Need some help

[ssivey93]

cant quite understand the no self

[nonaparry]

Hi ssivey93. May I have a name to call you?

Could you fill in with a little information about your path and practices? It helps to establish any language or concepts that are easy to access and use in this process.
And lets start out with: how do you see your self?

[steve93]

yes, my name is Stephen; thank you for replying in my need of help. So I have been interested in being liberated after a friend explained everything to me and I started reading a lot of the one on one conversations to try and figure it out myself. I wanna know how it really feels to be liberated and just enjoy life. I see myself as a human being with a lot of negative thoughts, but always trying to think positive. I cant seem to know what I want in life and it confuses me, so I basically just try to fit in but its not really me. Idk if this is making sense but this is how I see myself.

[nonaparry]

Thanks Stephen.

Here's how we proceed. I'll ask questions. You investigate deeply, looking for your own truth and personal experience, not what you've read or heard from others. You must take your time, answering only when sure that you have found your truest response, no matter what it may be or what you think about it. It's an inquiry. I probe, you look deeply and respond back.
Answer at least once a day and answer from experience, not from your thinking about it.

Will you commit to 100% honesty and posting here at least once a day?

If so, my first question is what do you expect liberation to look like, feel like? What do you expect to be different when you are liberated?

[steve93]

Yes,I will be 100% honest with every question I answer.
Im not to sure what to expect liberation will look like, but I think it will make me feel more appreciative and make me become a part of this world instead of living a illusion. What I expect will be different when liberated, is my thought process, I want always worry about myself because their will be no self, and I fill like it will guide me to figure out what im suppose to do in life.

[nonaparry]

Thank you, Stephen.

You are already a part of this world; the only thing that prevents you from seeing it is a belief that you are not. We'll put the rest aside for right now and look at it again further along.

Now, tell me in detail what thoughts and feelings come up as you read this and let this thought into your mind:

There is no separate self, no entity 'me' at all in reality. None, zero. There is everything else, life is going on as always, but it's not happening to 'me'.

Notice all that is going on in thoughts and feelings and just put it down in writing.

[steve93]

The thoughts that pop up in my head when I think no "me" are confusing thoughts. If there is no me then what is there? and how am I suppose to make decisions if it doesn't involve me?

[nonaparry]

Good!
Next step is to LOOK. You cannot answer your question

If there is no me then what is there?

by THINKing about it. Observe. You tell Me: if there is no 'you', what is there? LOOK.

What experiences in your life require a 'you'? Is a 'you' needed to breathe? Is a 'you' needed to send directions to the muscles of your legs to tell them to walk?

If there is no me then what is there? and how am I suppose to make decisions if it doesn't involve me?

The story of self is that we make decisions. The physical reality is MRI brain scans show exactly what 'we' are going to decide 6 seconds before 'we' make the decision!

LOOK at whether a 'you' is required at all: breathing, typing, walking all happen. Go out of doors and LOOK around. What do you experience that actually requires a 'you'?

Write everything that comes to you in Experiencing this question. Don't Think.

Looking forward to your answer!

[steve93]

If there is no 'you' what is there?
just someone wanting to know the truth, and not be stuck in a illusion like everyone else because I know this is true, but its hard to come to realization. When I went outside I felt as if everything was just happening with no thought at all, and everything I do does not require a 'me' it just happens as if planned out kind of. Whatevers happening around me changes how I feel, and what im going to do. Idk if answered the questions properly but i tried.

[nonaparry]

its hard to come to realization.

No it's not. You just have to stop THINKing about it and LOOK at what is really happening.

When I went outside I felt as if everything was just happening with no thought at all, and everything I do does not require a 'me' it just happens as if planned out kind of.

YES!!! That is exactly it. Everything IS happening with no thought at all, and Everything you do does NOT require a 'you'! Breathing happens without your control or direction. Walking does not require you to send signals to the brain to say "shorten this muscle and lengthen that one; now do the opposite; compute where you are in space; adjust for uneven ground" when you are walking. These events happen without your direction or input. LOOK.

Spend the next day Noticing that nothing you do requires your decision or direction; your life runs perfectly well without you. Write to me about it.

[steve93]

Sorry I was not able to reply yesterday, but I did do a lot of observing yesterday and payed close attention to my actions throughout the day. I noticed how everything just seemed to flow, and didn't have to think about what I had to do. I was also in a very caring, and happy mood. Idk if I quite got it yet, but its feeling right.

[nonaparry]

That's okay Stephen. Try to post everyday if you can.

Please describe as fully as you are able this 'I' that did the observing yesterday. Whose actions were being observed? Everything just seemed to flow without thinking, so who does the action? Look carefully; where and what is the 'I'?

[nonaparry]

Are you still with me, Stephen??

[nonaparry]

Hello dear one. How's it going?