My journey to clarity

[KatCat]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
I understand that this means that what I take myself to be (which is currently a body and a mind with a collection of thoughts, feelings and emotions) is just a thought. I understand that what is experienced (what is seen, heard, felt, smelled, tasted and thought) is not actually experienced by anyone, but rather just simply are.

What are you looking for at LU?
I am looking for help breaking the first barrier to seeing through the sense of self clearly. I have been working on this first shift since I had an opening in 2018 at an ayahuasca retreat (the opening happened the day after a ceremony, not during the ceremony itself). I saw clearly that separation is impossible because everything is made of the same substance, and that therefore the feelings of loneliness I had been having were based on an illusion. At the time, I had no notion of non duality and therefore no way to contextualize or conceptualize this (probably a good thing). All I knew was that whatever I saw was more real and more true than the way I had previously experienced “myself” and “the world”.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I have worked with many different guides, have tried a bunch of different approaches, and been to endless retreats since 2020, but I have lacked consistency and focus and have jumped from practice to practice. I have found that working with guides has not been super helpful for me, partly because of the fact that I feel like I have some insight and that sometimes leads guides to guide me in more advanced ways, which end up being rather fruitless. I do feel less identified with my stories than I once did, yet I know I haven’t fully seen through them.

I am hoping to get practical guidance and exercises to do to help me see through the illusion of self. I am hoping for a real shift, and I hope a guide can help me move beyond my doubt. I need someone who can give me homework and structure and also guide me through inquiries in session. It feels like starting over, but I've gotten to the point where I realize that jumping around is not helpful, so I'm willing to begin again.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry? Before I considered myself a seeker (or even knew seeking was a thing), I did several Vipassana retreats (starting in 2009) - I did maybe 5 10-day retreats, plus a three-day retreat, and worked as a volunteer there as well.

In 2017, I had a nervous breakdown, and began searching for a way out of my suffering, so I tried therapy, journalling, daily meditation, family constellations, and finally went to an ayahuasca retreat, where I had that opening I mentioned above.

In 2020, I began working with a non dual guide after having attended a Rupert Spira online retreat. That guide gave me several different pointers, including "taking a thought vacation", which was actually quite powerful that first week that I tried it, and I had a few small glimpses (like noticing the body was doing things without "me" being involved at all).

I then tried some chanting, some inquiry during yoga (as per Gary Weber's suggestions in his book Happiness Beyond Thought). I started working with another guide after that, who suggested ignoring all thoughts. This was a daily practice for a while, and I had a few more glimpses similar to the ones mentioned above, until I got frustrated and felt that I wasn't really advancing with that guide.

In 2022, I discovered Angelo Dilullo. This was both wonderful and frustrating because he points to so many different "levels" at the same time or in a same retreat, that I feel I have gotten confused as to what I should be doing and how to practice or not practice. He has certainly been helpful in terms of helping me see when I am in a narrative, and I have disidentified quite a bit from my story since working with him, but I still feel like I'm not getting that initial insight that can get things really going.

I have tried the classic "who am I" and "where am I" types of inquiries. These were never fruitful or interesting to me, or they would be for a day and then quickly fizzle out. I have tried keeping attention in the senses (gone through phases of trying sound, visual sense and body sensations. I have done many, many retreats. I have tried moving toward thought, moving away from thought, looking between thoughts, etc. I've worked with psychedelics, had what I believe to be brief experiences of non duality, I have seen the visual field flatten for a moment, I have seen what I looked something like Indra's net and felt nothing was what I had previously thought it was. I have had what I think was a mystical experience once in a breath work session (even though I wasn’t the one prating, but was accompanying a partner as they breathed). It has been a few years now since I’ve had any sort of opening or experience like these. My current practice has been daily chanting, mostly because I have been wanting to connect more to the heart, and chanting was recommended to me by Lisa Cairns. Although I love singing and am enjoying the practice, my mind feels untamed these days.

