If you are ready, step in..

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Canfora
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If you are ready, step in..

Postby Canfora » Mon May 27, 2013 9:49 am

Hi Ilona and Al.
I'm ready too. Can I join this post or it's better a new one?
Thank you Ilona for your disponibility.

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Ilona
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Re: If you are ready, step in..

Postby Ilona » Mon May 27, 2013 12:39 pm

Hi canfora,

This forum works by one on one principle. You can read about that in this post. [url][http://liberationunleashed.com/nation/v ... =4&t=6/url]

We can have a chat, yes. Please introduce yourself and tell what is it you are looking for.

Kind regards.
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com

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Canfora
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Re: If you are ready, step in..

Postby Canfora » Mon May 27, 2013 1:28 pm

Please introduce yourself and tell what is it you are looking for.
I'm Sandra, I'm Portuguese and I live in Portugal.

I've been looking for "I don't know what" since I remember and I read more than most people, always about the same subject: spirituality or personal growth. It's like being a guinea pig in a wheel. I'm tired of that.

Lately I've been reading the LU book and quotes and looking at my direct experience. When I look I can see that what I call Canfora it's not real. But it’s so simple that I think "It can't be only this!". Then life continues, as usual...

I’m looking for the true. I want to know what is real. I want to live without believing the stories of I, rooted in my direct experience.

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Ilona
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Re: If you are ready, step in..

Postby Ilona » Mon May 27, 2013 3:13 pm

Hi canfora, thank you for intro? Lets see, what happens if I say that there is no self at all as in zero, no I, that is in charge of life and stories are happening to. There is only life happening by itself.
How does your body react? What thoughts come up? Just write what you notice.

Sending love
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com

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Canfora
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Re: If you are ready, step in..

Postby Canfora » Mon May 27, 2013 4:27 pm

The other night, when I saw this, I had a "thoughts storm", with lots of "yes that’s is, yes that’s it, yes that’s it" and adrenaline running in the body.

At this exact moment I listen to the conversations around me. There are thoughts appearing and I can see they are “objects” and I can see the way my body contracts when the mind tries to grab something that is said to make something with it: “She’s wrong”, “I would like her to shut up”, “I’m tired”. Thoughts are doing their job perfectly, labeling what surrounds me. When I believe in them the body contracts and a story arises. When I look at them stories are just thoughts. They are not real, they aren’t here in this space.

When I look at what is here “I see” feelings in the body, sensations, thoughts and what is in this space. It´s strange the way everything appears here. I don’t know very well were I begin and end. There seems to be no boundaries in direct experience. There is no I but there is everything that is real – sight, hearing, feeling, emotions, talking. I feel very big, expanding.

Ilona, what am I? Am I everything that is happening in my awareness? Everything just is. If I die now reality will continue here, manifesting. But this unique way of perceiving it that I am would disappear.

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Canfora
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Re: If you are ready, step in..

Postby Canfora » Mon May 27, 2013 4:54 pm

The feeling of aliveness, of being connected, as a lamp being lit, this feeling of existing that I sometimes think it’s me – it’s only a feeling, a real feeling without a me? It’s impermanent, it’s only here when I “look” at it. When I’m asleep it’s not here. Looking gives things reality. But this aliveness is what I call I.

Sorry, I feel like a puppy chasing it’s tale.

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Ilona
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Re: If you are ready, step in..

Postby Ilona » Tue May 28, 2013 1:57 pm

well noticed, there are feelings, sensation, perception and there is thinking.
I don’t know very well were I begin and end
what about there is no you whatsoever, as in zero. nothing is beginning or ending, just this, as it is, right now.

instead of asking "what am i?" ask is there an i? can it be found? if so, where? is aliveness the I? is it still here if it is not labelled at all?

write what you notice.

sending love.
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com

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Canfora
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Re: If you are ready, step in..

Postby Canfora » Tue May 28, 2013 4:10 pm

Dear Ilona,

In my direct experience, when I focus and look, there is no I. The I can’t be found.

It’s like Harry Potter – there are books about him, images and people talk about the character as if it’s real. But in reality there’s no Harry Potter and we all know it.

I experience a real body, real thoughts, real feelings, real sensations and I’m surrounded by a real world – when these things are not classified by me with a label I don’t know what any of this really is. And that’s OK, just is.

Aliveness is the sensation of being alive. All living beings have it – cats, trees, ants and maybe even stones - a I it’s not necessary to fell aliveness. Mind labels this felling “aliveness” and uses the label to make me believe in an I.

