May I have a guide??

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EndofSeeking
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May I have a guide??

Postby EndofSeeking » Thu Aug 21, 2014 11:33 am

Hello,
I have been desperately seeking for like 6 years now..I have read hundreds of books, spent hundreds of hours watching videos, listened podcasts , bla bla... Also visted some teachers.. And went to many workshops, like self help and that pointless stuff..
Lately I have really started feel sick of the seek...I've been following some non duality authors that invite you to investigate to see the truth for yourself.. " know the truth and the truth will set you free" yeah that sounds nice.. but the seeking mode is still on here ... I can see that the one who is trying to end the seeking or see trough the self is the assumed separate entity that is running the show... So its pointless.. i have been reading the book Gateless Gatecrashers also, so I have an idea about what you do here..
During my investigation I have had some insights but the sense of self is always there.

I would really appreciate the help of someone and end this seeking once and for all!
Thank you,
Philipe

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Life
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Re: May I have a guide??

Postby Life » Thu Aug 21, 2014 12:14 pm

Hi Philipe, you have come to the right place ;)

Seeking will only end when clearly seen if seeker is really there or just myth...

Have you read the forum rules?
Life...... Are you separate from it?

http://machielovic-justbeing.blogspot.com/

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EndofSeeking
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Re: May I have a guide??

Postby EndofSeeking » Thu Aug 21, 2014 12:48 pm

Hello Life,
Yes I read the rules. =)
Look forward to see the myth

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Life
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Re: May I have a guide??

Postby Life » Thu Aug 21, 2014 2:39 pm

So you agree to post at least once a day?
To in general, allow me to ask the questions for you to respond to?
That responses have to be totally honest?
That responses are best from direct experience (felt senses and observed thoughts). Long winded analytical and philosophical answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress?
That you will put aside all other teachings, philosophies and such for the remainder of this investigation? Just to stay focussed on this proces.
Really put all your effort and attention in to seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily and essential meditation practice, it is fine to continue that.

And please make use of the quote function; instructions are located in the link above this forum.

Have you also read and agreed to the disclaimer? http://www.liberationunleashed.com

My advise is not to change anything else and to just observe what is already happening in life...
Life...... Are you separate from it?

http://machielovic-justbeing.blogspot.com/

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EndofSeeking
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Re: May I have a guide??

Postby EndofSeeking » Fri Aug 22, 2014 2:13 am

Hi,
Yes I agree 100% with the mentioned above.
I have a question though, these are my last days that Im staying overseas because I came here to visit a spiritual teacher...I am leaving to go back home next Thursday, so I will go to visit this teacher a couple of times more... As I can read above, you ask to put all other teachings aside.. So I think it would be better if we can start next Friday (29th August)..and then I can start to focus 100% percent in this investigation?
Please let me know.
Thanks

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Life
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Re: May I have a guide??

Postby Life » Fri Aug 22, 2014 11:09 am

That's ok, but then keep this question in mind: ''What are my expectations of posting on the LU forum?''Of seeing there is no you or self at all? What there comes up when you really seriously consider this... Just pick a moment these coming days and wonder ''what if it were already true?''
Life...... Are you separate from it?

http://machielovic-justbeing.blogspot.com/

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EndofSeeking
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Re: May I have a guide??

Postby EndofSeeking » Fri Aug 29, 2014 5:34 am

Hello,
Im back, and finally in my country.. My expectations here are to really see and be clear of my true nature..See and have a first hand experience.. I also see that for me suffering has been the fuel for this search, so of course I want to end this suffering because this self is very disfunctional sometimes..
These days Ive been reading the Gateles Gatecrashers and I can see that something is moving... there is an unraveling but very subtle..

Some days I stopped and contemplated what you said about that there is no separate self at all... I cannot say exactly what came up, but there was a fear I think about losing this world as I know it.. Its almost as if I will disappear.. or that this will become just an empty meaningless existence.. So I can see that there is an attachment to the story, because in some way I believe that life needs this separate self..or that this separate self is essential for this life..
So Im here ready to do this work and see this for myself!
Thanks Life..
I like your name by the way..
=)

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Re: May I have a guide??

