Come on in...

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Pratityasamutpada
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Come on in...

Postby Pratityasamutpada » Sat Oct 29, 2011 10:45 am

And tell me what you're looking for :).

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Pratityasamutpada
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Re: Come on in...

Postby Pratityasamutpada » Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:31 pm

Bump.

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frozensun11
Posts: 16
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2011 6:35 am

Re: Come on in...

Postby frozensun11 » Wed Nov 09, 2011 6:07 am

Hello there. My name is Kelly. I've been on the so-called spiritual path since childhood in a quest to find out who I really am, probably spurred on by the fact I was adopted. I tend to gravitate toward advaita teachers but I don't care about dressing, speaking or acting the part... I want to actually experience awakening, have the shift, I don't know why exactly I want it so much, probably to stop suffering, and also I am curious and appreciate truth.

I've been having some awakening type experiences, in the presence of my awakened friend (I know because I can feel it) he told me, just remember that there is no me, and when he said that I fell into the vibration outside of my body and for a moment I felt detached and realized that nothing is personal and when things arise they just arise and subside and it only appears like it's happening to somebody, but it's just things arising and subsiding, I had no personal attachment or sentimental feeling toward my body at that point. Then a few days later it went back to being a mental concept. I have gone so deeply into feelings of so-called suffering, I guess surrendering, exploring the feeling inside, until I felt it loosening and becoming a sort of bliss, this I experience regularly and the deeper I can go, the more the spacious sort of comfort feeling lingers, I sense it near me, often lately. Ummm, I'm not new agey at all, I don't conjure up experiences, if anything I'm a skeptical person so I may be a challenge for you.

I've read enough books and seen enough youtube videos, I mentally understand all the concepts and can imagine them, maybe I have had a sort of shift, I'm not sure, I'm confused about what I'm really going through... that being said... your turn :) :)

Thank you, Kelly

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Elena
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Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:01 am
Location: USA
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Re: Come on in...

Postby Elena » Thu Nov 10, 2011 6:20 pm

Hi Kelly. The original guide is traveling, do you mind if I enter this dance? I can create a separate thread, but I thought why not to make a next move right where you are. So tell me, where you say "I" where exactly you referring? Elena

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frozensun11
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Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2011 6:35 am

Re: Come on in...

Postby frozensun11 » Sun Nov 13, 2011 6:04 am

Oh, I didn't know you had responded to my post, sorry me long, thanks for responding. When I say I, I'm still stuck in the little me, only when I think of emotions and contractions in my body as being something out of my control, that's when I am close to identifying with a different I (don't know what exactly it is) but then it's like my body can do and think whatever it wants and it's interesting to see it happening, but I still end up suffering (there's that I again). I feels like the personality, or a quieter personality, the feeling of spaciousness comes up when I enter the heart of a bad feeling for a period of time, but then it doesn't feel like it's me, it feels like energy inside of me, expanding. Hopefully this makes some sense.

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Elena
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Re: Come on in...

Postby Elena » Sun Nov 13, 2011 7:16 am

What is there, Kelly, that feels unsettled? Otherwise you won't come here, right? What is missing? What is that you really want? Tell me.

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frozensun11
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Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2011 6:35 am

Re: Come on in...

Postby frozensun11 » Sun Nov 13, 2011 7:24 am

Trying to be as authentic as possible has been the theme of my life, and following that cookie crumb trail led me to here, wanting to know the absolute truth. That, and the fact that I suffer from turbulent emotions, have all my life, and it's not that I want to escape, because I really desire to be authentic, I'm just picking at that curiosity to find the answer to why I'm here, what's it all for, what's the truth...

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Elena
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Re: Come on in...

Postby Elena » Sun Nov 13, 2011 8:10 am

What if nothing will change really, and you will still have turbulent emotions, and maybe even more turbulent, would you want to look anyway? Ponder on it. Ask yourself. Then listen what you've got. Let me know.

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frozensun11
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Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2011 6:35 am

Re: Come on in...

Postby frozensun11 » Sun Nov 13, 2011 9:05 am

Over the years I've paused on the search, been distracted by appeasing my ego, but I always come back... the last few years I've been getting slowly deeper and deeper, into uncovering this paradox of "who am I really" I've actively sought teachers, including Pamela Wilson, and sat in satsang and read, and watched youtube videos ...

I'm curious and not only that but becoming more and more relentless about not letting myself get away with the mind tricks that help placate me, yet lead me away from the truth. I've been choosing to sit with the harsh emotions time and time again rather than distracting myself with some form of comforting distraction... tv, reading, intellectualizing, lying to myself, giving myself some new hope for the future (which is what I've done in the past with various projects that ultimately turned out to be "not it" ) ... I'm calling myself out as much as possible on everything possible, so yes, I know, I'm ready to go through the eye of a storm, I just need to know how, I need a little shove in the right direction!

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Elena
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Re: Come on in...

Postby Elena » Sun Nov 13, 2011 7:01 pm

Would you look into the truth even if it mean distraction of all your life? I mean, do not give me quick unswear. Look at every area of your life, feel the preciousness of it for you at the moment. Then ask yourself would knowing the truth be worth of risking to loose what you already have. I want you to really look into your life, people, whatever you have, one by one and innerly ask. Then innerly listen what will comes up. I want you to come here with the feeling, not explanations. Whatever you come back with - bring a feeling here, anything what come when you really ASKED.

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frozensun11
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Re: Come on in...

Postby frozensun11 » Sun Nov 13, 2011 7:21 pm

I know this seems like a quick answer.. but truth is I have nothing right now already. I've already made this commitment. I'm ready. This is from the heart many times, I've given up things already because I knew they were just deviations from what I really want, which is a shift, one that lasts this time. I've had some awakenings already this year, but they were just temporary experiences.

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Elena
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Re: Come on in...

Postby Elena » Sun Nov 13, 2011 7:47 pm

Kelly, dear, this is no simple endeavor, no impossible, but it does require 100% focus and honesty. I would ask you to engage fully, drop reading non-duality pages, Facebook and anything else that takes your focus away from looking. Let's look, finish this, and you are free to do whatever you want. Deal?

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frozensun11
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Re: Come on in...

Postby frozensun11 » Sun Nov 13, 2011 7:49 pm

Okay, Deal!

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Elena
Posts: 136
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Re: Come on in...

Postby Elena » Sun Nov 13, 2011 9:07 pm

Let's see if the body if yours. Can you stop the breathing or heart from beating? Can you alter the blood flow. Or it's just happening? Without you, without you as a manager? Look and investigate every function.

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frozensun11
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Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2011 6:35 am

Re: Come on in...

Postby frozensun11 » Sun Nov 13, 2011 10:34 pm

The body functions just happen on their own, but the I receives it's signals


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