Felling + labeling = I, but only if I believe it.
Felling + labeling = Harry Potter ! But I know he’s not real.

When there’s no story there’s no I. Pretty simple.

The spiritual quest to know the true is a story and just happens. I’m not doing it. If I stick to my direct experience I don’t need to use that story and the others stories about me to keep an I that doesn’t exist. I can be free as a bird!

I’ve been thinking about the fear of dying. I can see that beyond a fear there’s no self.
Are these kinds of feelings part of our human conditioning, a software running here from time to time? Seeing that there is no I doesn’t take the fear away.

Everything is the same with less storytelling and more enjoyment of what’s here – trees, birds, dogs, people, food, sun, back pain. It’s all impermanent.

Love, Canfora

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Ilona
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Re: If you are ready, step in..

Postby Ilona » Wed May 29, 2013 10:39 am

very good observations. how does seeing of this make you feel?

was there a separate self, i, ever?
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com

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Canfora
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Re: If you are ready, step in..

Postby Canfora » Wed May 29, 2013 11:25 am

very good observations. how does seeing of this make you feel?

was there a separate self, i, ever?
I feel as always - no angels singing, no feelings of love for everything, no big insights. Life is as before. There’s more space, less looking to the story of I, more interest in others.

The mind keeps telling its tales, trying to convince me that I exist but who cares? I prefer being in this raw experience where everything is allowed, including the thoughts about a very real I (I like my Canfora story).

Yesterday I looked at my dog’s eyes and I saw what I see when I look at me in the mirror. Life is there, awareness is there, it’s something real and wonderful, but it’s not personal. It’s the same that exists in me. I and my dog are one in essence and two in illusion.

At this moment I fell lighter, freerer, bigger, happier. And the same! Paradoxical, isn’t it?

No I here, not now, not ever - just the felling and the stories of an I. But that doesn't make it real.

With love, Canfora

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Ilona
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Re: If you are ready, step in..

Postby Ilona » Wed May 29, 2013 4:55 pm

Beautiful..
Would you say that yes, it's clear that separate I is an illusion?
If so, can I ask you the final questions?
If not, is there anything else you would like to address?


Hugs.
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com

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Canfora
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Re: If you are ready, step in..

Postby Canfora » Wed May 29, 2013 5:06 pm

Dear Ilona, in my direct experience I see that separation is an illusion.

Then appears a thought saying: "How can this be so simple?" and trying to convince me that I exist has a separate I, and a felling appears that the mind translates as "I'm not ready!"... Tales of a lost self (big smile).

But I trust your guidance and I'm ready if you think I am.

With love, Sandra

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Ilona
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Re: If you are ready, step in..

Postby Ilona » Wed May 29, 2013 5:16 pm

Oh no, it's not my yes, that I'm waiting to hear...

Yes it is that simple. The drop of belief in I starts the fall of all beliefs attached to it. It may feel like a small shift, just a puff, but if it's seen it's seen, can be seen anytime you look.

Maybe just let this settle for a bit, relax, be kind to yourself and if you get some questions coming up we can look together. Cool? A walk in nature is a good idea, just watch the movement of totality, see how everything depends on everything else. Including thoughts and movements of this body, sensations and feeling.

Speak soon.

Sending love.
Truth realized will set you free.
http://ilonaciunaite.com

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Canfora
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Re: If you are ready, step in..

Postby Canfora » Thu May 30, 2013 1:10 pm

Hi, Ilona.

When questions appear I can see they are thoughts.

I can also see the flow happening, and the separation between inside and outside exists only in thoughts.

Seeing this extraordinary absence (someone, I don’t remember who, calls it this way – Jeff Foster, I think) makes me kinder to me and to what surrounds me. I can see that life is the same but the controller, the sufferer, the perfectionist and the one who was in a quest for the true are losing their grip – only control, suffering, perfectionism and thoughts about a quest are real and only in the moment (how else? There’s only this moment.).

I’m ready for the questions! I’m in a hurry! This is exciting!

Whit love,

Canfora

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Canfora
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Re: If you are ready, step in..

Postby Canfora » Thu May 30, 2013 1:35 pm

I'm sorry if I seem to be running or jumpins steps but I feel like a little kid looking to the tree and the christmas presents. There's no Santa but the heart can sing with joy. And it does.

Love, Canfora


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