Postby Life » Fri Aug 29, 2014 12:17 pm

Hello,
Im back, and finally in my country.. My expectations here are to really see and be clear of my true nature..See and have a first hand experience.. I also see that for me suffering has been the fuel for this search, so of course I want to end this suffering because this self is very disfunctional sometimes..
Welcome home :) Let's leave true natuere behind for now and focus on looking if there is a self at all which sees and experiences. Are you doing seeing any more than you are doing breathing or beating the heart?

Some days I stopped and contemplated what you said about that there is no separate self at all... I cannot say exactly what came up, but there was a fear I think about losing this world as I know it.. Its almost as if I will disappear.. or that this will become just an empty meaningless existence.. So I can see that there is an attachment to the story, because in some way I believe that life needs this separate self..or that this separate self is essential for this life..
So Im here ready to do this work and see this for myself!
Thanks Life..
I like your name by the way..
=)
Where is this fear now? Can you find if there is an experiencer behind fear or any other emotion? If there is no self it is already not there so nothing is lost or gained...

So tell me what and where and how is self right now? How would you describe it? Take time to look...
Life...... Are you separate from it?

http://machielovic-justbeing.blogspot.com/

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EndofSeeking
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Re: May I have a guide??

Postby EndofSeeking » Sat Aug 30, 2014 5:07 am

Welcome home :) Let's leave true natuere behind for now and focus on looking if there is a self at all which sees and experiences. Are you doing seeing any more than you are doing breathing or beating the heart?
No, the seeing is always ON, and its not an activity of “me” doing the seeing…it has nothing to do with “me” or not me. Its just happening. So in your question implies that the separate self has no capacity of seeing, so the “truth” cannot be seen by the assumed self..Am I right?


Where is this fear now? Can you find if there is an experiencer behind fear or any other emotion? If there is no self it is already not there so nothing is lost or gained...
This is when it gets tricky..If I stick with direct experience, when I look to find if there is an experiencer I just find the feeling there..However in my day to day experience it feels as if I am a subject who is having/ experiencing the feelings, especially with those feelings that I don’t like.. the more I don’t like them, the more solid the experiencer seems
The fear was just a passing “cloud” in my experience..
So tell me what and where and how is self right now? How would you describe it? Take time to look..
The self for me is the subject of any experience…its like saying “this is happening to me”, and on the level of actions, they seem to be embedded with this me-ness.. as I am writing this words, I feel that I am writing them and I can choose to write whatever I want in the moment.. so there is a control capacity for the self…for the question where is the self.. I would say Here..I am here.. Again the description of the self basically is the subject of the experiences..
I am feeling this / this is my feeling
I am thinking this / this is my thought
I am a separate self / this is my-self
Im trying to be very honest with whats happening here because I know that I am full of “non-duality” stuff and second hand concepts that I have picked up with the time.
When I try to do the investigation, I find myself very unfocused (now that I took a time to write was like heyyyyyyy cmoon ...do the work and dont be childish about this !!) and there is a lot of doubt about if I am giving to you the correct answers

I would really like to read your feedback Life
=)))

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Re: May I have a guide??

Postby Life » Sat Aug 30, 2014 12:12 pm

Well first feedback is there are no right or wrong answers as long as they are from own experience.
No, the seeing is always ON, and its not an activity of “me” doing the seeing…it has nothing to do with “me” or not me. Its just happening. So in your question implies that the separate self has no capacity of seeing, so the “truth” cannot be seen by the assumed self..Am I right?
Questions are always aimed not to imply but to invite you to look for yourself... So if your not the seeing what is you?
This is when it gets tricky..If I stick with direct experience, when I look to find if there is an experiencer I just find the feeling there..However in my day to day experience it feels as if I am a subject who is having/ experiencing the feelings, especially with those feelings that I don’t like.. the more I don’t like them, the more solid the experiencer seems
Yes, that's how it feels like indeed but is that feeling true?

