No!1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
Everything in experience - in the 6 senses - is simply happening without a separate entity making them happen, or a separate “part”/ bit standing apart from it all. That includes thoughts and body sensations.2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
The mind claims agency or identification with part of the whole after the fact. This identification can only be found within thought. And yet thoughts happen without a “one “ thinking them.
When it starts (the illusion of a separate self)? Whenever unconscious identification occurs with thought, especially “I” “me” and “mine” thoughts, and accompanying feeling sensations. (More abstractly/relatively, its likely a side effect of evolution, and protection of a separate organism. Also social reinforcement - to personify - from a very early age)
There is an assumption that feels real, and certain thoughts and impressions - plus the way the mind talks to itself in the first person as if to an actual entity - that reinforces this assumption which, unexamined, seems self evident.
For me, a framework of vague “personal” feelings and physical sensations - often around the face and head - are felt to be evidence of a self.
When looked at closely and directly, they are always just thoughts and feelings, and once seen, that becomes obvious. Its the assumption that feels so strong.
At first during the dialogue there was a slight feeling of devastation, as if breaking up with someone. But now its clear, theres an excitement and sense of things being clearer and lighter.3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
What is the difference? Just more confidence and clarity. There is still doubt, but there is no doubt that the doubt is simply part of that old assumption. There is confidence about not believing the doubt!
There is also an awareness of the continuing tendency to “claim” experience, such as this process, as if there was someone who can claim it. I expect this to continue and something to notice, and let go of, through continued checking in direct experience.
Firstly there was a brief fear barrier. The thoughts “do I want this?” and “can I go back now” were noticed. It was helpful to check back with the unsatisfactoriness of some habits to check “yes this is what “I” want” and also there is a trust that this is the way to go/ this is “good” (beyond relative good and bad) - I suppose the opposite of doubt.4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
That tipped me to really look in the one place that had remained unexamined in terms of direct experience: thoughts. There was a simple seeing that as with the other senses thoughts just arise without anyone behind them. That they were not being chosen by anyone.
“Going for a walk” with no clear idea of direction. Decisions happen seemingly in response to sights and feelings arising in the moment. For example the sight of a green area and a feeling of uplift. Maybe a memory. There is no seer, feeler, thinker or decider. All arise without an anyone being there.5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.
Intentions appear to arise here as thoughts, but such thoughts have nothing to do with initiating action. What actually happens or actions by the body are usually responses to the environment or to memory or to previous information that the system has been exposed to. A seeming “intention” is a thought claiming there was someone who intended something.Describe intention & give examples from experience.
Perhaps one could say that intention is actually whatever is happening right now…there isnt a person having an intention. Being whatever is unfolding…
There is no one who could have free will anywhere. Ownership of actions occurs after the fact. My experience is that things just happen in this now moment, including the arising of thoughts.Describe free will & give examples from experience.
It is clear here that thoughts arise without having been chosen. Also chosing what is eaten for lunch today is based on what is available and memories of experiences of past food. Its an automatic process with noone here doing any chosing.Describe choice & give examples from experience.
Control makes no sense. There is no controller of anything anywhere. Noone is in control. Everything simply arises in the moment.Describe control & give examples from experience.
There are sensations and appearances, but no actual things exist (behind the sensations). Movement and stillness are happening, but that does not equate to there being such a thing as time. Past and future (and present) cant be found in DE. Only this. So things don’t happen, even if appearances and movement can be found in DE. AS there is no time, in fact how can there be happening (Looking deeper into DE it is impossible to say what stillness or movement actually are. Or directionality. They lose their meaning - there is no existing focal/reference point. Dimensionality and relativity are literally imaginary, in that they are purely adventitious/mind created)What makes things happen? How does it work?
There is no “I” making anything happen. Transformation happens through awareness only (which isn’t personal), not by personal will. So there isn’t a separate self responsible for anything, and yet awareness of the liberating effects of clear seeing in DE is one of the conditions that leads to greater liberation (for noone).What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
Being greedy, hateful or deluded causes pain. It cant be said that I or Donald Trump are responsible in the moment for that. There is noone there, and thoughts arise on the basis of previous conditions, like a hamster wheel. However, knowing that greed hatred and delusion cause pain (on deeper and deeper levels of direct knowing) is a condition that can lead to liberation from that in the world (for noone)
There is a mystery in all of this as to why and how it is happening. And how it can be known that this is all happening at all.
As trust increases it seems less important to know.6) Anything to add?
THanks so much to Rali for your wise and skillful guiding. And to all at L.U. for your selfless efforts XX
