Can you see how emotions of frustration with the illness, self-pity, or anger are just when the story has been believed to the point when emotions are created?
Yes I can see this and I am able to drop these sometimes, more easily with pain or illness or self pity, but very less with anger (work in progress :)). But fundamentally I see that they are just thoughts manifesting into full body beliefs (except for maybe pain, which I feel has lower intensity though once the thought is recognised). Although I was on a boat a couple of days ago and felt very sea sick and tried to see the non existence of the sea sick thought, but failed :)
You will know when you have realised / seen no-self as apart from the relief etc it has a known feeling of irreversability about it. Again like your belief in father christmas. It can't ever come back.
I understand what you mean as I have felt/known that a few times since we started the inquiry, but never completely.
I'm generally more at peace and more aware of the 'I' and the autopilot nature. Unless you think otherwise, I think I want to really spend time with zazen as it seems like the right time now, since I'm now not that much in grips of thought as a few months ago. I can much more easily let go, which is great!
Also, I want to focus on the autopilot-ness, the non existence of 'I' in everything in the world, the aliveness that exists in me, a bird, tree, and daresay a table :)
I'm thinking that maybe I can focus on this over the next 3-4 weeks and reach out if I have any doubts? Unless you feel otherwise, I think I just have to spend time on this and really try see it fully.