Last year, I tried the Sinking in process offered by Jason Soll through the Perfectly Okay community. While I didn’t feel any shifts, per se, I did become easily able to feel a sense of peace and flow, often at will during the day, whenever I brought my attention to it. I became very able to sit in silence, and would do so sometimes for 90 minutes or more, just simply basking in the silence and stillness I felt inside. After a couple of months, things shifted and I felt like distracting a lot.

I have done every single online and in-person retreat with Angelo since discovering him in March of 2022, which means two 5-day online retreats per year, plus four week-long retreats (once per year), one 5-day retreat he did in Kentucky, and the month-long retreat in New Mexico, where Angelo was there for one week and the rest of the time we were with Kogen and Esho, two Zen monks. I am planning on attending the month-long again this winter (February). I have also attended a dyad inquiry retreat (two years ago), and am attending another one this weekend.

I’ve done Byron Katie’s approach, some Sedona method, and the list probably goes on!

There is probably more I could say, but you get the picture - I’ve tried very many things! :)

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 11

[poppyseed]

Hi KatCat
(what do you want me to call you?)

Welcome to Liberation Unleashed :)! It’s great to see you here!
My name is Rali, and I’ll be glad to be your guide if you like.

Here at LU we assist in the exploration of the idea of the separate self. This is a guiding based on experience that brings a shift in perception and is not a debate. It directly points to what IS through the use of exercises, questions and dialogue. What is expected from you is to LOOK carefully to what is being pointed at. It is this simple LOOKING (not thinking) that brings a shift in perception.

Here, we are LOOKING directly into the experience of the senses, which is actually here and now, with the thinking stripped away. It is also known as Direct Experience (DE) or Actual Experience (AE). In this way, we are aiming to discover what is truly happening without the story we tell ourselves. For this process to work you have to answer with 100% honesty, and not relying on thought, imagination or memory - just reporting your direct experience. That would also mean leaving spiritual teachings, philosophies and science away during the inquiry. If you have a meditation practice, please feel free to continue with it as usual – it might come helpful.

Please read through “Liberation Unleashed is not …” in the FAQ’s of LU. Please confirm that you have read them
http://liberationunleashed.com/about/faq/#faq-1041

When replying to a question, please use the quote function to highlight the question being answered. Throughout this inquiry, please answer questions individually, not in a bundle. Please watch the below video to learn how to use the Quote function. This will assist us in having a clear dialogue around the questions and answers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fAToDNh9hQ

It is advisable that you copy and paste questions asked into Word, answer them there and then copy and paste them to your thread. It will save you time in the long run, if a glitch in the system wipes out your answer.

For the sake of the intensity of the inquiry let’s try to stick to a daily conversation. Of course, life happens, so if you need more time, please let me know. I will do as well.

What time zone are you in?
Love
Rali

[KatCat]

Hi Rali,

Amazing, thanks so much! I am in the Eastern time zone (Montreal, Toronto, New York). What about you?

Looking forward to this!

Kate

[KatCat]

Oops, I forgot to confirm that I have read what LU is not.

Also, today I have some intense work being done at my house, so won’t be available until this evening or tomorrow.

Thank you so much, Rali!

[poppyseed]

Hi Kate

Please make sure that you are subscribed to your topic. In the top left corner, next to "Post Reply" there is an icon that looks like a spanner. When you click on it there is a menu where you can select “subscribe topic’. Click on it once. If you want to be sure that you are subscribed just refresh the page and if you click again should show now “ unsubscribe topic”. Don’t click on it as it will unsubscribe you :).

I am in the Eastern time zone (Montreal, Toronto, New York). What about you?

I'm GMT+2 (South Africa). We have a bit of a difference but we’ll manage

Also, today I have some intense work being done at my house, so won’t be available until this evening or tomorrow.

No problem! Thanks for letting me know! :)

Looking forward to this!

Great!

