But how can the seeing be who you are? It is happening without your choosing, right?
Right. And still it doesn't contradict one another.
There is a very significant difference, if you are the seer you are doing the seeing, are you?
I mean can you snap your fingers and make it stop? Choose if and when it begins again?
I never really believed that my life is something I can guide. My system of concepts includes understanding that life lives through me and by me. Maybe that's the reason why I can't find any contradiction. Besides I was in some states which you cannot control at all and still you feel some sense of consciousness which you feel as "myself". So, if we want to move from this dead end I should find some other evidence that "I" don't exist. Something not connected with control.
Nothing to do with the looking, are you doing it?
No, I don't do it... but I can't tell you for sure on what level I see this.
There are no levels of seeing this you either see it or you dont.
If I do it again to that point it will again collapse and go on as just being and then turn back to the conceptual "me".
What will collapse and turn back where? This conceptual me is only a thought, thinking is labelling the looking mine ''I did the looking"' and ''I need to do it again''. You want to take credit for this but there is nobody there to take it!
I knew you will write this... but I can't change the language, I can't always use non-personal sentences. About collapse - my mind will collapse.
dont matter what words are used it matters what is seen, words are just all we have to communicate. No it wont collapse, just seen for what it is
Think you have seen it, but mistake the state of silence for the seeing and want to hold on to it, and so when there is another i thought you think you lost it, but there is nothing to lose or get rid of... The (I) thoughts will stay, only now it can be seen they are not yours and do not point to an existing self/controller of life...
Yes... I wrote that it could be some very strong state. I just don't know how it can be seen if it was not seen by seeing directly into the seeing. Maybe I just need to watch my mind for a very long time to stop identification with it. For now I come to understanding that nothing can be done. It will happen when it will happen or maybe will not happen at all.
Have not told you to look directly into seeing but to find out if there is a seer or just seeing. Identification will end when it is seen if there is a self or not. Watching the mind itself wont help, seeing if the thoughts happen without control or not will, this happens in an instance.Can you see that this is not about disidentifying with anything, but seeing if there is an I or not to do the identification or disidentification in the first place?
Look at this: ''In the seeing, just the seen, in the hearing just the heard, in the smelling just the smelled, in the feeling just the felt, in thinking just the thought.'' Now lets look closer: Your not making the eyes look, the ears hear, the nose smell, the skin feel or the mind think neither are you any of them, right? But all of them together you say you are, isn't that strange? There is not a thing called me at the end of the senses, just the sensing and the sensed, no doer.
Look at the hands without the thought, "my hands". For a second or two, let the "my" thoughts fall away. Then, look at the legs without the thought, "my legs". Just gaze at them. See how they exist even without the "me" or "my" thoughts, and how nothing about reality changes one bit without those thoughts.
Bring yourself back to thoughts of "my hands", then repeat the exercise a few times. Look at them without thought, then bring the thought back in.
What happens to the body without the thoughts? Can you say what the object even is? Does it "belong" to anything? Does it continue to exist in physical reality?''
Nothing to do to make it happen is right, but it still needs to be seen if there is a you doing anything or not...
To be clear this is not about my opinion or truth vs yours, it is about seeing what is truth.