jacki

[Quincy]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
I am not who or what I take myself to be. This is what I think I understand about this.

What are you looking for at LU?
I want to see unfiltered reality, living truth. I feel that life seems "off." There is something real that I am not experiencing. I have felt this for most of my life. Even though the surface aspect of my life would be considered a good life, there is still something that feels off. I feel very separate and I have a deep feeling that there is a definite possibility to experience life more fully.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I hope to be guided very directly to find that the self who I think I am is really not there. That before name, form, memories, imaginings of the future there is something very real that never leaves. This is what I hope to uncover.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I have been interested in Buddhism since I was 17. I am now 63 years old. I have read many books and recently became aware of awakening as a real possibility in this lifetime from Angelo Dilullo. I started doing self inquiry and longer periods of meditation, but still no shift. I feel like I need someone to pull the rug out from under me, so to speak, or light a fire under my butt! I am very earnest about wanting to wake up from the dream of separation.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 10

[Anastacia42]

My name is Stacy and I can be your guide, if you would like.

Let's see if we can end this search.

One thing that is helpful is to come to this forum
& post every day. Sometimes the site goes down. It will be back. Just come back later.

Yes, if once in a while you must post later, please post a note telling me when you will return.

If you haven't already read the disclaimer, please read it now and just confirm to me that you have read it. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/disclaimer-2/

Also please read “Liberation Unleashed is not …” in the FAQ’s of LU. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/about/faq/#faq-1041

Some housekeeping guidelines:

1. Post at least once a day, or every second day. If you need more time, or are unable to post for several days, just write a quick post on your thread to let me know please.

2. There is no one judging answers given, so please be 100% honest in your answers and inquiry.

3. This exploration is based on actual experience (AE) - smell, taste, sound, sensation, color and observed thoughts. Long-winded analytical and philosophical answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress. This is not a self-improvement process. There is no ‘self’ to improve.

4. Put aside all other teachings, philosophies, rituals, practices, books/reading and so on for the remainder of this investigation. Really put all your effort and attention in to seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily meditation practice, it is fine to continue that but is not necessary for this exploration.

Technology is not perfect and sometimes there is a glitch which can wipe out your responses. It is advisable that you copy and paste questions asked into Word, answer them there and then copy and paste them to your thread. Always save a copy of what you have done, it will save time in the long run!

To begin with, so that we both become aware of what your expectations are about this exploration. In your own words (not from actual experience, but just honest answers), could you please answer the 4 following questions:

How will life change?
How will you change?
What will be different?
What is missing?

Throughout this exploration I would like you to answer all questions that I have written in blue text. Please answer all questions even if I miss using the blue text.

Please answer questions individually, remembering to use the quote function to highlight the question being answered.

Below is a link to the video with instructions on using the Quote Function. Please watch it. Use the PREVIEW button to make sure your text looks right before you hit "SUBMIT."

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

What would you like for me to call you? What time zone are you in, please?


Loving,

[Quincy]

Hi Stacy,

Thank you so much for being my guide! You can call me Jacki

I have read the disclaimer and what LU is not. My time zone is EDT.

How will life change?

I think that life will be experienced more directly, raw and have more flow.

How will you change?

There will be no sense of I. Otherwise I don't really know how I will change. Maybe I will be more open and not feel separate from life.

What will be different?

There will not be a center. The feeling of separation will be gone at some point.

What is missing?

The feeling of separation, the self will be missing.

[Anastacia42]

Good. Pretty reasonable replies, but clarity will come & go.

This is how to LOOK for no self in the exercises - we call them "pointers' - that we will be doing here:

Colored Socks

There is a big difference between knowing that there is nothing to give up and seeing that there is nothing to give up.

Here is an example to illustrate the difference:

If I ask you what color socks you are wearing right now you have two ways to come up with an answer:

• You can think about it, you can think back to this morning and try to remember putting your socks on, and you can probably tell me what color you think they are.

• Alternatively, you can take a quick look at your socks and tell me what color they actually are!

Hopefully you would agree that you can only be 100% certain by looking.

For the purpose of seeing this "no self" idea, it is very important that you are clear about this difference.

Knowing is about knowledge which is all in the mind and we are not interested in that

We are only interested in looking at and seeing what is actually going on in your present moment-to-moment experience. We are only interested in your Direct Experience in the moment..

