Let’s look at what is happening here.
You’ve created an idea how seeing through the self would be like, and now you are afraid of your own imagination, since you are not seeing it just as a fearful story, but you take this imagined future state as if it were something real.
Can you see this?
But HOW do you know this?Bad things happening. Things going wrong.
Do you see that fear is the result of thinking these thoughts? Not because these are the facts of reality, but just simply because you have these negative thoughts?
Do you think that as the result of this inquiry control will be lost? How could that be?You won’t have any control.
It’s based on the assumption that I am here, and if I do this inquiry I will lose control.
But who/what is it that could lose control? Is there an actual self here who has control now, but it could lose it?
What if control cannot be lost, since it’s never been?
What if there is no control in this very moment of being afraid of losing it?
And not because you’ve never had control. No.
It’s because there has NEVER EVER been a YOU in the first place, who could have control.
What if there is just a thought story about Mandy, who is afraid of losing control?
But what if all that is happening is just this THOUGHT STORY ABOUT a fictional character with its fictional control?
Can Batman lose control?
Does Batman has any control whatsoever?
Does Batman writing the story about Batman?
Or Batman exist only in the story, as a fictional character?
Has there ever been a real Batman outside of the story of Batman, controlling its story?
Dear Mandy, you are misunderstanding what seeing through the self means.I wouldn’t be able to change things I don’t like. I would have to accept everything as it is. I won’t understand anything.
It means that there is no Mandy other than a fictional character.
Many is ALREADY a fictional character. And she has always been.
But you are thinking that Mandy is a real person inside the body, and this person is in charge of what is happening, and she has likes and dislikes and she has a power over changing things that she doesn’t like.
But NONE of these are true.
That’s is just an IMAGINED STORY about an IMAGINED character called Mandy.
And in the story, this fictional character has likes and dislikes with seeming control, and now the me-character got afraid of losing control and not being able to prevent what she doesn’t like.
But it’s ALL a DREAM.
We (humans) are dreaming with open eyes.
We take our daytime dreams as facts of reality.
But this is just a story.
Just as there is a story about Batman, there is a story about Mandy. And there is a story about Vivien and all other characters.
This is indeed a fearful image. But it’s just a fantasy you’ve created.Things won’t matter anymore.I will become lazy & uncaring.
So you have beliefs about negative consequences and now you are afraid of them.
This definitely not true. If anything, connection and closeness to others got stronger, so the belief in the me’s fear will less obstruct real connection and intimacy with others.Won’t look after my kids or protect them.
OK. In the story of Mandy, the character got less interested in life, work and her kids. But this is STILL HAPPENS in the DREAM-STORY, and has nothing to do with seeing no self.I’ve already become less interested in my life, work, kids since this topic has come into my life.
Since seeing no self means waking up from this story, and seeing it only as a story.
But the story will go on.
Mandy will go on. All her life, caring about her children will go on, probably with more connection than ever.
It’s great that you can see that these are just thoughts and images! :)Basically just images & thoughts about everything getting worse than I believe they already are. Images of my kids being miserable, having an unhappy life.
Yes, these are just thoughts and images. Let this think in.
Do thoughts about future make future real?
When we believe our thoughts and take them for granted, then the body reacts to it in the form of unpleasant contracted bodily sensations.This was difficult, my thoughts were spinning after sitting & looking at the negative stories around the fear, it was hard to ignore them to look at what was behind the fear. So what I saw if ignoring thoughts/images was just sensation in my chest & stomach that came up then went away, that’s it.
When we believe a thought be real, then that abstract fleeting concept/thoughts turn into something very real. As if the body were a duplicating or transforming machine, and it transforms our fantasies (thoughts) into actual, real felt sensations, into bodily contractions, unpleasant sensation or emotions (but these are all just sensations). So in this way we feel what we think. With this transformation the self becomes quite real again. As if the felt sensations are filling our ‘internal dream stories’ with life, with reality. The realness of these sensations is providing the reality effect to your thought stories.
And what is the sure sign that we believe the content of thoughts? Emotional reactions, bodily contractions.