Looking for guidance to attain Stream Entry

[bentschji]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
Two meanings come up: firstly, there's no fixed sense of self ("me") but that's a fluid notion - a concept continuously recreated. Secondly, all phenomena are inherently devoid of an inherent quality of being - the molecules that comprise me could equally comprise someone else or the chair I'm sitting on.

What are you looking for at LU?
Looking for guidance on attaining stream entry. I'm doing 2h of daily sits since a year and have managed to get to access concentration and possibly some light form of jhana. I feel like I am treading a bit of water though and would like some more guidance.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
1] To check in with where I'm at and what's my experience like
2] To receive guidance on what to do until the next conversation
3] To implement that guidance and then take it from there
That'd be awesome :)

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry? Started meditation in earnest 5 years ago after a Goenka Vipassana retreat. Since then multiple retreats, a 3M layman monk experience in the US and a teacher and daily practice since ~1 year.
Spirituality slowly started taking over more and more of my life without me "doing" anything about it.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
11

[warissem]

Hi

I am glad to walk with you and help you see through the illusion of a separate self.

During our dialog these are some agreements to be satisfied :

Check in the forum once a day to read my questions or give your answers
Put aside all what you know about non duality, spirituality, ... and leave books and videos about these topics
Be 100 % honest when answering the questions : the answers must come through direct experience (seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching or sensations).
Read the disclaimer text
Learn how to use the quote function.

We can begin if you agree.

Warissem

[bentschji]

Hello Warissem,

thanks for your offer!

Learn how to use the quote function.

- done & agreed to the rest: looking forward to it.

Happy day~

[warissem]

Good morning

Here we are.

What are you expecting to happen after seeing through the illusion of a separate self ?
What is expected to change in your life ?

Elaborate on the answers.

Warissem

[bentschji]

Hello,

indeed we are - thanks for the help btw!

What are you expecting to happen after seeing through the illusion of a separate self ?

I (hah) would expect the idea of separation between "me" and the world, or "me" and "my decision-making" to fall away. There's an observer running in the background that I can tap into, I'd expect that to fade and to just have a process unfold.

What is expected to change in your life ?

My experience of being alive would expand: rather than "me" being alive, aliveness would expand.

[warissem]

Hi

Just let aside all your expectations and give faith to what is going here.

What comes up when you read this :

There is no you in any shape or form, there never was, it will never be.

Warissem

[bentschji]

There is no you in any shape or form, there never was, it will never be.

What comes up for me is a sense of freedom, ease, and inner peace.

[warissem]

Good evening

Great, here is an investigation to do :

Sit quietly for about 30 minutes and notice the arising thoughts. Just let them appear as they appear. Try your best to COMPLETELY ignore what they are saying and just notice how they appear without you doing anything at all.

Where are they coming from and going to?
Did you do anything to make a particular thought or thoughts appear?
Could you have done anything to make a different thought appear at that exact moment instead?
Can you predict your next thought?
Can you select from a range of thoughts to have only pleasant thoughts?
Can you choose not to have painful, negative or fearful thoughts?
Can you pick and choose any kind of thought?
Is it possible to prevent a thought from appearing?

Warissem

[bentschji]

Where are they coming from and going to?
Did you do anything to make a particular thought or thoughts appear?
Could you have done anything to make a different thought appear at that exact moment instead?
Can you predict your next thought?
Can you select from a range of thoughts to have only pleasant thoughts?
Can you choose not to have painful, negative or fearful thoughts?
Can you pick and choose any kind of thought?
Is it possible to prevent a thought from appearing?

• They're coming from nowhere and going nowhere
• I didn't do anything to make them appear, I can override them if I feel like it by repeatedly "thinking of something else"
• I couldn't have done anything different other than repeatedly "forcing" myself to think of something specific
• No prediction possible
• I cannot force my self to think "positively" or to avoid negative thoughts
• I have some choice in nudging myself to think certain things, but no control over it

If I do nothing, I have no control whatsoever ("no" to all the points above)

[warissem]

Good morning

Can you think about something else than what is appearing ?

Can a thought be seen before it appears ?

Is there a basket of thoughts from where you pick a thought ?

Are you a thinker of thoughts ?

Ponder on each question, select an answer at one at a time.

best for you

Warissem

[bentschji]

Good evening!

Can you think about something else than what is appearing ?

No, there's only one thought at a time that can be in focus.

Can a thought be seen before it appears ?

No, there's a slight tightening in my awareness before thinking happens.

Is there a basket of thoughts from where you pick a thought ?

No, there's some relationship around what's going on in my life and the thoughts that appear but that's not deterministic.

Are you a thinker of thoughts ?

There's no thinker. There's an observer though observing the thoughts.

[warissem]

Good evening

No, there's a slight tightening in my awareness before thinking happens.

Is it your awareness ?
Is there a you for whom belongs awareness?

There's no thinker. There's an observer though observing the thoughts.

Would you describe this observer ?

best for you

Warissem

[bentschji]

Is it your awareness ?
Is there a you for whom belongs awareness?

Difficult to say, I'd lean towards it more being like a contraction around something that appears in my awareness, rather than awareness itself.
There's seemingly no one to whom awareness belongs

Would you describe this observer ?

• Again, tricky to do, there's a sense of experience in my body that either flickers into just being experience or an experience of someone experiencing that sensation
• what else comes up to describe this observer is spaciousness, peacefulness, inclusiveness

[warissem]

Hi

There is a need to be familiar to direct experience which is the key to see through the illusion of a separate self. Direct experience is : seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching or sensations. Here's an exercise that I would like you to try as many times throughout the day as you can. Label daily activities simply colour/image, sound, smell, taste, sensation, thought.

So for example, when having breakfast, become aware of:-

Seeing a cup, simply= image/colour
Smelling coffee, simply = smell
Feeling the warmth of the coffee cup, simply = sensation
Tasting the coffee, simply = taste
Hearing the spoon stirring the coffee, simply = sound
Thought about drinking the coffee, simply = thought

Just break down daily activities into these categories (which are all actual/direct experience) and report back how you go.

Best for you

Warissem

[bentschji]

• When my awareness is up and running, objects appear and disappear, often in a continuous stream (things are)
• there's plenty of moments of my awareness seemingly being offline, and it jumps back to life when I remember to note / label things - if that happens, there's narrative gaps ("how did I get into the kitchen?")