Direct or Actual Experience is

Seeing
Hearing
Feeling (Sensation, not emotion. Emotion is Sensation plus made-up thoughts & labels)
Tasting
Smelling
Thoughts Arising (but not their content)

Please let me know if you are clear about this or if you would like any further clarification.



Loving,

[Quincy]

Hi Stacy,

I am clear. We are going beyond the mind. I want to see clearly without thoughts and labels.

Thank you.

Love,
Jacki

[Anastacia42]

Hi

My questions are blue, not your answers. Please review those Instructions. especially the Quote function.

Now to practice.

Direct Experience - Labeling Daily Activities

Here's an exercise that I would like you to try as many times throughout the day as you can. Label daily activities simply color/image, sound, smell, taste, sensation, thought.

So for example, when having breakfast, become aware of:

Seeing a cup, simply= image/color
Smelling coffee, simply = smell
Feeling the warmth of the coffee cup, simply = sensation
Tasting the coffee, simply = taste
Hearing the spoon stirring the coffee, simply = sound
Thought about drinking the coffee, simply = thought

Just break down daily activities into these categories (which are all Actual/Direct Experience) and report back with lists exactly like the one above.

Post several of your own observations in a list *exactly* like the one above, please.

Refer to the green list of Actual/Direct Experience in the prior post if that helps. Those are the only items any experience can be.

Loving,

[Quincy]

Hi Stacy,

Answers:
Seeing a dog, simply=image/black & white
Petting a dog, simply= sensation
Warmth of dog on the legs, simply=sensation
Feeling the weight of a dog on my lap=sensation
Thought about the dog hair on my leg, simply=thought
Thought about this exercise, simply=thought

Seeing a tree, simply=image/green& yellow

Walking across the room, simply=sensation

Putting on clothes:
Seeing clothes, simply=colors of clothes (pink)
Feeling textures of clothes on skin, simply=sensation

Walking a dog:
Seeing trees, simply=image/green
Seeing grass, simply=image/green
Feeling leash in hand, simply=sensation
Feeling feet on ground, simply=sensation
Feeling dog pulling on leash, simply=sensation
Hearing birds, simply=sound
Hearing trucks, simply=sound
Feeling plastic bag in hand, simply=sensation
Warmth of air, simply=sensation

Washing hands:
Seeing faucet, simply=image/silver
Feeling water on hands, simply=sensation
Feeling warmth of the water, simply=sensation
Sound of water, simply=sound
Turning off faucet, simply=sensation
Texture of towel wiping hands, simply=sensation

Going to the bathroom:
Seeing the wall, simply=image/green
Feeling of clothes on body, simply=sensation
Feeling toilet seat, simply=sensation
Feeling of liquid leaving the body, simply=sensation

Driving:
Seeing the scenery, simply=images/all different colors
Feeling the steering wheel, simply=sensation
Feeling the seat, simply=sensation
Hearing the cars, simply=sound

Eating ice cream:
Feeling the spoon in hand, simply=sensation
Feeling the texture and coldness on tongue, simply=sensation
Tasting the flavor, sweetness, simply=taste

Making pizza:
Thought about making the pizza, simply=thought
Seeing ingredients, simply=images/colors
Feeling the dough, simply=sensation
Hearing the pan as it enters the oven, simply=sound
Smelling the pizza as it cooks, simply=smell

[Anastacia42]

Your answers are good, but don't Quote answers only questions.

Example:

Post several of your own observations in a list *exactly* like the one above, please.

Going to the bathroom:
Seeing the wall, simply=image/green
Feeling of clothes on body, simply=sensation
Feeling toilet seat, simply=sensation
Feeling of liquid leaving the body, simply=sensation


Also. green is a label. There are no specific colors in Direct Experience just "color."

Got it?

Loving,

[Quincy]

I think I have got it.

Let me know what you would like me to do next.

Have a wonderful day.

[Quincy]

Thank you for your patience!

Love,
Jacki

[Anastacia42]

Hi

I will always let you know what's next. That's my job here. :)


Mind Labeling Experience

Here is an exercise which examines the way in which the mind labels experience - it takes about 20 minutes and you will need a pen a paper.

This exercise is broken into 10 minute lots. For each 10 minute period pay attention to any bodily sensation i.e. is there any tightening, or any relaxing?

For the first ten minutes write down what you are experiencing right now using the word “I”.

For example:

I am sitting on a chair,
I am hearing a clock ticking,
I am looking at a computer screen,
I am feeling hungry.

Get right to the point, no past or future fantasy, just a plain description of your experience right here and now.

