Hey Vivien,

What is it that could pretend and play along?

Nothing really, that's why "as in" was used - it appears so, there are thoughts about it, but there's nothing to be found and noone to look for it.

What is doing the pretense?

Same as above.

Hi Vivien, Could you please tell a bit about how the self shows up in your everyday life? It doesn't. There's only a lot of thoughts about a self, about a person and its life-story, about someone believing in the content of those thoughts etc. What thinks? Thoughts are. They just happen. No plural, ...

So, Vivien, what do I do now? I'm interested in seeing what's going on with others at the gate and so on; here, most of the time, there are thoughts about "I" just like before and also there's the expectation of them falling away, and then there's not, and then again...

It's been five days since it clicked. The most interesting thing about it being how ordinary it is, indeed.

Now what? Chop wood, carry water, right...

There was about a month long break in the inquiry, followed by another dive in, doing a lot of exercises from other threads and so on. I'd say it's clearly established that there is not and never was an ego, but still this understanding doesn't pervade everything, it's like there are areas where thi...

There's no point in arguing. I was grateful when your guiding was helpful and resentful when you started to talk about what I was doing, taking your imagination for the truth - and you're doing it again, like in "you're missing that we're volunteers". I imagine you mean well and that it works more o...

The "I" still points to the whole body, and to the thoughts around. It is a hollow concept, useful in communication, and empty. The thoughts keep referring to the "I", as if it was a real center, but they don't support each other with such certainty as before, it's like they are describing the emper...

Hi Vivien, the problem isn't that I'm not willing to look, it's that I can't answer your question when it doesn't make sense to me. I can agree that it might be the result of not looking further (and what isn't, on this forum), but that's simply where I'm at. Since this illusion is not acceptable, n...

Hi Vivien, I didn't do much looking for the previous reply, nor for this one - if only I knew how not to rely on memory! :) After not being able to find "me" in a particular place, I - my thoughts - find solace in referring to the whole body, and saying MY body and MY leg doesn't change anything. I ...

Hi Vivien, So WHERE is this me thoughts are referring TO? Where is the physical location of this me? It's nowhere, thoughts point to imaginary location. Hm, but I can't find any location that wouldn't be imaginary. Let's say that objects are real... then the thoughts refer to the body as a whole. "I...

Hi Vivien, so.. I did find some stuff - all imaginary :) OK. I would like to ask you to search for this me that thoughts are appearing to. They don't appear to nothing. Or they do appear to nothing. Or they just appear. It all has the same meaning. They do reference a self and other mental concepts....

just checking in, still looking :)

have a nice day

Hey Vivien,

Please point with your finger (literally) to the ‘me’ that thoughts appear to.
Where do you point at?

I don't know where to point to.

And is there a me/self in the head, looking through the eyes? When you FEEL that spot, what do you find there? No, it didn't come back for now. I can report only a lot of thoughts. When I was focusing on the "feeling of me", it was clearer, now it's like thoughts are jumping all over the place, ann...

Hi Vivien, OK, then please focus on the sensations in the torso. FEEL. Just feel. What is there? What is felt there? There's nothing. Maybe some tensions were associated with the self before, but when looking through everything, the "feeling of me" disappeared, or was never there, anyway, there's no...