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That restless, compulsive searching for that one bit of knowledge that one experience, that one insight that will make everything okay is the condition a lot of seekers are in, and it can go on for decades, because there is literally nothing, no bit of knowledge, no specific experience nor insight, that will satisfy you. There is no “you.” Dissatisfaction with what is, is the essence of the illusory self. The self exists (in appearance) due to that very dissatisfaction.