Search found 31 matches

by Holly
Fri Oct 09, 2020 4:44 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Holly's Thread
Replies: 60
Views: 2107

Re: Holly's Thread

Hello, Can you find any link between the fear and the thoughts or does something come in that forces that to happen ? Is there some quality the sensations of fear have that means you have to shift to the thoughts ? I shift to the thoughts without noticing it. There have been a handful of times I've ...
by Holly
Thu Oct 08, 2020 5:01 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Holly's Thread
Replies: 60
Views: 2107

Re: Holly's Thread

Hi Richard, Right, so to put it another way, what is the difference between paying attention and not paying attention ? What is happening when we are not "paying attention" ? Then you can look to see if it is anything you have control over. I think this is the very question I've been asking, and fro...
by Holly
Fri Oct 02, 2020 2:26 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Holly's Thread
Replies: 60
Views: 2107

Re: Holly's Thread

I'm in the United States in the Pacific Northwest, I think I'm 8 hours behind you. I can be free pretty much any time this weekend. Maybe 10:00 my time 18:00 yours?
by Holly
Tue Sep 29, 2020 2:50 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Holly's Thread
Replies: 60
Views: 2107

Re: Holly's Thread

Hello, What is it like to not be "in awareness" ? I think the term "awareness" actually means multiple things. There is the awareness which is just simply being alive with a nervous system. But then there is this other quality, which I don't think is actually awareness, but which gets called awarene...
by Holly
Sun Sep 27, 2020 7:34 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Holly's Thread
Replies: 60
Views: 2107

Re: Holly's Thread

Hi Richard, It might be interesting to have a play and see what happens when you try to be aware. What difference does it make ? Does your posture or what you feel in your body/mind change ? Do you feel more tense or relaxed ? Well, I've spent the past 3 years trying very hard to be aware. I took a ...
by Holly
Wed Sep 23, 2020 11:44 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Holly's Thread
Replies: 60
Views: 2107

Re: Holly's Thread

Richard, What is awareness ?, can i find it ? can i stop being aware ? Questions surrounding awareness continue to come up for me. It's been pointed out to me before that trying to be aware is counter-productive. But, I have not been able to stop trying to do it. However its looking more and more li...
by Holly
Tue Sep 22, 2020 5:03 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Holly's Thread
Replies: 60
Views: 2107

Re: Holly's Thread

When it's clear there is noting for the thoughts to stick to, you might find it easier to look at the dislike thoughts and see what basis they have (there might be some feelings that come along with these too - look for any connection between the thoughts and the feelings). I've been working with t...
by Holly
Sun Sep 20, 2020 5:35 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Holly's Thread
Replies: 60
Views: 2107

Re: Holly's Thread

Richard, Good luck with the weekend work! When you look closely, what do you find that thoughts of dislike can connect with and stick to? I spend time with this today because this is really beautiful and profound, that there isn't any person that dislike can stick to. I can't find anyone of course, ...
by Holly
Thu Sep 17, 2020 6:03 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Holly's Thread
Replies: 60
Views: 2107

Re: Holly's Thread

Hi Richard, The reasons for the fear and pain seem to be a little different and change each time, but the overall theme of them is probably pretty much the same. It seems to be because not having control means really giving everything up. There is a chronic dislike with myself and who I am in the no...
by Holly
Tue Sep 15, 2020 6:54 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Holly's Thread
Replies: 60
Views: 2107

Re: Holly's Thread

Hello Richard! Its been a few days since I wrote. The road trip was good but very intense, there are some family dynamics that were challenging and so it was emotional, plus pretty draining as there was quite a lot of driving. However, all good stuff. In regards to your question as to whether or not...
by Holly
Thu Sep 10, 2020 4:39 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Holly's Thread
Replies: 60
Views: 2107

Re: Holly's Thread

One thing to watch out for is that when there is a clear seeing thoughts can change to seem like they know. Bur whatever conclusion they seem to draw about the seeing, is not the seeing itself. They can't actually know anything can they ? Yes! This has happened many times. Its so frustrating. Just,...
by Holly
Wed Sep 09, 2020 5:40 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Holly's Thread
Replies: 60
Views: 2107

Re: Holly's Thread

Thanks, what you wrote is perfect for me. I think my expectations about what I should be feeling or thinking are getting in the way and I have trouble believing that what I am experiencing and feeling right now is really enough. And so I think about what I think I should be doing or how I think I sh...
by Holly
Mon Sep 07, 2020 6:58 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Holly's Thread
Replies: 60
Views: 2107

Re: Holly's Thread

Richard, Camping was really great! I had a good amount of time to focus on body sensations. It was dark while we drove to the site, and I was noticing lights, I saw a red light and thought "red light" and then realized...it isn't a light, and it isn't red. These are just concepts. Its just a sensati...
by Holly
Tue Sep 01, 2020 2:15 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Holly's Thread
Replies: 60
Views: 2107

Re: Holly's Thread

Richard,

I also want to let you know, I am going camping for a few days. I may have cell reception but no guarantees. When I'm able I will keep checking and replying here :).

I should be back by Saturday.

Holly
by Holly
Tue Sep 01, 2020 2:12 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Holly's Thread
Replies: 60
Views: 2107

Re: Holly's Thread

Hello Richard, One thing I noticed today is that I am resistant to seeking by looking at sensation. I sort of just don't do it and then tell myself that I did. This doesn't make a lot of sense to me why this is, except to say, in the past when I've spent lots of time paying attention to only sensati...

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