I hope you are doing great!
But what is attention?
Attention feels like the absence of separation, just what is happening. It is also not very clear what it is yet, but that is how it feels.
Are there two – attention and thoughts – or just thinking?
There is just thinking and sound, smell, color, sensation, taste.
So, check is there anything that believes them or doesn’t?
No, there is not a thing that believes them or doesn’t, it just more thought.
Is there ‘believing’ or just thinking?
There is just thinking. Believing is another thought.
Just look, what is it that is separate from what is, and trying to figure out how things are?
There is nothing separate from what is, thought make it appear as if there was someone separate. Trying to figure out how things are is more thoughts.
Is there anything here, that is separate and isolated from what is, from reality, and thus is in need to understand reality?
No there is nothing separated and isolated from what is, from reality, therefore no need to understand reality. The seeking for understanding is more thought.
One thing was notice, some thoughts are more sticky than others, have more emotion behind them.
What do they stick to?
They stick to more thoughts. It seems that they are sticky because the emotion is connected to the next thought and so on.
What is the glue made of?
the glue is made of more thoughts and the sensation of the body. But my guess is that the sensation in the body and the thoughts are not separate. But thoughts make it so.
What drives it?
Nothing drives it, it I just what is happening.
So what is emotion in DE?
In DE emotion is sensation in the body, follow by thought.
How does it make thoughts stickier?
When there is resistance thoughts become stickier. They start to create a story of why things should o shouldn’t be the way they are. Not realizing that is what is happening and could not be any other way.
What are you, when you don't think about what you are?
This question is hard to answer. It feels like silence and whatever is happening, but is not clear yet.
Is the silence an absence of an answer, or is it the answer?
Silence is the answer, is what is happening.
Let’s have a look at the idea of control, choice and decisions. Please explore the two exercises below and report your findings
1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down. Now turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.
2. Put two objects that you like in front of you (e.g. a cup of coffee and a glass of juice), then pick up one or the other, while paying attention to the whole process of choosing.
Watch like a hawk. Don't go to thoughts, examine the actual experience. Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire…
How is the movement controlled?
The movement is not controlled it is just happening. The thought of someone doing it comes after the fact.
Does a thought control it?
No, the thought comes after the movement.
Can a ‘controller’ or and entity that is choosing be located?
Thought of someone controlling happens but there is no one that can be located that is choosing.
How is the decision made to turn the hand over?
It is not clear, but the it just happens, the thought, I make the decision comes after the action.
3. Can you please take me through a biggish decision that you made recently - not something very personal so you share more details about it? How did it come to be?
Last year I decided to change my career from data analysis to Fullstack developer. I already knew some programming but I wanted to become more proficient at it, because I was not finding the job that I wanted and because I like it more. Also it could benefit in the long run if life brings me back to data analysis or data engineering.
Consider all of the conditions that were necessary for it to happen. If any one of those conditions were different, would the outcome have been the same?
No the outcome would have been different, in reality it seems that my decision has more weight than it really does in the outcome. Many things have to happened for things to be the way they are.
How many of these conditions were outside of your influence?
Many conditions were outside of my influence. I had to get fired in order for me to come to this instance. I was very comfortable in my previous job, even thought I knew my skills were not updating. I also worked for a short period of time with some friends and that did not worked out. I wanted to go to India and stay there for a while but for some weird reason that didn’t pan out either.
What was in your control (according to thought)?
According to my thoughts studying hard in order to enter into the programming bootcamp was in my control. Deciding to enter the bootcamp, instead of continue doing self study. I think that is about it haha.
Some of my decision making was hard according to thoughts. I was a little bit confuse for sometime if changing to a career of programming was the right decision. I was worried that I was wasting my experience in data analysis, a field that is growing. Programming software is also growing, but data analysis is a hotter field at the moment. So it is interesting how thoughts make the illusion that decisions have more weight than they truly have.
Thank you very much for all your great pointers!