: United Kingdom

Re: Stop the search

Postby Nunes » Mon Jun 06, 2016 9:42 pm

Hi Mark,

That's ok then.
Thank you for your time. I really appreciate all you did for me.
Thank you for helping.

All my gratitude
CLaudia Nunes


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