First things first, let’s get your expectations out on in the open:

1. What will be different when you realize there’s no separate self?

2. What do you expect to happen as a result of this?

3. What do you want not to happen?

4. What are you hoping for?

5. What is missing?

Love
Rali

[KatCat]

What will be different when you realize there’s no separate self?

There will be no more suffering due to life’s ups and downs. Everything will be seen as just what is arising, without judgement or frustration. There will be no more need or desire to project into the future looking for something better or different than what is, so each moment will be fully experienced. The nervous system will relax.

What do you expect to happen as a result of this?

I notice there is an expectation that this will positively impact my career. I notice I am expecting to be accepted and respected (I see the irony in these expectations!). I notice a desire for this to make me popular or for people to seek me out to be in my presence. This sounds completely crazy when I write this, but I promised to be 100% honest, so there are my hidden agendas out in the open!

3. What do you want not to happen?

I want not to suffer anymore. I want not to be constantly living in a state of looking forward and backward rather than being right here. I want not to be afraid of following my heart.

4. What are you hoping for?

I am hoping for peace - not in the sense of constant bliss or happiness, but in the sense that everything that happens will be deeply accepted and not struggled against. No more striving.

5. What is missing?

This question is getting harder for me to answer in a certain sense. At the moment, it feels like what’s missing is the full embrace of what is. Sometimes it feels like a sense of separateness from the environment and other people. I believe I am separate and I believe it is possible to feel like there is no separation (mostly because I had a direct experience of that years ago that now seems inaccessible). This feeling of non separation felt like it threw everything I thought about myself and the world upside down. I have a memory of that realisation, but I don’t feel it anymore without having to think about it first. At this very moment, I am trying to find what feels like it’s missing and to see if that thought about being separate is true in this moment, because I know that’s also a story I’ve been telling for many years, and most often I don’t check to see if it’s true in the moment. So right now, there is I can’t find a point of separation, but I still don’t believe that I’m not separate. I can see I’m comparing my current experience to a thought memory of what non separation felt like.

[poppyseed]

Hi Kate

Thank you for your honesty! It can be challenging to become aware of what we really believe. The questions were a means to seeing what expectations you have, as everyone has some “idea” about awakening. There is so much information out there now with so many people sharing their experiences, and “teachers” preaching how it supposed to look and feel, that to have no expectations is almost impossible.

Your expectations are somewhat reasonable, but ultimately, expectations are a hindrance. They cling to an idea of how it is supposed to go, which is not necessarily correct, and this is why I asked you to read the FAQ’s of what Liberation Unleashed is NOT. When realisation happens, it can be very subtle and if there are expectations of any kind, then it can be missed and the guiding becomes very difficult. I can promise you there will be no fireworks; it is just a subtle shift in perception! The only true expectation, that you can have, is that the seeking will end. If there are any other expectations, it's good to acknowledge them and then set them aside. It is all much simpler and ordinary. Is that OK with you?

I notice there is an expectation that this will positively impact my career. I notice I am expecting to be accepted and respected (I see the irony in these expectations!). I notice a desire for this to make me popular or for people to seek me out to be in my presence. This sounds completely crazy when I write this, but I promised to be 100% honest, so there are my hidden agendas out in the open!

Haha! Wouldn’t that be nice? I would suggest reading “Liberation Unleashed is not …” in the FAQ’s of LU again :)

I want not to suffer anymore. I want not to be constantly living in a state of looking forward and backward rather than being right here. I want not to be afraid of following my heart.

This is not about escaping the suffering, it’s about seeing what it actually is. It actually is exactly the opposite – it’s about living in the moment (not the future or the past), it’s about being right here (not in the head), experiencing FREELY all – the good, the bad, and the ugly without judgement that it’s wrong or that it has to be fixed. The key is to realize that shoulds and should nots are the very things that make for a distorted view. Unconditional love (the open heart) knows no conditions and it will break through, burn through, all limitations. The only way out is through surrender. It’s where peace lives.