What is this I that determines this feeling I like and this I don't? Are you the experiencer and if so is it always there?
The self for me is the subject of any experience…its like saying “this is happening to me”, and on the level of actions, they seem to be embedded with this me-ness.. as I am writing this words, I feel that I am writing them and I can choose to write whatever I want in the moment.. so there is a control capacity for the self…for the question where is the self.. I would say Here..I am here.. Again the description of the self basically is the subject of the experiences..
A subject experiencing objects subtle or gross in dream or awake but where are you when objects disappear completely from experience?
When I try to do the investigation, I find myself very unfocused (now that I took a time to write was like heyyyyyyy cmoon ...do the work and dont be childish about this !!) and there is a lot of doubt about if I am giving to you the correct answers
This investigation has to take place not only in front of the screen but also with whatever is going on during a day.. Getting up, deciding what to wear, eating, working, shopping, riding bike or car, walking, breathing, how does it happen? Are you doing it or does it just happen? Like that...
Life...... Are you separate from it?

http://machielovic-justbeing.blogspot.com/

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EndofSeeking
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Re: May I have a guide??

Postby EndofSeeking » Sun Aug 31, 2014 9:23 am

Hi,
I will get back to you tomorrow...
Here there is a lot of resistance or maybe I have a deep down belief like
- I cant do this (not capable of seeing this)
-I will never see this
- I am not ready for this
- The way my life is (at this moment) it is an obstacle for do this investigacion
I find myself very absorbed by the my story and the emotional turmoil that I feel ...It draws completley my attention.

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Life
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Re: May I have a guide??

Postby Life » Sun Aug 31, 2014 12:11 pm

I understand. But do not resist the emotion, allow it to come to the surface... Can you look behind it Philip, is something there?

These emotions are absolutely not an obstacle, they can be helpful if you look if they are you, can you notice them coming and going like the fear?

Look, what are doubts?

When ready have a look and then type here...
Life...... Are you separate from it?

http://machielovic-justbeing.blogspot.com/

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EndofSeeking
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Re: May I have a guide??

Postby EndofSeeking » Tue Sep 02, 2014 4:52 am

Im still here.. thanks for your words.. I will answer tomorrow

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EndofSeeking
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Re: May I have a guide??

Postby EndofSeeking » Wed Sep 03, 2014 4:06 pm

Hi,
I took some time to answer because I wanted to try more what you told me
I understand. But do not resist the emotion, allow it to come to the surface... Can you look behind it Philip, is something there?
Yes I can see how when an emotion that I dont like comes, there is an aversion velcroed to the emotion.. both arise sponteanously to a response, conditioned by the past..I am not creting them, but still feels that at some degree I resist them... However, I remember myself that they are just pasing emotions....When I look behind them, there is nothing there, just an emotion arising, I can even call them sensations, just like when I close my eyes and I can feel my "foot" sensation. I have to say that doing "these investigations" I secretly hope that the emotions will change..
These emotions are absolutely not an obstacle, they can be helpful if you look if they are you, can you notice them coming and going like the fear?
yes, I can notice them that they come and go and I dont even notice, one minute fear, one minute laugh etc... there is an almost permanent resistance or contraction about them though..

Doubts... They are just endless thinking.. they are like fear of doing it wrong, like what if this and not that? what if this is wrong... etc..

What would the best to see or do here? Stick more and more with direct experience? If I come back to direct experience, I just find a bunch of thoughts, emotions, sensations, sounds, etc... Is there something that I am missing?
Thanks Life
bye

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Life
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Re: May I have a guide??

Postby Life » Wed Sep 03, 2014 11:42 pm

Yes I can see how when an emotion that I dont like comes, there is an aversion velcroed to the emotion.. both arise sponteanously to a response, conditioned by the past..I am not creting them, but still feels that at some degree I resist them... However, I remember myself that they are just pasing emotions....When I look behind them, there is nothing there, just an emotion arising, I can even call them sensations, just like when I close my eyes and I can feel my "foot" sensation. I have to say that doing "these investigations" I secretly hope that the emotions will change..
So if there is nothing there behind where are you then?

Emotions constantly change already, do they not? Or did you have an emotion that never left? ;) Could it be that nothing has to be changed at all? focus on looking if there is anyone there to make things change...
yes, I can notice them that they come and go and I dont even notice, one minute fear, one minute laugh etc... there is an almost permanent resistance or contraction about them though..
What does the resistance... consist of?
Doubts... They are just endless thinking.. they are like fear of doing it wrong, like what if this and not that? what if this is wrong... etc..
Are you in control of what doubts arise and which dont? when? How?

Focus on how seeing and doing happen.... Are you always in control?

Is there a separate controler directing the stream where the stream flows?

Thanks Philip :)
Life...... Are you separate from it?

http://machielovic-justbeing.blogspot.com/


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