Thank you once again Vivien, eternally grateful! This has been a joy. I will surely be in touch when ready to explore the other things we talked about. Much love! :)

Hi Vivian, okay, thanks so much!

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?


There is no separate self, no I, no do-er, no experiencer, no entity. There is just what is, experience, the activity of life. There was never anything separate from this; everything ...

Yes, 100% certainty that there is no separate self governing life! No doubts, there is no way to unsee once it has been seen and can be verified in any instant. If any doubts were to arise, or when clouding happens, simply looking at reality is the silver bullet. This has been experienced and is no ...

Hello Vivien, it has been good to let things settle this week. While identification arises, there is no more overarching belief in a self. Meaning, prior to our conversation, I would have given you various reasons for why there is a self (it’s this body, it’s who is experiencing, etc.) and would ...

Dear Vivien, apologies I will need a bit more time to reply fully as I have come down with a bad cold. I am going to rest my eyes for a few days away from screens, and will write again asap! Speak soon!

Thank you Vivien so much for sharing all this! Totally understood. Seeing no self is just the beginning, and afterwards comes seeing through the conditioning and triggers as they continue to arise. And also understand the difference between obsessive seeking vs continued exploration.

Well, when ...

Hi Vivien, thank you for these :)

is there an expectation that there shouldn't ever be a 'total
identification?
That there has to be a total seeing, 24/7?

There absolutely WAS an expectation that going through the gate meant a permanent end to identification - until you explained that seeing is ...

Hi Vivien!

Now, what is it that is seeking for happiness?

What seeks for happiness, is not a really thing, but mostly appears in a thought that begins with “I” (“I want…”). When this is looked at for extended periods, those thoughts even stop right away and lose their steam, so all that’s left ...

Now look at this.... brings happiness for who/what?

Hi Vivien, looking at these questions repeatedly, the experience of happiness and unhappiness was revealed to be something rather different than just an emotion or state. The word happiness conjurs up an image of a feeling that comes and goes ...

First, it's good to know that we don't clearly hear what a teacher says, we hear it though our beliefs, desires, conditionings.
Second, this cannot be clearly communicated, since it's beyond or prior to words.
So grasping it, or trying to understand it has really no value.

Understood! - thank ...

Thank you Vivien. What has come up mostly is still a trying to grasp is-ness, being. To be more aware of it, to understand what I read over many years about our true nature (so I suppose this issue arises due to my head being full of concepts from years of seeking).

It is easier to see what is NOT ...

Hi Vivien!

How does it feel to see this?

Recognising “is-ness” for the first time with the last inquiry - all these phrases I had heard over the years of seeking, like “being”, which used to sound meaningless, just made obvious sense, in a calm, ordinary, “duh” way. There was then grasping ...

Thank you Vivien, I reflected on these questions today but would like to marinade in this a bit. I will get back to you by Wed! :)

Hi Vivien thank you for the inquiries, so helpful. I was able to see an assumption about being “behind” the field of experience, and also understand that it’s not about discovering that I don’t exist at all (my confusion was due to all these concepts in my head from previous years of reading ...