Then for the next ten minutes continue writing down what you are experiencing but this time without using the word “I”. Just describe the experience as it is happening using verbs.

For example:

Sitting on a chair,
typing,
breathing,
blinking,
hearing the clock.

(Again, watch what is happening in the body.)

At the end of the twenty minutes compare the two ways in which the experience was labelled and answer the following four questions:

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

2. What is here without labels?

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

4. Did you notice any differences in the body?

Loving,

[Quincy]

Hi,

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

Without “I” it feels less personal, more direct, things just happening, so in a way truer without “I”, like there isn’t someone doing them.

2. What is here without labels?

Actions, movement, sensation

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

Labels seem to add something unnecessary to the experience.

4. Did you notice any differences in the body?

The body feels heavier with “I.” The experience is lighter and cleaner without “I”

[Anastacia42]

Excellent. All good not8cing.

Now try this:

Here is how to distinguish truth from lies.


We often lie every day & don't realize it.

For example, the grocery clerk asks, "How are you?" You reply, "I'm fine." While, yes. there is a sense in which we are always fine, even in the middle of suffering, at that moment, you were grieving the death of your dog, you had a slight sore throat & you had a headache, but you didn't feel like sharing all of that with the grocery clerk, so you lied, "I'm fine."

Also, it matters none at all how "distant" the remembered lie is. Besides the fact that time itself is fictional, a kind if lie, as we recall the lie it becomes present in this moment, as if it were happening now. This brings the body Sensation that accompanies lying.

Lies can be intentional or unintentional, conscious or unconscious, even so automatic that we ourselves are fooled.

The story of a separate "self" is a lie.

This is the lie you came here to see through. Therefore, it is helpful to notice the body Sensation of lying as one of the tools for finding the truth of no self.

You want to be in touch with body Sensations & able to clearly express them in words. This will help.

Lies are usually felt in the heart or solar plexus as a contraction that we may label as tight, heavy or tense.

In contrast, truth is usually expansive. We may call it loose, light or relaxed.

First, can you remember a time when you lied to someone you loved?

Here we count anything, lies we think of as "big" or "small" that "matter" or don't "matter."

How are you? I'm fine. No, your knee hurts, but you don't feel like discussing it with the grocery clerk.

It's a lie. A seemingly "bigger" one will work better for this exercise.

Find the lie. I don't need the whole story, just a few key words to refer to it.

Then scan your body for any Sensation (DE or Direct Experience), particularly in the gut or maybe the heart. Check very closely.

What is found?

If you think the memory you used wasn't clear enough, find another one or lie to yourself right now, make something up.

1 + 1 = 14 is a lie.

I love eating worms is (probably) a lie.

Or call up a video of a lying politician & notice what Sensations arise as you listen.

I will give you a clue: it is not that peaceful Sensation you felt before when you omitted "I." (refers to an exercise I gave before this one)

Please report back with what body Sensations (not interpretations) you feel. Bodies can feel hot or cold, heavy or light, contraction or expansion, etc.

"Peaceful" is an interpretation of a body Sensation, not the Sensation itself, for example.

Do you see that?

Loving,

[Quincy]

Hi Stacy!

I hate lying because of the way it makes me feel! I avoid it at all costs.
Here goes:

What is found?

When I lie to someone about the cause of my father's death I feel contraction in the chest/stomach area.

Do you see that?

I feel it. A tight heavy feeling is found when lying.

Love,
Jacki

[Anastacia42]

Excellent, Jacki

I hate lying because of the way it makes me feel! I avoid it at all costs.

You're ahead of the game. Now this one.

Label-Reality Correlation

There is a belief that labels have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’. But there isn’t. Just like it is a generally accepted belief that labels like ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are inherent characteristics of ‘things’. But actually, they are not.

When you look at the word label ‘GREEN' , what is the actual experience?

Is the color red ‘experienced’, or is the color green ‘experienced’ as the label suggests?

Does the label ‘GREEN’ have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’? Or does the label suggest something else other than what is here now (red colour)?

Is 'green' associated in any way with the experience of the colour red; or is green just a label that overlays the actual experience of red?

If the label ‘GREEN’ is replaced with the label ‘GOOD’ or ‘BAD’ , is the redness affected in any way as the labels suggests?

Does redness become ‘good’ or ‘bad’, or do the labels have no affect whatsoever on ‘reality’?

Let me know what is SEEN.

Loving,