Search found 13 matches

by ryder
Thu Nov 24, 2011 4:54 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Want to know the Truth? Step in.
Replies: 25
Views: 2718

Re: Want to know the Truth? Step in.

Sorry I haven't responded recently--I've been swamped with schoolwork.

Not much effort in observing, when I remember. Free will? With everything rising on its own, it doesn't seem like there's any free will, though identifying with the stream of thought gives the illusion that there is.
by ryder
Sat Nov 19, 2011 7:28 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Want to know the Truth? Step in.
Replies: 25
Views: 2718

Re: Want to know the Truth? Step in.

No, there isn't any doubt. But it's easy to get sucked into the train of thought, where the "I" seems real. I've been working on sitting quietly observing the motion of the mind "outside" of it.
by ryder
Sat Nov 19, 2011 3:35 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Want to know the Truth? Step in.
Replies: 25
Views: 2718

Re: Want to know the Truth? Step in.

Also. Can you look "inside", "outside" and investigate, what is real and what is not. Describe what you see widely. As you know already - don't use ideas, only experience here and now. The conviction that the self is real is illusion, a belief. Thoughts, feelings, sensations, awareness all appear t...
by ryder
Sat Nov 19, 2011 3:31 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Want to know the Truth? Step in.
Replies: 25
Views: 2718

Re: Want to know the Truth? Step in.

Can you copy/paste some sentence in our conversation which made last push to that shift?
There wasn't anything specific in our conversation---sorry. I was reading something else about seeking and "the seeker" and that's what did it.
by ryder
Wed Nov 16, 2011 1:55 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Want to know the Truth? Step in.
Replies: 25
Views: 2718

Re: Want to know the Truth? Step in.

Suffering, impermanence, duality all remain, of course---still have a long way to go.
I misspoke here. Suffering, impermanence, and duality don't go anywhere, according to what I've read about awakening, but the understanding and experience of them changes.
by ryder
Wed Nov 16, 2011 1:49 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Want to know the Truth? Step in.
Replies: 25
Views: 2718

Re: Want to know the Truth? Step in.

Beautiful. Much love here. Investigate and answer to those: - Explain in detail what the "I" is and how it works. - How does it feel to be liberated?

 - How would you describe it to your aunt who has never heard about no "I". Don't rush, look to the core, it is time to relax in being and be sure. ...
by ryder
Tue Nov 15, 2011 2:45 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Want to know the Truth? Step in.
Replies: 25
Views: 2718

Re: Want to know the Truth? Step in.

The feeling of I-ness is gone. It remains as a thought, but it isn't real and there isn't any attachment to it. Saying "I am thinking" or "I am aware" seems like a thought--it doesn't have the ring of truth to it that it did before. "I" just seems like a habit at this point.
by ryder
Tue Nov 15, 2011 1:36 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Want to know the Truth? Step in.
Replies: 25
Views: 2718

Re: Want to know the Truth? Step in.

I started looking for the seeker or any trace of seeking and something happened. I was shaking a bit and there was a brief flash/spot of light (but I often see those anyway). The shaking and ominous feeling was different, but it wasn't any sort of ecstatic experience. The "I" seems much less real--n...
by ryder
Mon Nov 14, 2011 11:08 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Want to know the Truth? Step in.
Replies: 25
Views: 2718

Re: Want to know the Truth? Step in.

Who is disentangled? Can you find that one who can, or cannot be disentangled? What else is there if not only thoughts, emotions, beliefs and awareness of that all? Investigate. Awareness is disentangled. But it doesn't seem like there's anything to the self other than what you said--it appears to ...
by ryder
Sun Nov 13, 2011 4:04 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Want to know the Truth? Step in.
Replies: 25
Views: 2718

Re: Want to know the Truth? Step in.

I've disentangled a bit from identifying with the stream of thoughts and the feeling of the face. Starting to see the "I" as a belief, which quiets things down quite a bit. Not sure what I should be doing other than sitting quietly. It doesn't seem possible to be aware of awareness; there doesn't se...
by ryder
Fri Nov 11, 2011 7:59 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Want to know the Truth? Step in.
Replies: 25
Views: 2718

Re: Want to know the Truth? Step in.

If I sit quietly the I gets disentangled from thoughts. Awareness doesn't seem to be the I, but its the only thing consistently present. I try to look for what/who is aware or seeking, but I can't grasp onto anything and I get frustrated. Then I think "there's no one that is aware, there's nothing t...
by ryder
Thu Nov 10, 2011 10:54 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Want to know the Truth? Step in.
Replies: 25
Views: 2718

Re: Want to know the Truth? Step in.

Thanks for your help. I’ll work on sticking by your guidelines/suggestions. (I paraphrased your questions below so I could answer them in my word processor program.) What is the “I” that jumps in? What is it in reality? It’s the sense of this body, primarily this face. Often there’s a flash of an im...
by ryder
Thu Nov 10, 2011 4:23 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Want to know the Truth? Step in.
Replies: 25
Views: 2718

Re: Want to know the Truth? Step in.

Hi Garsius Tyla, My name is Ryder. I've been actively seeking enlightenment for the last year. I definitely expect enlightenment to be some sort of liberating feeling of bliss that will solve all of my problems. While meditating or looking for the self, "I" keeps jumping in to try to grab onto somet...

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