Sometimes it feels like a sense of separateness from the environment and other people. I believe I am separate and I believe it is possible to feel like there is no separation (mostly because I had a direct experience of that years ago that now seems inaccessible). This feeling of non separation felt like it threw everything I thought about myself and the world upside down. I have a memory of that realisation, but I don’t feel it anymore without having to think about it first.

What stands out is that you're not feeling non-separation — not because something is missing, but because you’re comparing what’s here to a memory. That past experience of non-separation has become a benchmark, and because this moment doesn’t match it, it feels like something’s wrong.
But notice: when you say “I can’t find a point of separation,” that’s already it. That’s the recognition. And yet, in the same breath, you say “I still don’t believe I’m not separate.” What’s happening here is a shift from direct looking to belief — a story about what should be happening. This is the seeker pattern running. It’s not that separation is present — it’s that the belief in separation persists, often unconsciously, through comparison and doubt.

So making a clear distinction between what is here (direct experience) and what is not (thought content) would be really helpful. And this is what we do here. We will clarify this next. But first let me ask you:

If you look for the I, what is there? If I say there’s no doer, thinker, experiencer, decision maker, or a witness, what comes up? Where exactly did you look? What exactly did you find? Please describe in detail what appears – feelings, sensations, thoughts, anything?

Do it a few times. Again the more you uncover, the better starting point we have. Whatever comes up is "right", it is exactly what needs to be seen right now. As usual, honesty will make this work

Love
Rali

[KatCat]

Haha! Wouldn’t that be nice? I would suggest reading “Liberation Unleashed is not …” in the FAQ’s of LU again :)

I am completely aware that what I wrote has nothing to do with what this is - I have zero illusions about that, but I think it’s important to acknowledge all the hidden agendas, which is what I was naming there. 🙂 But thanks for the reminder anyway!

I can promise you there will be no fireworks; it is just a subtle shift in perception! The only true expectation, that you can have, is that the seeking will end. If there are any other expectations, it's good to acknowledge them and then set them aside. It is all much simpler and ordinary. Is that OK with you?

Yes, absolutely! I am not really expecting fireworks, and I know it’s subtle - even when I had that opening at the Ayahuasca retreat it was subtle, but it was also very clear. I think what I’m looking for is the complete dropping of doubt.

This is not about escaping the suffering, it’s about seeing what it actually is. It actually is exactly the opposite – it’s about living in the moment (not the future or the past), it’s about being right here (not in the head), experiencing FREELY all – the good, the bad, and the ugly without judgement that it’s wrong or that it has to be fixed.

Yes, exactly. When I use the word suffering, I don’t mean that I expect to never feel bad again, but that the resistance to whatever is arising, the shoulds and should not’s will not be there anymore.Full acceptance of whatever arises. In all honesty, that feels more and more the case these days.

What’s happening here is a shift from direct looking to belief — a story about what should be happening. This is the seeker pattern running. It’s not that separation is present — it’s that the belief in separation persists, often unconsciously, through comparison and doubt.

Yes! That is exactly it - I look and I can’t actually find a point of separation - though the feeling that "I am in here” and 'that is out there” seems to persist. And I notice that when I start looking, a thought quickly arises that is trying to predict what it should feel like when it is seen that I and it are not separate, which usurps the direct looking. There is also the idea that “I” will see this.

Those thoughts are so subtle and sneaky. If I come back to direct experience to see what is creating the feeling of “me in here”, I find visual cues. I see my glasses frames, my dirty lenses, my hair, my hands - but I also realise those are thoughts too. What I actually see are lines and shapes and colours, plus thoughts labelling those things, and an assumption that they are mine. I also notice sensations. Right now, a bit of a sharp tightness in the chestbone, the sensation of eyes blinking, fingers typing, itchy nose. I also notice the movement of the chest, both in the visual field and in sensation with the breath. But I also “know” all of this stuff intellectually, and I find it hard to let that knowledge go and actually SEE this (doubt thought sneaking in…). The mind is sharp.

