AM I?

[vinceschubert]

Ha! Before liberation it's thoughts that do the living - if you can call it that.
It is Only after liberation that Life-ing can get a clear run.
Come back when the hangover from thoughts get too much.

[AM I?]

what is the answer to the question
"why am I?"
or "why I am not?"

[vinceschubert]

The question pre-supposes an I.
What i am attempting to SHOW you is that the I never existed except as a story to thoughts.
You are not removing something that was there to leave a vacancy.
It never existed in the first place.
So the question is the wrong question.
A better question is "Why did you believe in Santa Clause then stop believing in him"
You will stop believing in an I when you SEE that it's no more real than Santa.

[AM I?]

there are real mind problems, which are creating this 'person'

past memories
constant confusion
social awkwardness
dishonesty
sadness
aloneness
helplessness
madness
and a little bit of fear

for some people it's hard to drop that amout of feelings,
this organism needs time to grow up
i need space to bloom


ps. does flawlessness exists?

[AM I?]

IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE?

[AM I?]

http://www.personalpowermeditation.com/ ... ally-over/

This technique is so-called "Trauma & Tension Releasing Exercise(s)".
It's easy to do and it's truly effective.

In my case it transforms fear, loss and anger
into harmony, interconnectedness, and laugh.


Try it if you want and then write your opinion :)



Peace

[vinceschubert]

Sorry for the delay Bartek, broken internet here.
So is it right to say that you have a new improved you after doing this ?

[AM I?]

yup, I feel improved
but the day after 'TRE' I've got many depressive feelings
and I felt like everything in my life is falling apart

I'm humiliated by other people and by my own uncontrolled actions
women are literally afraid of me
I have problems in my job,
I don't have money for clothes
I decided to not coming back to the university
people are irritating me
I feel alone
I feel like totally worthless ultra-sensitive sissy
a coward
my future looks not so special,
no plans
etc etc

I only believe that our Age will soon get be better

now my mood is coming back to 'norm'
I feel lighter, but still shitty

besides
I'm not liberated, because whole the time I wanted to convice myself that I don't exist

I need to see
I need to know

most of the time I don't get it
this whole oneness idea

I'm just a thought.
ok.

i'm a thought which is controlling this organism
It feels like that.
there's no way to go beyond

[vinceschubert]

The reason you feel so crappy is because of the things you keep telling yourself. (this is not to downplay the difficulty in changing it)
If you tell yourself a shitty story and you feel shitty, why then not tell yourself a good story and feel good ?
It's because of the BELIEF you put into the shitty story and the disbelief you put in the good story.

Try it.
Tell yourself a good story about yourself and watch the disbelief.

Then ask yourself what exactly is the disbelief ?
Is it more thoughts ?
Thoughts with a particular quality ?
Is there an attraction to this type of thought ?

Oh, and the reason you went down after the 'TRE' was Habit.
Part of the body survival mechanism is Persistance. That is that the mind/body organism always attempts to maintain the status quo. (this is why it is [normally] so hard to stop smoking or lose weight)

[AM I?]

ok, lets start from the beginning
reset in 3.. 2.. 1..

It feels that I exist in mind realm
As an accumulation of thoughts and experiences.
I am a function of the awareness, 'holding' this experience.
Why there is a feeling of control? Do you have that feeling?
If there is no me, why Nature 'designed' feeling of control? I suppose It has evolutionary function.

If there is no me, why there's anything?
If there would be absolutely nothing, everything would be perfect.
But there is something. This 'something' is the existence.
Existence from THIS point of view. From point of view of this INDIVIDUAL.
I am the aparature 'created' by the Universe to 'embrace' life.
I feel, that I am an abstract mind-function essential for survival.


In material realm there is no me.
There are skin, bones, jelly brain, etc.
There is only matter.

I believe that I don't truly exist, but simultaneously i think that I see that I exist as an abstract.
I also believe, that after the realization I would be still arguing that I exist.

