Search found 52 matches

by Oneironaut
Thu Mar 05, 2020 4:04 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Seeking I guess, always seeking.
Replies: 98
Views: 5958

Re: Seeking I guess, always seeking.

Hi Jon. Perhaps I am closer than it appears from my perspective. But from here it just seems as though I'm going in circles and that can be demotivating. I've continued to look as awareness and the 'controller' as best I can as they seem to be where my 'self' evidence is coming from but I'm still ge...
by Oneironaut
Tue Mar 03, 2020 8:55 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Seeking I guess, always seeking.
Replies: 98
Views: 5958

Re: Seeking I guess, always seeking.

Hi Jon This withdrawing of enthusiasm could easily be another wave of the anxiety we spoke about so if it continues and if you suspect that it is reluctance let me know? We can work with it, probably very successfully. You're more optimistic than I am about it but yes I have no intention of actually...
by Oneironaut
Sat Feb 29, 2020 6:44 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Seeking I guess, always seeking.
Replies: 98
Views: 5958

Re: Seeking I guess, always seeking.

Hi again. I just wanted to say I appreciate the time you've given me. I'm not a very empathetic person with the particular cold childhood I had. But there's nothing making you give time to this stubborn fool so I just wanted to thank you and let you know it does matter to me even if I don't say it o...
by Oneironaut
Sat Feb 29, 2020 4:55 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Seeking I guess, always seeking.
Replies: 98
Views: 5958

Re: Seeking I guess, always seeking.

Hi Jon. The past few days have been less eventful, it felt as though I was starting to make some real progress the other day, but then life continued to life and my focus has shifted to other concerns. So not much has changed since my last post. It's almost as if one of the methods of this hesitant ...
by Oneironaut
Thu Feb 27, 2020 2:06 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Seeking I guess, always seeking.
Replies: 98
Views: 5958

Re: Seeking I guess, always seeking.

Attempts to look are triggering those moments of understanding more frequently and looking at them I'm seeing the sudden reaction that takes place after where the old assumed understanding is quickly put in, but I'm seeing it happen now and taking the opportunities to notice it every time and notice...
by Oneironaut
Wed Feb 26, 2020 10:03 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Seeking I guess, always seeking.
Replies: 98
Views: 5958

Re: Seeking I guess, always seeking.

It's not through lack of understanding, I think I'm just struggling with truly committing to let go of "me". But that fear is unfounded.

Conceptually it's clearer than it ever has been.
by Oneironaut
Wed Feb 26, 2020 4:39 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Seeking I guess, always seeking.
Replies: 98
Views: 5958

Re: Seeking I guess, always seeking.

Hi Jon. What one? Point right now exactly at the place where Liam is. Notice the controlling going on. In what control room or place behind the scenes is this one to be found manipulating levers or pulling strings? If it's hard to find this controller look a little more carefully. This is critical. ...
by Oneironaut
Mon Feb 24, 2020 6:34 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Seeking I guess, always seeking.
Replies: 98
Views: 5958

Re: Seeking I guess, always seeking.

Hi Jon. You are not turning around inwards sufficiently to take a proper look. I guess not. What do you really want? The end of seeking is a real possibility here. There's an inner freedom and ease that's implied by not needing to place lots of responsibility and weight on this 'self', this controll...
by Oneironaut
Fri Feb 21, 2020 6:43 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Seeking I guess, always seeking.
Replies: 98
Views: 5958

Re: Seeking I guess, always seeking.

Hi Jon. Your remark about 'is-ness' is interesting. I agree. Is-ness, awareness, is irrefutable. But do I find this to be some kind of evidence for thinking or feeling that there must be a self? Hard to breakdown what exactly about it seems to jump out at me as evidence. I feel centered in awareness...
by Oneironaut
Wed Feb 19, 2020 11:34 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Seeking I guess, always seeking.
Replies: 98
Views: 5958

Re: Seeking I guess, always seeking.

It's so hard to communicate this. Feeler is the wrong word actually because I'm not saying that anyone is doing the feeling, there's no feeler and anything that is felt isn't me. I'm not saying that anyone is doing awareness either, it's more the fact that awareness exists at all appears to be evide...
by Oneironaut
Wed Feb 19, 2020 9:41 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Seeking I guess, always seeking.
Replies: 98
Views: 5958

Re: Seeking I guess, always seeking.

I hit submit by accident there, bare with me while I get rest out
by Oneironaut
Wed Feb 19, 2020 9:22 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Seeking I guess, always seeking.
Replies: 98
Views: 5958

Re: Seeking I guess, always seeking.

Hi Jon. That a 'me' feels real and true again could be looked at. You say 'feels'. I understand that but examine what is that feeling? Is there an energetic sensation in or around the body that corresponds to what is descrivbed as a feeling? It's hard to really pick and point to one specific feeling...
by Oneironaut
Wed Feb 19, 2020 3:42 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Seeking I guess, always seeking.
Replies: 98
Views: 5958

Re: Seeking I guess, always seeking.

I still frequently have been having those moments, where it all seems so obvious and clear and 'me' is nothing more than an empty idea. Then a moment later it's gone and 'me' feels real and true again. It's as if the mind is like "whoops forget the me for a second lets just get that back up and runn...
by Oneironaut
Tue Feb 18, 2020 5:08 pm
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Seeking I guess, always seeking.
Replies: 98
Views: 5958

Re: Seeking I guess, always seeking.

Hi Jon. It would be good if we stepped up the frequency of our exchanges. Yes I do agree, the big issue for me right now is just putting aside the time to sit down and give a thorough reply and it seems it's really started to slip. My new job doesn't really give me anytime between work and sleep to ...
by Oneironaut
Tue Feb 11, 2020 6:36 am
Forum: THE GATE
Topic: Seeking I guess, always seeking.
Replies: 98
Views: 5958

Re: Seeking I guess, always seeking.

Hi Jon, I'm so sorry, I usually recieve an email whenever you reply but did not this time for whatever reason. Anyways. At least, whatever it is that, via thoughts, appears to be 'me' is not causing sensations to happen. They just seem to be happening. I like this wording, more and more it feels as ...

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