If you look for the I, what is there?

If I look for the I, I feel a sensation in the chest. It also feels like the thoughts are mine or me, and they are located somewhere in the head. I feel the eyes blinking. I have images of memories, of my various roles in life (friend, daughter, professional, etc), an image of my face and body in the room I am sitting in, I feel sensation in the face, I feel like I am the one typing and deciding what to say, even filtering how the expression comes out. I “know” with the mind that all these are just thoughts and sensations, but all added together, it feels like me. If I try break it down very slowly to each individual thing, say by closing my eyes and noticing, it still feels like I am somehow “looking” down, for example, at the sensation in the fingertips. It feels like I am behind the eyes. It almost feels like being stuck in a prison called a body, stuck behind the mask of the face.

If I say there’s no doer, thinker, experiencer, decision maker, or a witness, what comes up? Where exactly did you look? What exactly did you find? Please describe in detail what appears – feelings, sensations, thoughts, anything?

I feel like I’ve heard these things so many times that it doesn’t really bring up any particular emotion for me - it’s not a surprise and it doesn’t seem to bring up fear or disappointment. In general, I feel like I have never really had a super strong sense of “I”, so I don’t get fussed over the idea that there isn’t one. The one that is the hardest to swallow out of all of those is the no witness part. I’m not sure why. It brings up a sense of confusion, like the mind is trying to wrap itself around that (I know it can’t). At the same time, feeling into it, I feel very quiet and peaceful right now. But it still feels like there is an “I” who is feeling quiet, and witnessing and experiencing the quiet feeling. As I feel into it, it feels like I am physically looking into my head with my eyes to feel the quiet feeling. Like my eyes are kind of rolling back or pulling back to place attention in the head. Also,when I repeat the phrase “there is no I” silently, the same thing happens - The breathing also slows and becomes very thin, as if to create more silence and quietude. But it definitely feels like I’m looking into the physical head to find the answer to the question. I feel a stillness underneath it all.

[poppyseed]

Hi Kate,
Yes — that’s it. What you’re describing is the movement from direct looking into thought. You already see how subtle that shift is: a sensation is noticed, then almost immediately a label, an interpretation, and the old story of “I am in here” sneaks back in.

Thank you so much for your honest reply. It gives me an idea where to point. Before we start let’s just make sure that you understand how to LOOK for no self in the exercises:
Looking is a matter of noticing what is already here, not inventing or imagining something.
Looking is finding out what is true in experience. It is a nonverbal action of focusing attention on a target. Thinking is verbal—it is naming experience. Both work together as one mechanism.

As you can see, there is a BIG difference between knowing that there is nothing and seeing that there is nothing.
Here is an example to further illustrate the difference:

If I ask you what colour socks you are wearing right now you have two ways to answer:
1. You can think about it, trying to remember, or guessing what colour they are.
2. You can have a look at your socks and see what colour they ACTUALLY are!
You will agree that only by looking you could be 100% certain, right?

For the purpose of this inquiry, it is crucial that you are clear about this difference in the two ways of answering and stick only to the second way. We are only interested in looking at and seeing what is actually going on. We are only interested in Direct (Actual) Experience (DE/AE)- the experience right now and right here.

Direct or Actual Experience is:

Seeing
Hearing
Feeling (not emotion - emotion is sensation plus thoughts/labels)
Tasting
Smelling
Thoughts Arising (but not their content, what the thought is ABOUT)

Please let me know if you are clear about this or if you would like any further clarification.
Here's an exercise for you to get super clear on what direct experience is. You can use this photo of an apple or a real apple.



Have a look at an apple. When ‘looking at an apple’, there's colour, a thought saying ‘apple,' and maybe a thought saying, "I'm looking at an apple." What about the content of thoughts, what they describe? While these thoughts are known, what they talk ABOUT cannot be found in direct or actual experience. Direct, actual experience is sound, thought, colour(sight), smell, taste and sensation.