[GrahamB]

ok, lets start from the beginning
reset in 3.. 2.. 1..

Hi Bartek, My name is Graham, and as you suggest let's have a fresh start here. Pleased to be here with you.

Will you please recommit that your sole purpose of being on this forum is to see that there is no personal self?

Would you also please remove the part of your signature about the big ego at the bottom of your posts. It is a continuing affirmation of what you think you are, and so does not assist in what we are aiming to achieve here.

It feels that I exist in mind realm
As an accumulation of thoughts and experiences.

When you think about yourself, the content of that thought is entirely imaginary. The thought that you are "an accumulation of thoughts and experiences" is another thought, again entirely imaginary. The content of all thought is entirely imaginary. Do you see this?

Why there is a feeling of control? Do you have that feeling?
If there is no me, why Nature 'designed' feeling of control? I suppose It has evolutionary function.

As long as there is thought to be a me, an ego, a self, the thought of control or lack of control will arise, but there is no self, so no personal control.

If there is no me, why there's anything?
If there would be absolutely nothing, everything would be perfect.
But there is something. This 'something' is the existence.
Existence from THIS point of view. From point of view of this INDIVIDUAL.
I am the aparature 'created' by the Universe to 'embrace' life.
I feel, that I am an abstract mind-function essential for survival.

This is trying to establish a location for a self, albeit a subtle location, an abstract (mental) one. When it is seen that there is no self, it is also seen that that self was in an illusory location, a mental one.

In material realm there is no me.

Good. So the only 'place' there is a me is in imagination, in thought, in belief?

I believe that I don't truly exist, but simultaneously i think that I see that I exist as an abstract.

You are trying to define what you are. And all trying is in thought. Thought cannot define what you are as there is no self.

Looking forward to your reply.

With best wishes,
Graham

[AM I?]

ok, lets start from the beginning
reset in 3.. 2.. 1..

Hi Bartek, My name is Graham, and as you suggest let's have a fresh start here. Pleased to be here with you.

Will you please recommit that your sole purpose of being on this forum is to see that there is no personal self?

Hi Graham!
Pleasure to meet you.

Yeah, the sole purpose of being on LU is to see no-self,
but ('but' is one of my favourite words) I've got many thoughts in my mind and I'm driven by them,
and this is why there's a lot of offtopic in my posts :) My thoughts are tripping to a lot of places in my mind.
Thought wants to be the awareness, if you know what I mean.

Would you also please remove the part of your signature about the big ego at the bottom of your posts. It is a continuing affirmation of what you think you are, and so does not assist in what we are aiming to achieve here.

My ego liked that signature very much... ok, done :)

When you think about yourself, the content of that thought is entirely imaginary. The thought that you are "an accumulation of thoughts and experiences" is another thought, again entirely imaginary. The content of all thought is entirely imaginary. Do you see this?

Yes, I see that when I aim my awareness on that fact,
but most of the time I'm living in my thoughts, I forget it.
I suppose, one of the points of meditation is to be aware of the fact that thoughts are imaginary.
That's why today I'm starting to truly meditate.
(This post was very helpful for me if anyone's interested: http://www.personalpowermeditation.com/ ... ghtenment/)

As long as there is thought to be a me, an ego, a self, the thought of control or lack of control will arise, but there is no self, so no personal control.

ok, I get it

If there is no me, why there's anything?
If there would be absolutely nothing, everything would be perfect.
But there is something. This 'something' is the existence.
Existence from THIS point of view. From point of view of this INDIVIDUAL.
I am the aparature 'created' by the Universe to 'embrace' life.
I feel, that I am an abstract mind-function essential for survival.

This is trying to establish a location for a self, albeit a subtle location, an abstract (mental) one. When it is seen that there is no self, it is also seen that that self was in an illusory location, a mental one.

In material realm there is no me.

Good. So the only 'place' there is a me is in imagination, in thought, in belief?

