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Request for Garsius Tyla

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 10:28 pm
by greysky
Hello.

I’m in search for a long time, I read books, practice, visit satsangs. But all the changes, if they happened , seem to be not essential. And it is still not clear what is illusory and what really exists.
And it is still very difficult to get along with myself.

Once I had one difficult situation in my life, that was full of tension. I was pulled to different sides the same time, it was impossible to make any choice. Thoughts were going circle-wise, mind confused itself, decision didn’t come. All this was happening for a long time and it was hard to be in. But everything stopped at once and the Silence came to me.

I live in this Silence for some time, but then the “ego” returned and got it’s share of cake.

Sometimes I see a huge apartness of myself from the world and apartness of people from each other. It seems to be the rule of the game and seems to stay like that forever.

Sometimes, even often, I hate myself strongly, and it burns me out. There is no place to hide away. It is hard, it is a war in which it is impossible to win. Everything seems to be not like you want it. But when you are in the moment of now, and try to realize what is wrong, everything disappears. You need nothing, and feel nothing.

I would like to understand more about the nature of our ego. I would like to get free of it and to pass the Gate, though I don’t know exactly what it will matter for me.

Thank you!

I can write in English or in Russian.

Re: Request for Garsius Tyla

Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 6:41 am
by Garsius Tyla
Hello greysky,

You could PM me in Facebook. I'm Garsius Tyla there too. That would be easier for me. Is it okey for you?