Taste labelled ‘apple’ is known
Colour (visual information) labelled ‘apple’ is known
Sensation labelled ‘apple’ is known (when apple is touched)
Smell labelled ‘apple’ is known
Thought about/of an ‘apple’ is known
However, is 'an apple' actually known? (Or is it just a label?) Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only colour and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’? Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

Love
Rali

[KatCat]

“You will agree that only by looking you could be 100% certain, right?”

Yes

“Direct or Actual Experience is:

Seeing
Hearing
Feeling (not emotion - emotion is sensation plus thoughts/labels)
Tasting
Smelling
Thoughts Arising (but not their content, what the thought is ABOUT)

Please let me know if you are clear about this or if you would like any further clarification.”

Yes, I think I am mostly clear about it - however, I sometimes get tripped up in the details, because how can I say anything about direct experience without a label? If I look at the “apple” in the photo and remove the concept “apple”, I still need concepts to describe it in a certain sense, no? It is red - that is a label. It is round - another label - so at what point do we draw the line? How can I say anything about anything? Words are themselves labels - I know we have to use them to communicate this inquiry, but I think I need a little more clarity about this. Is it a matter of recognising that there is a thought saying “round”, or “‘red”? The thought is direct, whereas “round” and “red” can’t be known. When I look at that picture, I notice a thought that says “wet”, one that says “picture”, one that says “apple”, one that says “I’m not sure if I’m doing this right”.

“However, is 'an apple' actually known? (Or is it just a label?) Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only colour and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’? Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?”

The apple is not known, it is a label. There is only colour and thought about an “apple”. “Apple” can’t be found in actual experience.

[poppyseed]

Hi Kate,
Really good looking here.

Yes, I think I am mostly clear about it - however, I sometimes get tripped up in the details, because how can I say anything about direct experience without a label? If I look at the “apple” in the photo and remove the concept “apple”, I still need concepts to describe it in a certain sense, no? It is red - that is a label. It is round - another label - so at what point do we draw the line? How can I say anything about anything? Words are themselves labels - I know we have to use them to communicate this inquiry, but I think I need a little more clarity about this. Is it a matter of recognising that there is a thought saying “round”, or “‘red”? The thought is direct, whereas “round” and “red” can’t be known. When I look at that picture, I notice a thought that says “wet”, one that says “picture”, one that says “apple”, one that says “I’m not sure if I’m doing this right”.

Yes — you're seeing it. Let’s clarify this one subtle point:
Even terms like colour, sound, sensation, thought — are still labels. They aren’t “pure experience,” they’re just useful pointers we use in this inquiry to direct attention to what’s actually here.
So the moment you say “colour,” you’re not identifying a thing called “colour” — you’re just referring to a raw, visual happening before the mind says “red,” “apple,” or “good/bad.”
Same with “sensation” — it’s not an object; it’s a direct tactile arising, named only after-the-fact.
So yes, words are labels. That’s unavoidable. But in this work, we’re not interested in getting rid of them — only in seeing them for what they are. Just thoughts. Just symbols. Words are not experience. The story about experience is not
experience. Experience is what is happening through sense perception: seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touching, feeling, and thinking. What is happening underneath the words is what the words are pointing to.
So is it a matter of recognising that there is a thought saying ‘round’ or ‘red’?
Yes. That’s the whole move. There is a thought saying “round.” That’s knowable.
But “round” itself — as an actual thing in experience? It’s not there. It’s a claim about experience, not experience itself.
So keep coming back to this:
What is here before the mind adds anything?
What’s here without needing to be named or explained?
You’re not being asked to stop the labels — just to see them clearly. And to recognise what doesn’t need them.
Please let me know if you need more clarity on this.

The apple is not known, it is a label. There is only colour and thought about an “apple”. “Apple” can’t be found in actual experience.