I believe that I don't truly exist, but simultaneously i think that I see that I exist as an abstract.

You are trying to define what you are. And all trying is in thought. Thought cannot define what you are as there is no self.

Yes, I get it, but my concentration, my consciousness is in that thought, in the realm od thoughts.
It's feels hard to see/feel the thought as a thought, it's because thoughts have no location, I cannot grasp them.
They simpy are, but I don't know where.

[GrahamB]

Hi Bartek. Good to hear from you.

Yeah, the sole purpose of being on LU is to see no-self,

Pleased about this. Just to clarify, there is no seeing of a no-self, just simply seeing that there is no self. A subtle but important difference.

but ('but' is one of my favourite words) I've got many thoughts in my mind and I'm driven by them,
and this is why there's a lot of offtopic in my posts :) My thoughts are tripping to a lot of places in my mind.

Ok, then we need to address this as we do not want to get off topic. Notice that thoughts come and go and that they can be watched as they 'pass'. The content of every thought is imaginary but the thought is real.

So if the content of thought is imaginary and you are real, something imaginary has no way of affecting something that is real. But if you are not real, and only thought to be real, or just another thought construct or self image that comes and goes from time to time, then thought can influence you. But fortunately you are neither imaginary nor real as you do not exist. You can only be thought about and cannot really be located anywhere. You are entirely imaginary.

Do you notice how you, or the thought of you is not there all the time. For example when you are really engrossed in something, the thought that you are doing this, or you did this, only comes at intervals, ie 'you' are nothing more than another thought, or thought construct (self image) that arises and dissolves from time to time. Do 'you' see this?

Thought wants to be the awareness, if you know what I mean.

The entirely imaginary content of thought wants and does not want all sorts of things; all entirely in imagination. The content is all stories, imaginary.

My ego liked that signature very much... ok, done :)

Thank you. Note that 'ego' is another word for 'self', 'me', 'I', the thought-to-be self. And it is only thought to be.

When you think about yourself, the content of that thought is entirely imaginary. The thought that you are "an accumulation of thoughts and experiences" is another thought, again entirely imaginary. The content of all thought is entirely imaginary. Do you see this?

Yes, I see that when I aim my awareness on that fact,

'You' do not aim or own anything, let alone awareness. There is an experience; the 'I' labels it 'mine'; thoughts arise that create a story of what the experience means. Experience has no inherent meaning; all meaning is created by thought stories.

The imaginary character Bartek is writing 'his' stories. Once you begin to see this it is difficult to get sucked in to the current story.

but most of the time I'm living in my thoughts

If you think you are living, you are living entirely in 'your' thoughts.

I suppose, one of the points of meditation is to be aware of the fact that thoughts are imaginary.

But you know that the content of all thought is entirely imaginary, don't you?

You know the difference between an imaginary horse and a real one don't you? You know that a unicorn and batman are thought constructs, entirely imaginary, don't you?

As long as there is thought to be a me, an ego, a self, the thought of control or lack of control will arise, but there is no self, so no personal control.

ok, I get it

Very good.

You are trying to define what you are. And all trying is in thought. Thought cannot define what you are as there is no self.

Yes, I get it, but my concentration, my consciousness is in that thought, in the realm od thoughts.

Consciousness is not in thought. Consciousness is aware of thought as thought arises moment to moment.

It's feels hard to see/feel the thought as a thought, it's because thoughts have no location, I cannot grasp them.
They simpy are, but I don't know where.

A thought is right where it is being thought. The 'I' that is trying to grasp thought is another thought, and thought cannot do anything as it is imaginary. Do 'you' see this?

Best wishes,
Graham

[GrahamB]

Are you intending to respond Bartek?

[AM I?]

Yes, but I'm afraid that my response right now wouldn't be developmental.
I've catched a cold. When I have cold I have big problems with concentration, a lot of negative thinking, etc.
Too much bullshit.

Nevertheless, I'm starting to write my answer right now.