Hi Matt, thanks again for your time. This is strange, it does seem like there is an "instinctual self-protection mechanism", yet if there is no self to protect then it can't be real. There's not an ego worrying that it may be destroyed, or a pretend self trying to assert itself, this is crazy. There is nothing fighting for its survival, it is just programming playing out its programme. This seems right. Which is hilarious as I can even now see myself struggling. Just thoughts reacting to thoughts. If someone says "there is no you" but I'm used to assuming there is a me all my life, the reflexive response will be "yes there is". When told to look, I look and see that there is no me, but the reflexive responses keep coming anyway. An imaginary self that thinks it is real. But there's no one thinking, just all raw data, like you say.it's clear there is an instinctual self-protection mechanism at work—that's normal and is no problem here. What is behind it?
No, this was me still trying to hold onto something, anything. I think that the "feeling of being me" must be located somewhere, but I see now that it is only in thoughts of me that an actual "me" exists.Walbart wrote:
All these objects, raw data, thoughts, awareness of things.... which part is me then?
This part doesn't make too much sense to me. Are you asking which part of a thought is 'you'? Like, which part of a random grain of sand is 'you'??
When I watch a film I suspend my belief for the duration, regardless of noticing the pixels and knowing that it's just actors and sets. I guess this thing I'm trying to do here is the opposite of that. My belief throughout my life that I am a person with a soul has been constant. How do I see through a constant belief? Just examine it I guess, chip away at it and look at the evidence. It should be obvious to me after all these months now, and I see that the only thing stopping me from seeing this is the familiarity of my beliefs. Like I said earlier, I don't see reality, ever, there is always this huge buffer of thoughts and hopes and imagination protecting "me" from what is actually the case. And this seems to be everywhere, in all aspects of my life, relationships, work etc. It's all conceptual, and wrong.Yes, like a movie seems to be "personal" or refer to personal reality, but when you look closely, it's really all pixels. When you see it's all pixels, does the screenplay permanently disappear? Take a nice long look at this, and let me know.
I can't prove a thinker of thoughts. I try to, I insist that I can and that I am in control, but really when I do this it is only a reaction to being asked this question. I try to create a unique thought now, but that's still a response to you, based on what has already been experienced. The human brain can imagine, conceptualise and create, but that is one of it's tricks and in no way proves a thinker. It's all just input/output.why not try out what you're imagining here. See if you can identify with space or awareness. Is it even possible to convert an object (space) into the subject ('I')? And if you were an imaginary movie-character made of pixels and vibrations, would you need to identify with this or that? As you're starting to see, it's just thinking. Thoughts without a thinker that you can find. Can you prove to me that there's a thinker of thoughts?
My thoughts are habitualised and ingrained. I can see them, but still think "I" might be something that sits behind them and watches them.