Yes, “apple” is a thought/label that points to sensations, taste, smell, and colour, but there is no an actual apple as an “object”. Everything that thoughts labels as an apple exists as sound, smell, taste, colour, sensation and thoughts about an apple. “Object” is another general label/thought that points to just hearing (sound), seeing (colour), feeling (sensation), smelling (smell), and tasting (taste). Clear?

Just to ensure that you are crystal clear about DE and labels related to it...here's an exercise that you can try as many times throughout the day as you can. Label daily activities, objects and emotions simply as colour/image, sound, smell, taste, sensation, thought as per the apple example.
For example, when having coffee in the morning, become aware of:
Seeing a cup, simply= colour (seeing)
Smelling coffee, simply = smell (smelling)
Feeling the warmth of the coffee cup, simply = sensation (feeling)
Tasting the coffee, simply = taste (tasting)
Hearing the spoon stirring the coffee, simply = sound (hearing)
Thought about drinking the coffee, simply = thought (thinking)

Break down daily activities into these categories (which are all Actual/Direct Experience) and report back with lists EXACTLY like the one above. Please write a few examples from your daily life.

Beautiful work so far. Stay with this.

Love
Rali

[KatCat]

Hi Rali :)

“You’re not being asked to stop the labels — just to see them clearly. And to recognise what doesn’t need them.
Please let me know if you need more clarity on this.”

That’s clear 🙂

“Yes, “apple” is a thought/label that points to sensations, taste, smell, and colour, but there is no an actual apple as an “object”. Everything that thoughts labels as an apple exists as sound, smell, taste, colour, sensation and thoughts about an apple. “Object” is another general label/thought that points to just hearing (sound), seeing (colour), feeling (sensation), smelling (smell), and tasting (taste). Clear?”

Clear 🙂

Break down daily activities into these categories (which are all Actual/Direct Experience) and report back with lists EXACTLY like the one above. Please write a few examples from your daily life.”

Example 1: Drinking cacao at my mother’s house

Seeing a cup, simply = Colour (seeing)
Smelling the cacao, simply = smell (smelling)
Tasting the cacao, simply = taste (tasting)
Swallowing the cacao, simply = sensation (feeling)
Hearing the swallowing of the cacao, simply = sound (hearing)
Thought about bringing cacao to my friend’s house this weekend = thought (thinking)


Example 2: Typing answers to this exercise

Seeing the computer screen, simply = colour (seeing)
Feeling fingers on keyboard, simply = sensation (feeling)
Hearing the keys being tapped as I type, simply = sound (hearing)
Thought about whether there is anything to smell in this situation, simply = thought (thinking)

Example 3: Showering

Feeling the water on my skin, simply = sensation (feeling)
Hearing the water hit the shower floor, simply = sound (hearing)
Seeing the shower wall = Colour (seeing)
Thought about what I have to do next, simply = Thought (thinking)
Thought about taking a shower, simply = thought (thinking)
Smelling the shampoo and conditione, simply = smell (smelling)

Example 3: Walking outside

Feeling the feet taking steps, simply = sensation (feeling)
Hearing the footsteps, simply = sound (hearing)
Seeing the leaves on the ground, simply = colour (seeing)
Thought about what a beautiful day it is, simply = thought (thinking)
Smelling the leaves on the fresh air, simply = smell (smelling)


Example 4: Cooking

Hearing the knife hit the cutting board, simply = sound (hearing)
Feeling the onion in my hand, simply = sensation (feeling)
Seeing the onion on the cutting board = colour (seeing)
Smelling the onion, simply = smell (smelling)
Hearing the onion sizzle in the pan, simply = sound (hearing)
Smelling the onion cooking in the oil, simply = smell (smelling)
Tasting the food, simply = taste (tasting)
Wondering what spices to add to my meal, simply = thought (thinking)

