Thank you!

It's funny because I have watched these videos before, but there's a different way that they feel now that I have had this shift.

The whole thing is very different than my mind imagined it was going to be. I can see now that I was probably having pretty clear glimpses early on, but I ...

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No, not in the way that I have believed in so long. There is an experience happening that is local to this bodymind, but it is just happening the same as everything else and is not a ...

I've heard about the other 10 fetters and I have looked into them. I have mostly been interested in seeing through the self (first 3 fetters) before I move on to the others.

I watched the videos you sent.

Here is my attempt at being as clear as possible and honest about where I am at, I am still ...

Stacy!

I had the clearest, longest glimpse I have ever had so far. I don't know if this counts as The Shift or not, but it was definitely cool and has sort of stuck with me the whole day.

I was just eating breakfast after having done my morning sit and there was just this realization that I am not ...

Okay, I think I've reached a point where I can reliably see that there is no 'inside' or 'outside' of me.

I can see that the sensations, emotions, thoughts, etc. are essentially no different from the sensations that I would normally label as 'outside' of me. Its all just experience and none of it ...

Is it like that?

No, unfortunately it is not like that. I am still very much seeking.

Then close your eyes and see if there is a line between you and out there, between you and life itself.
Yes, I remember doing this exercise probably about a month ago

If yes, where is the boundary?
There ...

I have been doing buttchair multiple times every day. Also listening to some non-dual teaching. Trying to pay attention to regular daily experience as much as possible. I didn't really feel like I had anything to update you on, so I hadn't posted the past few days.

I think I might have had a longer ...

Today was a lot of meditation and sitting with buttchair, as well as just paying attention to direct experience.

I feel like I caught more glimpses which is exciting. A lot of stuff that we've talked about previously was experienced again, like recognizing that inner and outer are the same.

I went ...

Yes, I am realizing more and more that I am catching myself thinking a lot when I should be looking more. I look for a bit and then I notice something and immediately try to make sense of it and then got lost in thought trying to make sense of it.

I have been doing multiple sessions of 20-30 ...

And what have you learned that Sensation of tension mean?
Tension means there is a lie

"Self" = Tension+Thought = Lie

I guess I really underestimated how much relaxation was going to be a key part in this

More Buttchair and more of the same experiences. Lots of peace and calm. The cramps come ...

Thank you.

Honestly, I think if I were just trying to do this on my own I would have given up this week and just moved on to something else at this point. I appreciate all the help and pointers you have given me.

I was able to do my first proper sits in what feels like at least a couple weeks ...

Hey Stacy,
Things have been hard lately. I haven't had a ton of motivation. I have been doing buttchair every day, but I haven't been spending much time with it and I've felt more drawn to other meditation practices. I am having a hard time believing that doing buttchair alone is going to give me ...

More Buttchair. I feel like since my habits got thrown off from being sick it is taking me a while to get back to the level of concentration that I had before. Focusing on sensations. Noticing thoughts and trying to not engage in them. Will continue. Thanks

Its been over a week at this point since I had a formal sit for meditation. It feels like I am starting from square 1 on this. Combined with my lack of practice and having been sick, it feels like my mind is a completely different place from last week.

Sitting down for ButtChair:
- Even with eyes ...

Hey Stacy

Sorry I have been awol the past few days. I have been extremely ill so I wasn't doing anything except resting as much as possible in bed, but I am mostly recovered now.

It was sort of funny whenever this type of LU stuff would pop into my head during my sickness. I feel like it was ...