Example 5: relaxing in the house

Hearing the lawn mower outside the window, simply = sound (hearing)
Feeling my bum on the cushion, simply = sensation (feeling)
Scratching the itch on my head, simply = sensation (feeling)
Hearing my finger scratch my head, simply = sound (hearing)
Seeing the light streaming in the window, simply = colour (seeing)
Feeling the stretch in my leg muscles, simply = sensation (feeling)
Smelling the dog smell on the bed, simply = smell (smelling)
Tasting the residue of the cacao in my mouth, simply = taste (tasting)
Thought about whether I am supposed to note everything or just each sense once per activity, simply = thought (thinking)

Example 6: singing

Feeling the vibration of my vocal chords, simply = sensation (feeling)
Hearing my voice, simply = sound (hearing)
Seeing the darkness behind my closed eyelids, simply = colour (seeing)
Remembering the lyrics for the next line, simply = thought (thinking)
Feeling my lips and tongue move, simply = sensation (feeling)
Feeling joy, simply = sensation (feeling) + thought (thinking)
Thought about how I love this song, simply = thought (thinking)
Image of my body sitting on the bed, simply = thought (thinking)
Thought that I am singing, simply = thought (thinking)

Example 7: Washing the dishes

Seeing the dish in my hand, simply = colour (seeing)
Feeling the water on my hand, simply = sensation (feeling)
Hearing the dishes clink against each other as I pace them in the rack, simply = sound (hearing)
Smelling the dish soap, simply = smell (smelling)
Thought that says my mother will be surprised in the morning to see I've done the dishes, simply = thought (thinking)

:)

[poppyseed]

Hi Kate

Seeing the dish in my hand, simply = colour (seeing)
Feeling the water on my hand, simply = sensation (feeling)
Hearing the dishes clink against each other as I pace them in the rack, simply = sound (hearing)

Thank you for doing such wonderful looking! :) It is now to incorporate that looking into your everyday….make it a habit. You can give me a line or two with each of you replies to keep the momentum of looking going, if you want.

How does it feel to see what actually is?

If I look for the I, I feel a sensation in the chest. It also feels like the thoughts are mine or me, and they are located somewhere in the head. I feel the eyes blinking. I have images of memories, of my various roles in life (friend, daughter, professional, etc), an image of my face and body in the room I am sitting in, I feel sensation in the face, I feel like I am the one typing and deciding what to say, even filtering how the expression comes out.

Now that you know how to look let’s investigate “body”

1. Take something cold from the fridge – like a can of cooldrink. When you touch the can, what does more accurately describe your experience:
a. Your fingers feeling cold because of touching a cold can; or
b. Coldness - sensation labelled “cold”?
With eyes closed, where does the cold appear? Does it have a specific location?
Observe the order in which the details appear
2. Sit comfortably on a chair. Close your eyes and relax. Pay attention only to the feeling of your body. Just notice the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images. Keep your eyes closed and look:
Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or volume?
In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form? Does it have parts?
Is there a boundary between the body and the chair? At the point where your body contacts the chair, are there two things there, a body and chair, or one, sensation?
Is it "my" body, or is it just a body?
Is there an inside or an outside? If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly? If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?
What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to? What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?
Can the 'body' do things?

Look very carefully, especially with the last question. You can look several times during the day while doing other things (like washing hands, showering, walking, lying down, etc) before replying.
Love
Rali

[KatCat]

Hi Rali,

I had a terrible sleep last night and have been out all day. I started answering, but will finish tomorrow. Here is the first part of my reply:

“How does it feel to see what actually is?”

It still feels somewhat effortful to break experience down into the different components, but when I do, especially with thought, it feels like a relief, simply = sensation (feeling).

[poppyseed]

Hi Kate

I had a terrible sleep last night and have been out all day. I started answering, but will finish tomorrow.

Life happens :) Thanks for letting me know!

It still feels somewhat effortful to break experience down into the different components, but when I do, especially with thought, it feels like a relief, simply = sensation (feeling).

Wonderful!
Looking forward to the rest of your reply

Love
Rali